Level City Comic Strips - Page 3
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109 Results for Level City
View 21 - 30 results for level city comic strips. Discover the best "Level City" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday December 07,
1997
Tags #weekly, #wally status report, #process pride, #impact on earnings, #pride in results, #high level, #morale, #pride in process
Transcript
The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conferance table. Wally says, "It is my pleasure to present the weekly 'Wally status report'." Wally says, "This week I developed what I call 'process pride'." Wally says, "It all started when I realized that I have no impact on earnings." Wally says, "Obviously I can't take pride in the RESULTS of my work." Dilbert says, "Obviously." Wally says, "But I need pride. Otherwise, how could Imantain my high level of morale?" Wally says, "So I learned to take pride in my processes instead of my results." Wally says, "Everything I do is still pointless. But I am very proud of the way I do it." The Boss says, "Is that all you did this week?" Wally says, "Hey, I'm only one person."
Wednesday June 21,
2000
Tags #insulted, #same level, #attractness, #hot sexy car, #electric car
Transcript
Ming says to Dilbert, "Frankly, I'm insulted that you asked me out." Ming continues, "It means you think we're about the same level of attractiveness." Ming then says to Dilbert, "You'd better have one heckuva sexy car." Dilbert replies, "It's electric."
Saturday April 14,
2001
Tags #four hundred features, #level of complexity, #easy to use
Transcript
Dilbert is talking to a worker. Holding a list, Dilbert says, "Your user requirements include four hundred features." Dilbert continues, "Do you realize that no human would be able to use a product with that level of complexity?" The worker says, "Good point. I'd better add 'easy to use' to the list."
Thursday August 23,
2001
Tags #mismatch, #improve yourself, #my level, #gaining weight, #terrible haircut, #few teeth, #wear stained clothes, #tobacco
Transcript
Dilbert and the woman from the gym are walking outside. The woman says, "We're such a mismatch that I doubt you'll ever improve yourself all the way to my level." She continues, "Maybe I could meet you in the middle by gaining thirty pounds and getting a terrible haircut." Dilbert and the woman sit on the bank of the river. She continues, "...Knock out a few teeth, wear stained clothes, chew tobacco..."
Monday June 16,
2003
Tags #international sales call, #dress, #one level above customer, #cherub, #lighting bolt, #vatican, #overdress
Transcript
Dilbert is sitting at his computer. The Boss approaches and says, "I need you to go on an international sales call." Dilbert asks, "How should I dress?" The Boss responds, "Salespeople should dress one level above the customer." Dilbert is dressed like God. He has a lightning bolt in one hand and a cherub staff in the other. He asks Dogbert, "What's better - the cherub or the lightning bolt?" Dogbert responds, "Take both. You can't overdress at the vatican."
Tuesday November 04,
2003
Tags #level conscious, #vide presidents offcie, #secretary, #make direct eye contact, #meeting, #boss, #new hire, #business
Transcript
"We're not 'level conscious' here." "You could walk up to any vice president's office and talk to his secretary as if you were an equal." "Which, by the way, you're not. So don't try to make direct eye contact."
Tuesday July 27,
2004
Tags #lunch, #great opportunity, #multi level marketing, #bible, #diet plan
Transcript
"Hey, Dilbert! How would you like to go to lunch?" "Alone." "Alone! Ha ha! but then you'd miss out on this great opportunity!" "It's multi-level marketing plus a diet plan suggested by the bible!" "Shoot me."
Saturday October 29,
2005
Tags #happiness not realted, #level of wealth, #relative wealth, #good job
Transcript
"Research has shown that happiness is not related to one's absolute level of wealth." "What matters is one's relative wealth compared to other people." "So, if I do a good job, could you cut this guy's pay?"
Saturday December 08,
2012
Tags #grass roots politics, #taxes, #work ethic, #initiative, #grass roots movement, #raise taxes, #checkmate, #income level
Transcript
Boss: Carol, I can't give you a raise this year because you didn't show enough initiative. Carol: I just formed a grass-roots movement to convince the government to raise taxes on people at your income level. Checkmate. Boss: That can't be legal.
Wednesday March 06,
2013
Tags #suspicion, #high level of trust, #employees, #performance, #scam, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: Studies show that companies with a high level of trust in employees also perform the best. Boss: If you ever start performing well, I'll trust you, too. Dilbert: This didn't go the way I hoped. Boss: What kind of scam are you trying to pull?