Leave To Heir Comic Strips - Page 3
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269 Results for Leave To Heir
View 21 - 30 results for leave to heir comic strips. Discover the best "Leave To Heir" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday November 29,
2000
Tags #cpr, #take kidney, #leave in ice, #strip him, #save him
Transcript
Dilbert, Catbert and The Boss look at Asok the Intern's legs sticking straight up in the air. Dilbert asks, "Asok is down. Does anyone know CPR?" The Boss says to Dilbert, "Is CPR the one where we take his kidney and leave him in a tub of ice?" Dilbert says to The Boss, "Um... I don't think so." The Boss says, "We'd better strip him and shave him just in case."
Monday February 12,
2001
Tags #greedy boss, #huge growth earnings, #mean boss, #miss growth, #poised, #stock options vest, #unrelated move, #leave company
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "Our CEO says we are poised for huge growth in earnings." The Boss continues, "In an unrelated move, he announced that he will leave the company before any of his stock options vest." Wally and Dilbert look horrified and their ties fly up in front of their faces as The Boss says, "The poor guy will miss all of our growth."
Wednesday April 24,
2002
Tags #new reality, #leave reality, #don't like leave
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "It's a new reality. If you don't like it, you can leave!" Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Question: How can we leave reality? Aren't we always in it by definition?" Dilbert looks around and sees that everyone around him is asleep. He says, "Never mind.. apparently everyone else knew what you meant."
Friday July 05,
2002
Tags #improve morale, #want drinking enough, #coffee meetings, #never leave table
Transcript
The Boss says to Wally, "I'm having these coffee meetings to find out how I can improve morale." Wally responds, "My only problem was that I wasn't drinking enough coffee with you. So now I'm good, thanks." Wally continues, "Promise me you'll never leave this table. I can't go back to the way things were."
Thursday November 14,
2002
Tags #short timer, #refuse to leave, #motorized wheel chair, #lift me, #drag to curb
Transcript
Headline: The Short-Timer. Asok asks the short-timer, "How will you leave if you refuse to use any major muscle groups until retirement?" The short-timer responds, "I'm hoping someone will buy me a motorized wheelchair and lift me into it." Asok says, "I would be willing to drag you to the curb." The short-timer responds, "Face up?"
Monday April 14,
2003
Tags #leave work early, #don't walk past, #office of boss, #just from roof, #land in dumpster, #leadership, #cut throat
Transcript
The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our VP is mad because people are leaving work too early." The Boss turns to Alice and says, "If you need to leave early, don't walk past his office. Go to the roof and leap into the 'dumpster' in the alley." The VP sits smugly in his office and thinks, "Leadership triumphs again." Alice can be seen through the window behind him jumping off the roof into the dumpster.
Thursday April 08,
2004
Tags #borrow chair, #leave callateral, #financial officer
Transcript
Financial officer: "May I borrow your chair for a meeting?" Dilbert: "Okay, but leave your wallet, keys, company ID, and one shoe with me." Financial officer: "I'm your chief financial officer." Dilbert: "Then I also need your PDA and one sock."
Tuesday October 26,
2004
Tags #Kids, #turned out fine, #leave early, #how many kids
Transcript
Man: Do you mind if I leave early to spend some time with my kids? The Boss: I never spent time with my kids and they turned out fine! How many do you have? The Boss: threeish.
Tuesday April 04,
2006
Tags #team building exercise, #security gurad, #middle of desert, #leave you there
Transcript
"Ted, I'm sending you on a team-building exercise." "A security guard will drive you to the middle of the desert and leave you there!" "And then the team will rescue me?" "Sure."
Sunday May 28,
2000
Tags #fake surveillance camera, #chepaer, #discourage thefts, #treat employees like criminals, #leave
Transcript
Dilbert walks by an open office door and hears, "Pssst!" Dilbert walks in and says, "Yes?" The Boss says, "Come in and shut the door." The Boss continues, "I bought a fake video surveillance camera." The Boss holds the Boss and says, "Install it in the break room tonight." The Boss continues, "It's cheaper than a real camera and it will discourage thefts." Dilbert says, "If you treat employees like criminals, they'll leave." The Boss says, "Good point. You'd better hide the fake camera so no one knows it's there." Dilbert puts the box in the trash and walks away whistling."