Junk Food Comic Strips - Page 3

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135 Results for Junk Food

View 21 - 30 results for junk food comic strips. Discover the best "Junk Food" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 15, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #waiter, #hair, #soup, #date, #men and woman, #served, #integrity, #analysis, #comparison, #tough, #waiters, #restaurant, #own, #lab, #problems, #hairy, #Food, #clumps

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Dilbert and a woman sit at a table in a restaurant. Dilbert says, "Waiter, there's a hair in my soup." The waiter says, "It looks like one of yours. I'm sure it wasn't there when I served it." Dilbert says angrily, "It is NOT one of mine!" The waiter replies, "Sir! You insult my integrity!" The waiter says, "I shall send the hair to our lab for analysis." Dilbert replies, "Fair enough." The waiter pulls out some of Dilbert's hair and says, "They'll need a clump of your hair for comparison." Dilbert cries, "Ouch!" Dilbert tells the woman, "You have to be tough with these waiters or else they'll walk all over you." The woman asks, "Does it seem odd to you that the restaurant has it's own lab?" Dilbert replies, "They must have a lot of problems with hairy food." The waiter returns and says, "The lab says they need a few more clumps of your hair . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 05, 1997's comic on:


Tags #dilbert mother, #promoted, #executive engineer, #same pay, #responsibility, #throw party, #no gifts, #no music, #no food, #no guests, #business cards

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Dilbert is on the phone while Dogbert watches. Dilbert says, "Mom, guess what.. I got promoted!" Dilbert says, "You're talking to the new Executive Engineer." Dilbert says, "No.. nobody reports to me. No... it's the same pay as before." Dilbert says, "But I do get a lot more responsibility!" Dogbert's ears fly up. Dilbert puts his hand over the telephone receiver and says to Dogbert, "She's going to throw a party for me!" Dilbert's Mom sits on the couch and says, "No.. no gifts. No... no music. No... no food. No.. no guests." Dilbert says, "I guess it's just you and me." Dilberts mom says, "I'm busy that day." Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table wearing party hats. Dilbert says, "I'm not allowed to get new business cards, but I can write my new title on the old ones!" Dogbert falls asleep.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 14, 1997's comic on:


Tags #beg food, #carpet, #cubicle, #dog collar, #invisible boundary, #mark boundary, #mild shock, #new guy, #new hire, #offcie, #high tech device

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The Boss and Bruce walk by a cubicle. The Boss says, "We don't have a cubicle available for you yet, Bruce." The Boss says, "So I'm declaring this part of the carpet to be your office." The Boss says, "If someone goes to a meeting, you can sneak into his cubicle and use the phone." The Boss says, "Our computer budget is gone, but we have an old monitor that you can put on top of your briefcase." Bruce says, "Can I put tape on the carpet to mark my boundary?" The Boss says, "That won't be necessary, thanks to this hi-tech device." Bruce says, "A dog collar?" The Boss puts the collar around Bruce's neck. The Boss says, "It will give a mild shock if you cross your invisible boundary." Alice says, "The new guy hasn't left that spot for a week." Dilbert says, "Wally taught him to beg for food."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 22, 2001's comic on:


Tags #$35 worth food, #15% tip, #penne pasta, #no log cabin, #build log cabin, #sitaution, #promise

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Dilbert looks at a menu in a restaurant and says, "Bring me $35 worth of food, including your 15% tip." The waitress reaches for his menu and asks, "If I bring you a penne pasta, will you promise not to build a log cabin on your plate?" Dilbert replies, "I can't promise that." The waitress says, "Well then, we have a situation here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 29, 2001's comic on:


Tags #anyone offers food, #dont eat, #fill in receptionist, #impression visitors, #face of company

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The Boss comes to Carol's desk and says, "Carol, I need you to fill in for our receptionist today." The Boss continues, "Remember, you will be the face of our company, the first impression for visitors." Carol is seen at the receptionist's desk. A visitor stands at the desk looking surprised as Carol says, "If anyone offers you food, don't eat it."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 17, 2001's comic on:


Tags #serve food, #homeless on christmas, #extra hungry, #one day, #news crews arrive

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Tina says to Dilbert, "I'm signing up volunteers to serve food to the homeless on Christmas day." Dilbert responds, "How do you know in advance that they'll be extra hungry on that one day?" Tina responds, "Our P.R. firm makes sure they don't get fed for two days before the news crews arrive."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 22, 2002's comic on:


Tags #junk mail, #smiling list, #letter of validation, #existence, #clean win

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Wally is holding his letter up to the light. Dilbert says, "I've never seen anyone get this excited over a piece of junk mail." Wally responds, "I've never been on a mailing list before. This letter is a validation of my existence." Dilbert says, "It's not addressed to you." Wally replies, "I'll grant you that it's not a clean win."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 23, 2002's comic on:


Tags #bulk mail, #first item, #junk mail, #morale skyrocketed, #remained unopned, #wm1, #walls letter, #only mail

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Wally says to The Boss and Dilbert, "My morale sky-rocketed when I received my first-ever item of bulk mail." Wally continues, "I have designated it 'WM1' for 'Wally's Mail One' and it shall remain forever unopened. The Boss says, "Bulk mail is the same as junk mail." Wally says to the letter, "Don't listen to his lies, WM1."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 13, 2002's comic on:


Tags #set up meeting, #customer, #technology, #humiliating, #poor, #fgreat food

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The Boss and Dilbert are still in barrels. The Boss says, "Set up a meeting with the customer so we can demonstrate our technology." Dilbert responds, "It's humiliating because we're so poor now. What will I feed them?" Dilbert pours cat food into bowls for the customers. He says, "If you think the food is great, wait until you see our technology!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 21, 2004's comic on:


Tags #hired feral employee, #inexpensive, #untrained, #eat food, #run away

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I hired a feral employee. "He's inexpensive because he's totally untrained." "Chomp" "Ouch!" "So far he knows how to eat food and run away."