Jump Off Roof Comic Strips - Page 3

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585 Results for Jump Off Roof

View 21 - 30 results for jump off roof comic strips. Discover the best "Jump Off Roof" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2012's comic on:


Tags #copyright & trademark, #farmers & farm workers, #violates patents, #close compnay, #lawyer, #off grid, #legal

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Lawyer: Our new product violates 70 Google patents, 14 Apple patents, 52 Oracle patents, and 37 Microsoft patents. There is no hope. I recommend that we close the company and become farmers. Boss: I need a lawyer with more fight in him. Lawyer: I'm off the grid.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 03, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #urget, #memo, #employees, #important, #competitive, #proactive, #quality, #items, #pounding, #tingly, #day, #off

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Dilbert sits at his desk reading a memo. Dilbert reads, "Urgent memo to all employees:" Dilbert says, "Uh-oh. Looks important." Dilbert continues reading, "If we are to remain competitive, you must proactively improve quality on all actionable items!" Dilbert says, "Wow! That was inspiring. My heart is pounding. I'm all tingly . . . I'd better take the rest of the day off . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #japanese, #offer, #company, #ceo, #employees, #laid off, #accept, #neener, #Dogbert

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A man stands in front of Dilbert's desk and says, "The Japanese have made an offer to buy the company." The man continues, "As CEO you would make $68 million . . . But the employees would all be laid off." Back at home, Dilbert asks Dogbert, "If I accept, what will I say to the employees?" Dogbert replies, "How about 'neener neener?'"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 09, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #reject, #generous, #company, #hostile takeover, #formidable, #adversary, #lawyers, #clothes off

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Dilbert says to two attorneys, "I've decided to reject your generous offer to buy the company." Dilbert continues, "And if you try to make this a hostile takeover you will find me to be a formidable adversary." Dilbert arrives at home with his clothes ripped to shreads. Dilbert tells Dogbert, ". . . Then their lawyers chewed my clothes off."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 20, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #alice, #laid off, #bruce, #calculated, #friends, #pay cuts, #company, #gosh, #office, #furniture

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Dilbert, Wally and Alice stand behind a man's desk. Wally says, "We're sorry to hear you're getting laid off, Bruce." Wally continues, "We calculated that if ten of your friends here took ten percent pay cuts then the company can keep you." Bruce says excitedly, "Gosh! You'd do that for me?" Wally replies, "No. We're here to look at your office furniture."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 08, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #investor, #financial, #advisor, #timid, #product, #window, #certificate, #deposit, #withdraw, #flying, #debenture, #trade off, #money, #fling

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Dilbert and the financial advisor sit at the table. The advisor says, "For the timid investor, I recommend our 'Perpetual Certificates of Deposit.'" The man continues, "They earn the highest possible interest. The only trade-off is that you can never withdraw it." Dilbert asks, "Why don't I just fling my money out a window?" The advisor replies, "Ah, you've heard of our 'Flying Debenture' product?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 28, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #roof, #leaking, #fix, #tomorrow, #members, #profession, #unreliable, #quote, #show, #return, #calls, #hired, #nobody, #repeat, #customers

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Dilbert points to the ceiling and says to a roofer, "The roof is leaking there. Can you fix it tomorrow?" The roofer replies, "Well, like all members of my profession, I'm unreliable. However, I could give you a quote and then never show up or return your calls." Dilbert says, "You're hired. Nobody else would even show up for the quote." The roofer says, "I depend on repeat customers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 19, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Wally, #roof, #cubicle, #modular, #idiot, #wall, #ceiling, #chance

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Dilbert says, "Hey, Wally, how did you get a roof for your cubicle?" Wally replies, "This stuff is modular. You just take some idiot's wall and make it your ceiling." Dilbert asks, "By any chance, do you know what happened to MY wall?" Wally asks, "What did it look like?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 10, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #zimbu the monkey, #lay off

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey, "It's going to be tough deciding which of you to lay off." The Boss continues, "I want to keep the employee who projects the most professional image." Dilbert puts his hand behind Zimbu's head and makes a 'V' with his fingers. Dilbert thinks, "This should make him look pretty stupid."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 11, 1993's comic on:


Tags #the boss, #Dilbert, #lay off

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The Boss says to Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey, "I can't decide which one of you to lay off, so I've decided to have a contest." The Boss says, "The first event is the 'staple chase.'" Dilbert has been stapled to a bulletin board. The Boss says, "Round one: Zimbu." Dilbert says, "I think I winged him."