Lawyers Comic Strips - Page 3
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28 Results for Lawyers
View 21 - 28 results for lawyers comic strips. Discover the best "Lawyers" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday December 17,
2002
Tags work to death, six months, mentally incompetent, remove name, beneficiaries
Transcript
Headline: Estate Planning. Dilbert is in a lawyer's office. He says to the lawyer, "I expect to work myself to death in six months, so I need a will." The lawyer asks, "Are you mentally incompetent?" Dilbert responds, "I don't think so." The lawyer says, "Okay then, I'll remove my name from the list of beneficiaries."
Wednesday May 24,
2006
Friday August 29,
2008
Tags finished contract, miocene epoch, hoof fossil, signature, rushed
Transcript
A lawyer says, "I just finished a contract I started during the Miocene epoch." The lawyer says, "...Assuming this hoof fossil is a signature." The lawyers says, "These things can't be rushed."
Wednesday September 09,
2009
Tags analysis, idea, suggestion, complaining, Advice, greed, science
Transcript
Dilbert says, "According to my analysis, all future ideas are already covered by over-general patents." Dilbert says, "Our best strategy is to get out of this business and become trademark infringement lawyers." The boss says, "I don't know how to be a lawyer." Catbert says, "That only matters if you take cases on a contingency basis."
Sunday August 11,
2013
Tags frustration, lawyers, software, license, legal dept, services, email, open source, definsition, forge signature, software license, engineering
Transcript
Boss: Can you approve the purchase of this software? Boss: You need to run the software license past legal first. Lawyer: You need to fill out a legal services request form. I'll email it to you. Make sure you specify whether the software is open source or not. Dilbert: How would I know if it meets your definition of open source? Lawyer: It depends how the license is written. You'll need to ask legal to review it. Dilbert: Never mind. I'll just forge your signature on the form. Lawyer: Maybe this is why I've never seen a software license.
Wednesday August 20,
2014
Tags language, lawyers, simple business deal, best work, backyard
Transcript
Lawyer: I turned your simple business deal into a flaming pile of excrement. It's some of my best work. I don't even understand it myself. Boss: Look what just landed in your backyard. Company Lawyer
Monday August 24,
2015
Robots Read News Of Supreme Court Ruling
Tags supreme court, partisan politics, engineers, morals, legislation, conservatism, liberal, guilt, innocence
Transcript
Robots Read News. Robot: The Supreme Court ruled that engineers cannot be found guilty of murder. Lawyers argued that any good engineer knows how to get away with murder, so getting caught is proof of innocence. The ruling was unanimous because no one could figure out which side was the liberal one.
Saturday June 22,
2019
Lawyer Can't Be Too Careful
Tags business, lawyers, office, agreement, legalese
Transcript
company lawyer: i made seven hundred suggested changes to the agreement. dilbert: you have turned a good income opportunity into a flaming cesspool of impenetrable legalese. company lawyer: you can't be too careful. dilbert: i think you just proved we can.
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