Major Comic Strips - Page 3

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39 Results for Major

View 21 - 30 results for major comic strips. Discover the best "Major" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 07, 2012's comic on:


Tags #ventriloquism, #discrepancy, #resume, #degree in engineering, #certification in puppetry, #diploma and bait shop

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Boss: One of our major investors found a discrepancy on your resume. You claim to have a degree in engineering, but in reality you have a certification in puppetry from a place called... Evelyn's Diploma and Bait Shop. CEO: The board has faith in our CEO.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 14, 1992's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #lack, #ethics, #social, #conscience, #guilt, #module, #synthesized, #belief, #system, #spittle

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Dogbert says to the robot, "We need to do something about your total lack of ethics and social conscience." Dogbert continues, "I had Dilbert build this guilt module for your control board. It has the synthesized shame of every major belief system." Later, the robot says to Dilbert, "I am unworthy to roll in your spittle." Dilbert says to Dogbert, "Frankly, I liked him better before."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 29, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #device, #satellites, #broadcasters, #illegal, #sell, #electronic, #fishing, #lure, #hijack, #hat, #Dilbert

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Dogbert says to a store clerk, "I'm looking for a device that will allow me to take over the satellites of all the major broadcasters." The salesclerk winks as he says, "It would be illegal to sell something like that. But maybe you'd be interested in an electronic fishing lure instead." The salesman continues winking as he says, "Fish can't resist the 'Hijack 3000' lure. And it comes with its own stupid-looking hat!" Dogbert says, "Clever."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 05, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #ratbert, #computer, #natural disasters

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Dilbert sits at his desk. Ratbert says, "You know, as a rat I'm far more likely to survive a major environmental calamity." Ratbert continues, "And there's no shortage of potential disasters - you've got global warming, ozone depletion, air pollution . . ." Ratbert asks, "Can I try on one of your shirts?" Dilbert looks angry.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 25, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #christmas, #Dogbert, #ratbert, #dog, #rat, #tree

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Dilbert sits in front of the Christmas tree in his bathrobe. Dilbert says to Dogbert, who is tearing open his presents, "You really put the family through some major gift-giving guilt this week, Dogbert." Ratbert asks, "Family? Does that include little Ratbert?" Dilbert hands Ratbert a gift and says, "Welcome to the family, Ratbert." Dogbert says, "Don't expect much of an allowance."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 1990's comic on:


Tags #hairballs, #dust, #bunny, #cultural, #home, #hide, #clumps, #under, #furniture, #nip, #bud

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A large rabbit taps Dogbert on the back. Dogbert turns around and shouts, "Holy hairballs! What are you?!!" The bunny replies, "I am the 'Dust Bunny,' an emerging cultural icon." The bunny explains, "Once a year I come to every home and hide clumps of dust under furniture and major appliances." The dust bunny says, "You must honor me by decorating closet doors and singing dust hymns." Dogbert asks, "What about gifts? Do I get any gifts out of this?" The dust bunny replies, "No. The dust bunny symbolizes only love, goodwill and very poor housekeeping." Dogbert sucks up the dust bunny with a vacuum cleaner. He looks at the reader and says, "I know, it seems harsh, but you have to nip these things in the bud." The dust bunny cries from inside the vacuum, "Okay, gifts!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 17, 1996's comic on:


Tags #cause problems, #dogcart consulting, #one full year, #smarter, #ten million doallrs, #work guraenteed, #year 2000, #y2k

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The Boss and Dogbert sit at a conference table. Dogbert says, "When the year 2000 comes, your computers will think it's the year '00' and cause major problems." Dogbert continues, "The Dogbert Consulting Company can fix the problem for only ten million dollars. Our work is guaranteed for one full year, starting today." The Boss says, "But why would I care? The year '00' is before I'm born." Dogbert says, "Amazing . . . You'd actually have to be SMARTER to do something STUPID."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 14, 1996's comic on:


Tags #electrical engineering, #engineering proposal, #engineers opinion, #major, #masters degree, #naked statues, #nickle, #scratch and sniff, #technology publications, #thundering moron, #art history

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Dilbert and Dogbert stand in front of the Boss's desk. Dilbert says, "Dogbert would like to speak with you about the changes you made to my engineering proposal." Dilbert lifts Dogbert onto the desk. Dogbert says, "While Dilbert was getting his masters degree in electrical engineering . . ." Dogbert continues, "You were majoring in art history so you could look at pictures of naked statues." Dogbert continues, "Dilbert often contributes articles to technology publications." Dogbert continues, "You, on the other hand, rub those same publications with a nickel, looking for hidden 'scratch and sniff' panels." Dogbert says, "In summary . . ." Dogbert shouts, "Never question an engineer's opinion, you thundering moron!" Dilbert and Dogbert sit at a table. Dilbert says, "Nicely done, but I wouldn't have said 'thundering.'" Dogbert reads the proposal and says, "What were you drinking when you wrote this piece of crud?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 22, 1998's comic on:


Tags #happy birthday alice, #gift, #charity money, #team spitit, #ash tray, #dont smoke, #ashtray as gift

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Alice and Dilbert sit at a table. Wally stands at the table. Wally says, "Happy Birthday Alice!" Dilbert gives Alice a gift. Wally says, "I was planning to get a gift..." Wally continues, "But then I thought...". Alice takes the gift from Dilbert. Wally says, "Why not give the money to a charity in Alice's name?" Alice asks, "Really? Which charity?" Wally says, "Ummm...'The United Society of Poor People with Major Health Problems'." Alice opens Dilbert's gift. Alice says, "...And Dilbert got me an ashtray even though I don't smoke." Dilbert says, "You don't?" Wally and Dilbert sit at the table. Alice's seat is empty. Alice has left her gift on the table. Wally says, "They say this sort of thing builds team spirit." Dilbert says, "It must be gradual."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 14, 2002's comic on:


Tags #short timer, #refuse to leave, #motorized wheel chair, #lift me, #drag to curb

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Headline: The Short-Timer. Asok asks the short-timer, "How will you leave if you refuse to use any major muscle groups until retirement?" The short-timer responds, "I'm hoping someone will buy me a motorized wheelchair and lift me into it." Asok says, "I would be willing to drag you to the curb." The short-timer responds, "Face up?"