Leave Callateral Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

259 Results for Leave Callateral

View 21 - 30 results for leave callateral comic strips. Discover the best "Leave Callateral" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 09, 2000's comic on:


Tags #poach employees, #leave comapny, #wink wink, #moron

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert, "I'm not allowed to poach employees if I leave this company." The Boss continues as he winks at Dilbert, "But there's no law against you asking me for a job...wink...wink." The Boss begins yelling, "I'm not going to wink all day you moron!"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 2000's comic on:


Tags #cpr, #take kidney, #leave in ice, #strip him, #save him

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert, Catbert and The Boss look at Asok the Intern's legs sticking straight up in the air. Dilbert asks, "Asok is down. Does anyone know CPR?" The Boss says to Dilbert, "Is CPR the one where we take his kidney and leave him in a tub of ice?" Dilbert says to The Boss, "Um... I don't think so." The Boss says, "We'd better strip him and shave him just in case."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 12, 2001's comic on:


Tags #greedy boss, #huge growth earnings, #mean boss, #miss growth, #poised, #stock options vest, #unrelated move, #leave company

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "Our CEO says we are poised for huge growth in earnings." The Boss continues, "In an unrelated move, he announced that he will leave the company before any of his stock options vest." Wally and Dilbert look horrified and their ties fly up in front of their faces as The Boss says, "The poor guy will miss all of our growth."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 24, 2002's comic on:


Tags #new reality, #leave reality, #don't like leave

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "It's a new reality. If you don't like it, you can leave!" Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Question: How can we leave reality? Aren't we always in it by definition?" Dilbert looks around and sees that everyone around him is asleep. He says, "Never mind.. apparently everyone else knew what you meant."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 05, 2002's comic on:


Tags #improve morale, #want drinking enough, #coffee meetings, #never leave table

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Wally, "I'm having these coffee meetings to find out how I can improve morale." Wally responds, "My only problem was that I wasn't drinking enough coffee with you. So now I'm good, thanks." Wally continues, "Promise me you'll never leave this table. I can't go back to the way things were."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2002's comic on:


Tags #short timer, #refuse to leave, #motorized wheel chair, #lift me, #drag to curb

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: The Short-Timer. Asok asks the short-timer, "How will you leave if you refuse to use any major muscle groups until retirement?" The short-timer responds, "I'm hoping someone will buy me a motorized wheelchair and lift me into it." Asok says, "I would be willing to drag you to the curb." The short-timer responds, "Face up?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 2003's comic on:


Tags #leave work early, #don't walk past, #office of boss, #just from roof, #land in dumpster, #leadership, #cut throat

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss addresses a meeting, "Our VP is mad because people are leaving work too early." The Boss turns to Alice and says, "If you need to leave early, don't walk past his office. Go to the roof and leap into the 'dumpster' in the alley." The VP sits smugly in his office and thinks, "Leadership triumphs again." Alice can be seen through the window behind him jumping off the roof into the dumpster.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 26, 2004's comic on:


Tags #Kids, #turned out fine, #leave early, #how many kids

View Transcript

Transcript

Man: Do you mind if I leave early to spend some time with my kids? The Boss: I never spent time with my kids and they turned out fine! How many do you have? The Boss: threeish.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 04, 2006's comic on:


Tags #team building exercise, #security gurad, #middle of desert, #leave you there

View Transcript

Transcript

"Ted, I'm sending you on a team-building exercise." "A security guard will drive you to the middle of the desert and leave you there!" "And then the team will rescue me?" "Sure."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 28, 2000's comic on:


Tags #fake surveillance camera, #chepaer, #discourage thefts, #treat employees like criminals, #leave

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert walks by an open office door and hears, "Pssst!" Dilbert walks in and says, "Yes?" The Boss says, "Come in and shut the door." The Boss continues, "I bought a fake video surveillance camera." The Boss holds the Boss and says, "Install it in the break room tonight." The Boss continues, "It's cheaper than a real camera and it will discourage thefts." Dilbert says, "If you treat employees like criminals, they'll leave." The Boss says, "Good point. You'd better hide the fake camera so no one knows it's there." Dilbert puts the box in the trash and walks away whistling."