Key Boards Replaced Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

137 Results for Key Boards Replaced

View 21 - 30 results for key boards replaced comic strips. Discover the best "Key Boards Replaced" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anti spam software, #incoming email, #key words, #advertisement, #accidental emails, #sale

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at his computer typing, Dogbert is sitting on the desk on top of a sheet of paper. Dilbert says: "My anti-spam software is complete." Dilbert says: "It checks my incoming e-mail for key words." Dilbert says: "Then it deletes anything that looks like an advertisement." Dogbert says: "Suppose a beatiful woman sends you a message saying..." Dogbert says: "I am a model for Victoria's Secret. I want to date you on my sailboat." Dogbert says: "But she spells sail s-a-l-e." "What then?" Dilbert stares at the computer. Dilbert asks Dogbert: "What's she wearing?"

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #key card, #tailgate, #network password, #voicemail, #stop working

View Transcript

Transcript

An employee says, "What a day I'm having. First my key card doesn't work, so I have to tailgate into the building." The employee continues, "Then my network password doesn't work. Now my voicemail doesn't work!" The Boss grins as the employee continues, "Is it possible for anything else to stop working today?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #senior management knows, #key employees, #hard imes, #bonuses, #black mailing themselves, #sound bad, #huge retention

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Senior management knows they need to retain key employees during hard times." The Boss continues, "That's why they're giving themselves huge retention bonuses." Alice responds, "So, they're blackmailing themselves?" The Boss says, "You can make anything sound bad."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #million lines of code, #irrelevent data, #key your car, #no choice

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Our new product has half a million lines of code!" "Translation: there's nothing good about this product, so you hope I'm impressed by irrelevant data." "Now available in ecru!" "You leave me no choice but to key your car on the way out."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #key board, #not unique, #carol adjusts, #making no sense

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: My keyboard looks exactly like everyone else's. The Boss: I need more of a management key board with special keys and that sort of thing. Carol: And the "{" becomes the newly discovered letter.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #profitability, #year 3, #key revenue, #comet strike oil, #crashes through wall, #abstractions, #presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "As requested, I wrote the business plan to show profitability by year three." Dilbert: "The key revenue assumption is that an armored car crashes through that wall and spills its contents." "And don't stand where the comet is assumed to strike oil."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #biggest customer, #key to learning, #fire, #trust anyone

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Wally, did you tell our biggest customer that everyone here except you is an escaped felon?" Wally: "Maybe." The Boss: "Now I can't fire you because they don't trust anyone else." wally: "The key learning here is that alleged crime doesn't pay." the boss; "I've never been caught!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #online ereume, #older chubby men, #key words, #married men, #job offers, #cousin, #Advice, #one line job hunting

View Transcript

Transcript

"I wasn't getting any responses to my online resume until I inserted some key words." "I said I'm strangely attracted to older, chubby, married men with coffee-stained teeth." "That is wrong on so many levels." "Explain that to my six thousand job offers."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #disbale cahe mode, #duplicate key, #engineer, #helping coowrker, #technical work, #understand, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

ALICE: "Just disable the local cache mode to fix the MAPI settings, and delete the duplicate messaging sub-system registry key." TINA: "What if I don't understand anything you said right then? ALICE: Good grief! I can't make it any simpler!" TINA: "GAAA!!!" ALICE: "It's funny because it's cruel."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinner set up, #key, #everyone invited, #expect carol, #key employees, #mints

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Carol, set up a dinner for all key employees." Carol: "Which ones are key?" "That would be everyone except um...you." "I curse your dinner!" "I'll bring you some mints...if they have extras."