Keeping To Core Comic Strips - Page 3

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67 Results for Keeping To Core

View 21 - 30 results for keeping to core comic strips. Discover the best "Keeping To Core" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #core values, #integrity, #value, #honesty, #excellence, #inherent conflicts, #fund na dpassionate, #all of them, #hygiene

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The Boss: "Our core values are service, intergrity, respect, teamwork, responsibility, trust, diversity, value, honesty, fun, passion, fairness and excellence." wally: "How should we deal with the inherent conflicts? I mean, what if I want to be irresponsible in a fun and passionate way?" The Boss: "You have to do all of them." "I notice that hygiene didn't make the list.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #road map, #strengthen core, #real work, #manage, #waste inspiration

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The Boss: we need to follow our startegy road map and strengthen our core to become the provider of choice. Dilbert: Do you mind if I go do some real work whole you stay here and mange your brains out? Dilbert: I don't want to waste all of you inspiration you just gave me. Alice: snort.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #work ethic, #mission, #vision, #core values, #no clear direction, #inappropriate websites

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Wally: Our mission, vision, strategy, road map, and core values are not aligned. So instead of flailing around with no clear direction, I plan to spend my days looking at inappropriate websites. Yesterday, when you said, "Bring me solutions, not problems," I hope you meant it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #open door policy, #office, #look over shoulder, #suspicious, #core systems, #key processes, #pointless question, #act randomly

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Wally says, "What's more important- our core systems or our key processes?" Wally says, "If there's no clear answer to that question, I'll continue to act randomly." The Boss says, "Get out of my office." Wally says, "The open door policy probably looked good on paper."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #functions to outsorce, #dont do well, #management, #sales, #quality control, #core competenece, #brown table startegy, #business

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Dilbert points to a slide and says, "As requested, I put together a list of functions we should outsource." Dilbert continues, "I limited my list to things we don't do well." The Boss and Wally listen as Dilbert's voice continues, "Marketing, quality control, engineering, finance, human resources, and customer support." Dilbert says, "That leaves us with our core competence..." Dilbert continues, "... Sitting around a brown table." Dilbert says, "And, of course, our ability to speak honestly without fear of retribution." The Boss says, "You will never get another raise as long as I'm alive." Dilbert responds, "Well, that puts a lot of pressure on the brown table strategy."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #paying bills, #trees, #off site document, #storage costs, #out of control, #core bsuiness, #trees are jerks, #money

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Boss: Our off-site document storage costs are growing out of control. At this rate, our core business can be summarized as "put trees in jail." This is when you say something wise and helpful. CEO: Trees are jerks.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #big business, #business ethics, #obliviousness, #core competencies, #automating things, #worshipping stars quo, #steve jobs, #reanimated body, #making lapses, #fiduciary responsibility, #hearing what we want

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Dilbert: I did a study of our core competencies. It seems we're very good at automating things that we shouldn't be doing in the first place. But that's not all we're good at. We're also good at worshipping the status quo as if it were Steve Jobs' reanimated body. And no one is as good at masking lapses in fiduciary responsibility. Lastly, we're good at hearing what we want to hear. Boss: So... we're good at automating things?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #thinking, #secret to success, #keeping things simple, #absolute, #realtive, #alternatives

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Boss: The secret to success is keeping things simple. Dilbert: Do you mean simple in an absolute sense or relative to the alternatives? Boss: It depends on the situation. Dilbert: Sounds complicated.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #friendship, #gadgets, #mobile (cell) phones, #shoulder holder, #jealousy is attractive, #relationships

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Dilbert: I invented a shoulder holder for my phone. I felt bad keeping my best friend in my pocket. Jealousy in not attractive.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #job, #morning, #amnesia, #waking up, #screaming

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Dilbert sits up in bed and thinks, "Ugh . . . What time is it? . . . Where am I? . . . Who am I?" Dilbert thinks, "Must be morning . . . Is this a work day? Do I have a job? . . . Is it worth getting up for?" Dilbert sits on the edge of the bed and thinks, "'Morning amnesia': nature's way of keeping you from waking up screaming."