Made A Difference Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

391 Results for Made A Difference

View 21 - 30 results for made a difference comic strips. Discover the best "Made A Difference" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #selling stock options, #made fortune, #now bankrupt, #401k worthless, #stolen savings, #bad time, #make quote marks, #in effect

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice says to The Boss, "You made a fortune selling your stock options last month and now we're bankrupt." Alice continues, "My 401l is worthless. So, in effect, you've stolen my life savings." Alice yells, "This would be a bad time to make quote marks in the air while saying, 'in effect.'" The Boss has his hands raised to make quote marks. He stops and says, "Ooh."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #nemesis, #pointy haired, #software division, #report to boss, #no difference, #harware, #software, #engineering

View Transcript

Transcript

"This is my nemesis, pointy-haired Carl. He manages our software division." "Write up some reasons why he should report to me. I'll secretly give it to our Vice President." "Start by saying there's no real difference between hardware and software." "I'm unclean!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #outsourcing, #elbonia, #time difference, #hand off requirements, #work day, #finish code, #pretend we died

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "We're outsourcing half of our programming work to Elbonia to take advantage of the time difference." The Boos: "We'll hand off our requirements at the end of our work day and get back the finished code the next morning." Elboninas: "Once again, I have no idea what they want." "Let's pretend we died."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #take six months, #time line, #leadership, #made me unmotivated, #foreseen or unforseen, #wally is dysfunctional, #schedule is random, #looks mad

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss points to a board that says, "Time Line." He says, "The project will take six months..." He continues, "Unless there are unforeseen problems." Dilbert raises his hand and says, "Question." Dilbert says to the Boss, "Your leadership has made me unmotivated." Dilbert asks, "Is that considered foreseen or unforeseen?" Dilbert continues, pointing at Wally, "And Wally is dysfunctional on many levels." Wally agrees, "I really am." Dilbert asks, "Was that foreseen? Or are you saying the schedule is random?" Dilbert turns to Alice and says, "He looks mad." Alice says, "I didn't see that coming."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #being ceo, #made smarter, #capital of japan, #mitubishi, #genius

View Transcript

Transcript

The best part about being CEO is that it made me smarter. Watch this. "The capital of Japan is Mitsubishi." "That's right! You're a genius!" "Yesterday I would have said nine."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #prosperity, #intuition, #market research, #success rate, #binary choices, #tiny manager, #made of copper, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: From now on, I'm going to rely on my intuition instead of market research. Dilbert: If guessing can bring your success rate up to 50% for binary choices, I'm all for it. Hey, look! I found a tiny manager made of copper in my pocket!

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #budget cut, #health, #bleak, #public, #poorly made prodcuts, #elevant, #organs, #still healthy, #black market

View Transcript

Transcript

After Budget cuts The boss: It might seem bleak now, but things will turn around... As soon as the public starts loving poorly made products that are relevant to a bygone era. In the meantime, who has organs that are still healthy enough to sell on the black market?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job, #assignment, #question, #scheme, #excited, #celebrating, #dancing, #lazy, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says, "Wally, I need you to do an inventory in our warehouses. It should take about a month." Wally says, "Hypothetically, would anyone know the difference if I just made up the numbers?" The Boss says, "Well, no?" Wally says, "Dream job!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #comic ends early, #embedded punchline, #follow passion, #joking, #made fat, #set up, #blank frame, #sight gag

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: I tried to follow my passion but it only made me fat. Dogbert: This comic ends early because some idiot embedded the punch line in the setup. Message to Readers

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #complimenting people, #flattery, #indirect, #made car, #make his own car, #new car, #parking lot

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I saw you new car in the parking lot. It's nice. Topper: Thank you. Dilbert: I'm complimenting the people who made your car, not you. Topper: Well, I guess only one of us knows how to make his own car.