Know Anything Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for know anything comic strips. Discover the best "Know Anything" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #testing, #theory, #advertising, #sell, #anything, #asked, #thing, #least, #desired, #earth, #ladies, #date, #quantities, #men and women

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper. Dogbert enters and says, "I'm testing my theory that good advertising can sell anything." Dogbert continues, "So I asked myself 'What is the thing LEAST desired on earth?'" A woman looks at a billboard with Dilbert's picture on it. The billboard says, "Ladies! Date a Dilbert call 510-803-9338. Quantities are limited." The woman says, "Hmm . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #hypnotic, #powers, #supreme, #earth, #computer, #satellite

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Dogbert stands on the desk chair and says into a camera, "This is Dogbert . . . You are all under my hypnotic powers . . ." A satellite dish sits on the desk. Dogbert transmits to a satellite orbiting earth, "I am the supreme ruler of earth. You must all carry Dogbert posters and chant 'Dogbert is my king.'" Dogbert concludes, "That is all for now. If I think of anything else important I'll let you know." Ratbert enters holding a sign with Dogbert's picture on it and chanting, ". . . Is my king."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #alice, #business meeting

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The Boss, Dilbert, Alice and another employee sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Does anybody have any questions about our plan? Ask me anything - there are no 'stupid' questions." A man asks, "If you crossed the international date line on your birthday, would you still get presents?" The Boss thinks, "Oh great . . . There ARE stupid questions and I don't know the answers."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #less you know, #happier, #struggle, #computer, #naked, #clueless, #annoying, #feeling good, #technology

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RatBert: "The less you know, the happier you are." "While you struggle with that computer, I'm naked, clueless and f-e-e-e-ling good!" Dilbert: "You're really annoying me now." Ratbert: "Totally naked! Isn't that a hoot?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #inflation eating, #no real opportunity, #other compnaies, #downsizing, #miss the 80s, #get away with anything

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The Boss: "You've got inflation eating you from the bottom...and no real opportunity for a promotion." "And as long as all the other companies are downsizing too, you have no leverage. I can get away with anything!" Dilbert: "I miss the eighties." The Boss: "Does this hurt?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #difference, #entire day, #hamster on wheel, #new assignements, #finish work, #explaining

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Dilbert: I spent the entire day getting new assignments which left no time to actually work on anything. Dilbert: Tomorrow I'll spend the entire day explaining why I didn't finish yesterdays work. Sometimes I don't know the difference between me and hamster on a wheel. Dogbert: Hamsters dont depress me.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #laptop in case, #anything lighter, #delete files, #technically

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The Boss carries a laptop in a case. He says to Wally, "This laptop computer weighs too much. Do we have anything lighter?" Wally asks, "Why don't you just delete files to lower the weight on that one?" As he works on the laptop the Boss says, "That's a thought." Wally says, "Technically, I only asked why not."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #records retention, #valuable documents, #stored, #so much easier, #asks for anything

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Dilbert approaches a door that is labeled, "Records Retention." In the Records Retention Office, Dilbert hands a pile of documents to the librarian and says, "These valuable documents should be stored for five years." As he throws the documents in the trash bin, the librarian thinks, "This job got so much easier when I realized that nobody ever asks for anything back."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nest paper towels, #call 911, #never know, #would have worked

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Dilbert is standing in front of the copying machine. Reaching inside the copier, a man says, "Here's the problem. We've got a whole nest of paper trolls." The man yells as he is being pulled into the machine, "AAIIEE!" Dilbert thinks, "If I call 911 now I'll never know if the lower paper tray would have worked."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #more proactive, #fires dilbert, #doesn't know why

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The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "From now on I'm going to be more proactive." The Boss screams, "You're fired!!" Dilbert's tie and hair fly up in shock. Dilbert turns around and asks, "For what??" The Boss replies, "I don't know yet. That's the problem with being proactive."