Layoff Planning Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

114 Results for Layoff Planning

View 21 - 30 results for layoff planning comic strips. Discover the best "Layoff Planning" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 25, 1999's comic on:


Tags #the turnaround ceo, #work of 10 people, #strategic planning, #traitorous mole

View Transcript

Transcript

The Turnaround CEO Dilbert is standing in front of the CEO's desk saying, "If you let me keep my job, I'll do the work of ten people." The CEO looks like the devil. Dilbert goes on, "Specifically, it would be the ten people in our strategic planning group." Dilbert says, "They don't do much." The CEO replies, "I'd like you to be my traitorous mole."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 11, 2000's comic on:


Tags #planning weddings, #temporary zombie division, #raising babies, #divorcing, #took dog, #good places booked

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss approaches a worker who is sitting in front of her computer, arms outstretched and eyes fixed. The boss says, "Helen, I'm transferring you to the temporary zombie division." Pushing Helen along, the boss says, "You will be with other people who are planning weddings, raising babies and divorcing." Helen is amid other zombie like workers, all with outstretched arms. A worker says, "She took my dog." Helen says, "All the good places are booked."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 13, 2000's comic on:


Tags #marketing to planning meeting, #sabotage implementation, #hose the plan, #implementation, #same reason for children

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert is at the Boss's desk. The Boss tells Dilbert: "Don't invite marketing to the planning meeting." Dilbert replies: "If I don't, they'll sabotage the implementation." The Boss says: "Yes, but if you DO include them in the planning..." Dilbert finishes the Boss's thought: "...they'll hose the plan?" The Boss confirms Dilbert's statement: "Exactly." The Boss continues: "And they'll still botch the implementation." Dilbert asks: "If we know it's doomed, why do we bother?" The Boss answers: "It's the same reason I had kids." Dilbert thinks to himself while walking away: "At least there is a reason."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 18, 2002's comic on:


Tags #estate planning, #probate costs, #create living trust, #lawyers, #witty observation

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Estate Planning. The lawyer says to Dilbert, "You can avoid probate costs by creating a living trust." Dilbert replies, "So.. I can use an inconvenient system created by lawyers to avoid a worse system created by lawyers?" The lawyer points to his watch and says, "According to my watch, that witty observation cost you four dollars."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 27, 2004's comic on:


Tags #issue, #misleading, #explination, #understand, #planning on listening

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Tell me again what the issue is. Dilbert: do you want the simple but misleading explanation or the one you won't understand. The Boss: either one is good; I wasn't planning on listening,

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 25, 1999's comic on:


Tags #the hindenburg, #famous cigar shaped ballon, #thank alice, #theme, #choosing, #planning, #event, #enjoy film, #hidenburg, #the humanity, #detonate

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss standsa at a podium dressed in a costume that includes a large blimp attached to his head. The boss says, "Welcome..." The boss says, "To our annual employee meeting." Dilbert, Alice and Wally dressed in casual clothes listen. The boss says, "Our theme this year is "The hindenburg." The boss says, "...which I'm told was a famous cigar shaped balloon." The boss says, "Let's all thank Alice for choosing the theme and planning the event. Wally and Dilbert clap. The boss says, "Now please enjoy this film clip of the Hindenberg" The boss watches shocked. From the TV, "AAAgh! The humanity!" Wally says, "He's coming for you. Detonate his costume." Alice who holds a radio control says, "One, two..."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 16, 2005's comic on:


Tags #teds shower, #baby shower, #taxes, #subsidize, #put five, #poor fiscal planning

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I'm collecting money for Ted's baby shower. Wally: "My taxes already subsidized his other brats. I'm taking a refund." Carol: "I just put that five in there!" Wally: "I can't be responsible for your poor fiscal planning."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 27, 2005's comic on:


Tags #stealth layoff, #evil director, #human resources, #worthless employees, #job no longer exists, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "I call it a stealth layoff." "We move all of the worthless employees to the same project. When it's done, we tell them that their jobs no longer exist." "I don't like the look of this."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 29, 2009's comic on:


Tags #talking, #retirement, #planning, #drinking, #coffee, #pessimistic

View Transcript

Transcript

Retirement planning in a bad economy Wally says, "Retirement planning is all about timing." Wally says, "I'm planning to die from global warming on the same day I run out of money." Wally says, "That's one more advantage of being frail. I figure an hour without sunscreen ought to do the trick."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 31, 2007's comic on:


Tags #firing, #let go, #no money, #budget, #typo, #request, #planning reward, #hard work

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Ted, I have to let you go, but there's a good reason." "There's no money to pay your salary because I made a typo in my budget request." "Until then, I was totally planning to reward your hard work."