Keep Professional Comic Strips - Page 3
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407 Results for Keep Professional
View 21 - 30 results for keep professional comic strips. Discover the best "Keep Professional" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday February 18,
1999
Tags #unprofessional, #thirty minutes, #six minutes, #too professional, #death to those who eat
Transcript
The boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice are in a meeting. The Boss says, "Anyone who takes more than thirty minutes for lunch is unprofessional." Wally says, "That's still too long! I say your unprofessional after six minutes!" The boss says, "That's a little too professional, Wally." Wally says, "Death to those who eat!!"
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Wednesday July 14,
1999
Tags #dogbert in hollywood, #book into movie, #keep real, #normal people, #watch movies
Transcript
Caption: "Dogbert in Hollywood" Dogbert sits at a restaurant table across from a naked movie executive wearing a goatee, glasses and boxer shorts on his head. The mogul says, "I'd like to turn your book into a movie." The executive says, "We have to keep it real, so any normal person can relate to it." Dogbert says, "do you know any normal people?" The movie man says, "No, but I'm willing to watch movies to learn about them."
Tuesday April 25,
2000
Tags #social misfits, #keep him away, #normal people, #engineering liason
Transcript
Dilbert sits at his computer working. The Boss approaches with a new employee. The Boss says to the new employee, "Dilbert is one of our social misfits." The Boss says to the new employee, "Your job is to keep him away from normal people." Dilbert, still facing his computer is obviously annoyed by what he is hearing. Unable to keep quiet, Dilbert yells without turning around, "Hello! I'm right here!" The Boss and the new employee unaffected by Dilbert's outburst, continue their conversation. The Boss says to the new employee, "Your title will be Engineering Liason."
Monday May 08,
2000
Tags #generic self help, #consultant, #keep a journal, #lead by example, #business
Transcript
Dogbert says to Dilbert as they sit together at the kitchen table, "I've decided to become a generic self-help consultant." Dogbert continues, "I'll tell people to keep a journal of all their thoughts. Then I'll bill them." Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How would that help anyone?" Dogbert replies, "I lead by example, my friend."
Wednesday May 30,
2001
Tags #ultimate tool, #mobile professional, #pda, #phone, #pager, #digital camera, #fax, #email, #laptop, #shredder, #clips belt, #too large, #everything
Transcript
The Boss leans across a table and says to Dilbert, "I found the ultimate tool for the mobile professional." The Boss leans down in order to get it. He continues, "It's a combination PDA, phone, pager, digital camera, fax, e-mail, laptop and shredder." The Boss produces a large gadget, half the size of him and puts it on the table. He says, "It clips right to my belt!"
Wednesday November 17,
2004
Tags #vendor, #couldn't say no, #customized, #our needs assembled and insalled, #preloathing, #promises you won't keep
Transcript
The vendor who couldn't say no, DIlbertL I need fifteen units bu tuesday. You got it, Dilbert: I want them customized for our needs assembled and installed by wednesday. You got it! Dilbert: Im loathing yo in advance for making promises you won't keep, Pre loathing I get that a lot,\.
Saturday July 02,
2005
Tags #shoddy mistakes, #meeting, #avoid mistakes, #documented process, #keep hearing, #business
Transcript
The Boss: "In order to avoid shoddy mistakes, everything we do from now on will be part of a documented process." Wally: "What documented process did you use to decide what documented process to use?" wally: "Or is this one of those shoddy mistakes I keep hearing about?"
Friday July 08,
2005
Tags #keep spitting, #disagree, #people, #happy, #crazy one, #men communication
Transcript
Dilbert: Do you think it's fair that you keep spitting on me just because you disagree with what I say? Girl: why am I the one who always has to change o make there people happy? Dilbert: Because you're the crazy one. girl: Now you're all quiet, why can't men learn to communicate.
Friday June 29,
2007
Tags #career counselor, #no marketable talent, #keep positive, #not going to change, #unemployable
Transcript
Dogbert, career counselor DOgbert: "You have no marketable talent." "You're totally unemployable and that's not going to change." "The important thing is to keep a positive attitude."
Sunday March 12,
2000
Tags #stirrup pants, #not professional, #filed patent, #50 million dollars, #earn license fees, #comapny, #various pant crises
Transcript
The Boss calls Alice as she is walking by: "Alice!" The Boss tells Alice: "Stirrup pants are not professional attire." Alice explains: "I just filed a patent that will earn fifty million in license fees for the company." The Boss is impressed: "Really? Wow." He continues: "But its no excuse for bad pants." Alice says: "Whatever. Did you sign the budget request I gave you last week?" The Boss answers: "No... I've been busy with various pant-related crises." The stirrup pants are pulled over the Boss's head. He thinks: "Here's another."