Key Grip Comic Strips - Page 3
Search Filters
Year
- 2023
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
103 Results for Key Grip
View 21 - 30 results for key grip comic strips. Discover the best "Key Grip" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday August 26,
2003
Tags million lines of code, irrelevent data, key your car, no choice
Transcript
The Boss: "Our new product has half a million lines of code!" "Translation: there's nothing good about this product, so you hope I'm impressed by irrelevant data." "Now available in ecru!" "You leave me no choice but to key your car on the way out."
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday August 30,
2003
Tags key board, not unique, carol adjusts, making no sense
Transcript
The Boss: My keyboard looks exactly like everyone else's. The Boss: I need more of a management key board with special keys and that sort of thing. Carol: And the "{" becomes the newly discovered letter.
Wednesday October 08,
2003
Tags profitability, year 3, key revenue, comet strike oil, crashes through wall, abstractions, presentation
Transcript
Dilbert: "As requested, I wrote the business plan to show profitability by year three." Dilbert: "The key revenue assumption is that an armored car crashes through that wall and spills its contents." "And don't stand where the comet is assumed to strike oil."
Saturday December 04,
2004
Tags biggest customer, key to learning, fire, trust anyone
Transcript
The Boss: "Wally, did you tell our biggest customer that everyone here except you is an escaped felon?" Wally: "Maybe." The Boss: "Now I can't fire you because they don't trust anyone else." wally: "The key learning here is that alleged crime doesn't pay." the boss; "I've never been caught!"
Monday December 20,
2004
Tags online ereume, older chubby men, key words, married men, job offers, cousin, Advice, one line job hunting
Transcript
"I wasn't getting any responses to my online resume until I inserted some key words." "I said I'm strangely attracted to older, chubby, married men with coffee-stained teeth." "That is wrong on so many levels." "Explain that to my six thousand job offers."
Friday April 29,
2005
Tags disbale cahe mode, duplicate key, engineer, helping coowrker, technical work, understand, engineering
Transcript
ALICE: "Just disable the local cache mode to fix the MAPI settings, and delete the duplicate messaging sub-system registry key." TINA: "What if I don't understand anything you said right then? ALICE: Good grief! I can't make it any simpler!" TINA: "GAAA!!!" ALICE: "It's funny because it's cruel."
Thursday July 12,
2007
Tags dinner set up, key, everyone invited, expect carol, key employees, mints
Transcript
The Boss: "Carol, set up a dinner for all key employees." Carol: "Which ones are key?" "That would be everyone except um...you." "I curse your dinner!" "I'll bring you some mints...if they have extras."
Wednesday September 19,
2012
Tags work ethic, key to success, knowing when to quit
Transcript
CEO: Persistence is the key to success. The other key is knowing when to quit. Dilbert: The right time for you was one sentence sooner.
Tuesday November 20,
2012
Tags prosperity, persistence, key to success, know when to quit, contardcitory, flexibilty
Transcript
Boss: Persistence is the key to success. The other key to success is knowing when to quit. Dilbert: Your advice is contradictory nonsense. Boss: Because flexibility is the key to success.
Thursday June 03,
2010
Tags open door policy, office, look over shoulder, suspicious, core systems, key processes, pointless question, act randomly
Transcript
Wally says, "What's more important- our core systems or our key processes?" Wally says, "If there's no clear answer to that question, I'll continue to act randomly." The Boss says, "Get out of my office." Wally says, "The open door policy probably looked good on paper."