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Dogbert, Dilbert, Alice, Wally and the Boss sit at a round table. Dogbert says, "In this team-building exercise you will make paper dolls while blindfolded." Dogbert continues, "This may seem absurd. But soon, cognitive dissonance will set in and you'll cry and hug and think you learned something." The members of the group, now blindfolded and working with scissors, begin their work. As he is about to cut his hand with the scissors, Dilbert asks, "Are you sure we'll cry and hug?" Dogbert answers, "Actually, hugging is iffy."
Dilbert sits in his cubicle thinking, "I need to think 'outside the box' to come up with a creative design . . ." Dilbert pushes his chair outside his cubicle and continues thinking, "I push my chair into the hallway to change my viewpoint and stimulate my creative juices." The Boss approaches and Dilbert thinks, "Suddenly my juice dries up." The Boss points at Dilbert and says, "You're a fire hazard. Do your thinking inside your box."
Dilbert sits at his desk with a telephone in his hand. A voice on the phone says, "Press 'One' for sales. Press 'Two' in a hopeless effort to get technical support." Dilbert presses "2." The voice on the phone continues, "Press 'One' for answers to questions you don't have. Press 'Two' if you're gullible and optimistic." Dilbert presses "2." The voice on the phone says, "Press 'Two' if you're willing to buy something just so you can talk to a human being . . ." Dilbert puts the phone on the desk and raises a mallet to strike it.
The Boss pokes his head into Ted's office and asks, "How do you like being a manager, Ted?" Ted replies, "Yesterday my staff pushed me down ten flights of stairs. My soul left my body and now I'm a lifeless evil entity." The Boss says, "Just in time to do performance reviews!" Ted responds, "I couldn't have planned it better."
Dogbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, "Here's my invoice for fixing your 'Year 2000' computer problems." The Boss screams so loud that Dogbert is thrown from the office. Back at home, Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dilbert says, ". . . So his head spun, but it DIDN'T explode?" Dogbert replies, "Yeah. I guess I left some money on the table."
Dilbert tells the Boss, "I've heard that some primitive cultures had no mathematical concept of 'zero.'" Dilbert continues, "Sometimes I think you're like that when I tell you I have zero time left for additional work." The caption says, "The conversation went downhill from there." Dilbert screams, "No, that's 'Zorro.' You're NOT like Zorro."
Ratbert stands in front of a dry erase board and says, "Your strategy options can be shown in this matrix." Dilbert and the Boss sit at a conference table listening to the presentation. Ratbert continues, "The four boxes are 'Something . . . Something . . . Some other thing and whatever.'" Ratbert continues, "In phase two I hope to turn this matrix into concentric circles with labels and arrows." The Boss thinks, "I'm under the consultant's spell."
Dogbert listens to an in-duh-vidual who says, "The Internet should be free. Why should I have to pay some greedy corporation or look at ads??!!" Dogbert says, "I will now use this cardboard tube to explain the intricacies of capitalism." The in-duh-vidual lies on the floor with stars floating around his head. Dogbert says, "Lesson One: This was something that should be free.
Dilbert sits in an easy chair using his laptop computer. Dogbert stands on a side table and wags his tail. He says, "I'm going into the sports memorabilia business." Dogbert tosses a baseball in his hand and says, "I've heard that most autographs are forgeries, so my initial investment will be low." Dogbert says, "Can I interest you in a baseball signed by Moses?" Dilbert says, "Wow! That's going to be worth something."
Dilbert holds an issue of Playgirl featuring Dogbert on the cover. Dogbert wears black dress socks and nothing else, except his silly putty beauty tumor. Dilbert says, "How does it feel to be a sex symbol?" Dogbert says, "Good." Dogbert sits on the arm of the couch wagging his tail and says, "I realized that what's inside a person doesn't count because no one can see it." Dilbert says, "I didn't realize you were such a philosopher." Dogbert says, "That's my point!"