Lazy Imposter Comic Strips - Page 3
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110 Results for Lazy Imposter
View 21 - 30 results for lazy imposter comic strips. Discover the best "Lazy Imposter" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday June 06,
1999
Tags #email two copies, #fax, #green paper, #email, #files, #hard copy, #internet, #motivation gone, #losing consciousness, #lazy employees, #technology
Transcript
Dilbert stands at the boss' desk. The boss says, "e-mail two copies to me when you're done." Dilbert says, "Two copies? It's e0mail." The boss says, "So?" Dilbert says, "Never mind. I'll e-mail two copies." The boss says, "and fax a copy in green paper for my files." Dilbert says, "Green? It's a fax!" The boss walks Dilbert out of his office and says, "And bring me a hard copy of the internet so I can do some serious surfing." Dilbert begins to faint in the doorway. Dilbert thinks, "Motivation.... gonve.. losing consciousness.." Dilber joins the pile of passed out employess by the boss' door. The boss thinks, "How did I end up with all the lazy employees?"
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Friday April 22,
2005
Tags #computer freeze, #possible fixes, #possible combination, #no guaretntee, #lazy
Transcript
Hello. My crashinbox computer keeps freezing up. "There are 25 possible fixes but they must be tried in every combination." "That's 625 things I'd have to try with no guarantee that any of it will work." "So you're saying you're lazy."
Wednesday May 11,
2005
Tags #associate with, #cjhose, #associate, #lazy people, #new guy
Transcript
The New Employee "Maybe if I make a friend at work it will reduce my stress hump." "I must choose carefully because I will be judged by the people I associate with." "Hi. I'm the new guy." "The lazy people have found each other."
Thursday June 09,
2005
Tags #good people quit, #wretched, #incompetent, #lazy
Transcript
wally: "Have you ever noticed all of the good people quit?" Dilbert: "There's no one left her bu wretched, incompetent, lazy miscreants" wally: "A-A-nyhoo."
Wednesday September 12,
2012
Tags #complaining, #work ethic, #such back, #due dates, #lazy, #incompetent, #busy, #root cause
Transcript
Coworker: I need to give you some push-back on these due dates. Dilbert: No problem. Should I tell the others you're lazy, or incompetent, or in over your head? Coworker: How about just "busy?" Dilbert: Okay. I will insist that people ignore the root cause.
Thursday September 20,
2012
Tags #anger, #laziness, #socially contagious, #lazy vibe, #killing motivation, #angry
Transcript
Studies show that attitudes are socially contagious. I'm getting a lazy vibe from this idiot. It's totally killing my motivation. Oh, great. Now I'm unmotivated and angry, too.
Tuesday October 30,
2012
Tags #controlling gaze, #lazy, #management experts, #managers & supervisors, #one on one meetings, #regular does, #theiveing, #underlings, #work ethic, #toxic saboteur, #business
Transcript
Boss: Management experts say bosses should have frequent one-on-one meeting with underlings. Apparently, you need regular doses of my controlling gaze to prevent you from evolving into a lazy, thieving, toxic saboteur. Carol: It's working great. So far I feel less lazy about doing the other things you mentioned.
Tuesday November 27,
2012
Tags #gadgets, #laziness, #mobile (cell) phones, #smartphone business, #strangles, #lazy
Transcript
CEO: We're going into the smartphone business. Smartphones are basically gadgets, and we already make gadgets, so how hard could it be? Dilbert: If you strangle me now, I promise I won't resist. Boss: That sounds lazy.
Saturday January 26,
2008
Tags #job interview, #fat and lazy, #safe working, #thrive on abuse, #complain, #remove tongue, #begging, #desparate
Transcript
Albanian: If you hire me, I will do all the jobs that the people born in this country are too fat and lazy to do. I don't require a safe working environment, and I thrive on abuse! The Boss: Do you complain much?" Albanian: I'll remove my own tongue and give it to you in a pickle jar for boss's day.
Wednesday December 15,
2010
Tags #new goatee, #mankly, #intellectual, #lazy, #saw a flea
Transcript
Wally says, "Does my new goatee make me look manly and intellectual at the same time?" Dilbert says, "It makes you look too lazy to shave around your lips." Dilbert says, "And I think I saw a flea." Wally says, "Yeah. That one is resistant to soup."