Make Conversation Comic Strips - Page 3
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1000 Results for Make Conversation
View 21 - 30 results for make conversation comic strips. Discover the best "Make Conversation" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 01,
1994
Tags #saint dogbert, #technology, #demons, #stupidity, #make command, #easy to remeber, #software developer
Transcript
Saint Dogbert seeks out technology that has been possessed by the demons of stupidity. He Happens across a software developer. Man: I'll make the command easier to remember like CTRL- ALT-F4-DEL" and if they forget that they can just edit the source code in command. com perfect Dogbert: out! out!
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Saturday December 17,
1994
Tags #make a suggestion, #idea rat, #multi disciplinary forces, #processes
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert, Alice, Ratbert and Ted sit at a conference table. Ratbert asks, "Excuse me . . . I'm only an intern, but may I make a suggestion?" Ratbert says, "Let's form multidisciplinary task forces to reengineer our core processes until we're a world class organization!" The Boss says, "Sounds good. Go do it." Ratbert says, "I'm more of an idea rat."
Friday February 10,
1995
Tags #make less, #janitor, #plunger, #plumber, #rascal, #animal, #alice loves job, #boss, #raise
Transcript
Alice shows the Boss a document and says angrily, "When you consider the hours I work, I make less per hour than the janitor!" The janitor enters carrying a plunger with a small animal sticking out of it. He says to the Boss, "Look what was blocking the pipes! It took me all morning to plunge the rascal out." Alice and the Boss look surprised. Still looking shocked, Alice says, "I love my job." The Boss says, "I'm giving him a raise."
Monday February 27,
1995
Tags #excellence in teaming, #nearly ready, #complete buy in, #make decsions, #squirrel migration patterns
Transcript
The Boss, Dilbert and another worker sit at a conference table. The worker says, "I'm happy to report that the 'Excellence in Teaming' read-out is nearly ready." The worker continues, "It's taken forty people from a dozen departments to complete the study. We finally got complete buy-in." Dilbert asks, "Is that the study of why we can't make decisions?" The worker responds, "Originally. But it evolved into more of a discussion of squirrel migration patterns."
Thursday March 16,
1995
Tags #ban all meetings, #dress code, #casual staus, #mission statements, #have fun, #satisfy customers, #make money, #fit five more, #cucbicle, #chair, #stock options
Transcript
Dogbert stands on a podium addressing a crowd of office workers, including Dilbert, Wally and Alice. Dogbert says, "As new owner of this company I hereby ban all meetings over one hour. The dress code is casual. Status reports are optional!" Dogbert continues, "No more mission statements or 'visions.' Our motto is 'have fun, satisfy customers, make money.'" Dilbert sleeps in his chair. In Dilbert's dream, Dogbert concludes his speech to the employees, "And stock options for all." Outside Dilbert's cubicle, Dogbert says to the Boss, "We can fit five more in this cubicle if we remove the chair."
Saturday July 15,
1995
Tags #study options, #project zebra, #make recommendations
Transcript
The Boss tells Dilbert, "I want you to study our options for Project 'Zebra' and make a recommendation." Both the Boss and Dilbert think, "Translation: 'Read my mind then recommend the option I've already decided on.'" Dilbert answers, "I'll get right on it!" He thinks, "Translation: 'I am doomed. I will go look for naughty pictures on the Internet instead.'"
Tuesday August 08,
1995
Tags #new dress code, #insane, #fridays are casual, #can't wear jeans, #feel good, #already own, #sadistic plot, #make people quit
Transcript
Alice stands in front of Catbert's desk. Alice says, "I don't understand your new dress code policy, Mr. Catbert." Catbert replies, "Maybe you're insane." Catbert continues, "It's simple. Fridays are 'casual.' But you can't wear blue jeans because jeans look good and feel good and you already own several pairs." Alice replies angrily, "It's another sadistic human resources plot to make people quit!!" Catbert answers, "Say hello to unsightly panty lines."
Thursday December 07,
1995
Tags #ignored recommendations, #inadequate, #make system work, #saving money, #get fired
Transcript
Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "So, you ignored my recommendation and bought a low-cost system that's totally inadequate . . ." Dilbert holds up a document and continues, "You compensated for this blunder by making it part of MY objectives to make the system work . . ." Dilbert concludes, "You'll get a bonus for saving money. I'll get fired, thus saving more money and earning you ANOTHER bonus." The Boss replies, "I'm on a roll."
Sunday December 08,
1991
Tags #bicycle, #dinosaur, #Dilbert, #bob, #rips, #pants, #helmets, #dance, #Women, #love, #wine, #guys, #fruity, #flowery, #polyester, #conversation, #trellis, #code, #modulation
Transcript
The strip is titled, "Bob the Dinosaur rips the pants off of guys we hate for no reason." Bob says, "Yes!" The caption says, "Guys who wear those little helmets to ride a bicycle." A man wearing a helmet says, "Did a 100 K today." Bob rips his pants off and says, "Safety first!" The man screams. The caption says, "Guys who know actual dance steps." Bob reaches for a man who is dancing. The man screams as Bob rips his pants off. Bob says, "Women love that stuff!" The caption says, "Guys who know wine." A man sitting at a table in a restaurant tastes a glass of wine. He comments, "Fruitty, yet tannic . . ." Bob rips his pants off. He looks at the man's underwear and says, "Flowery, yet polyester!!" The caption says, "Guys who can stop a conversation cold." Dilbert says to two people at a party, "That reminds me of trellis code modulation." Bob reaches for his pants.
Saturday January 27,
1996
Tags #primary vendor, #make a choice, #impractical solution
Transcript
Dilbert says to the Boss, ". . . But our primary vendor can't deliver, so . . ." The Boss ignores Dilbert and thinks, "I wonder what's on tv tonight." Dilbert continues, ". . . Should we risk a lawsuit or build a product that nobody on earth wants?" The Boss thinks, "Did he ask me to make a choice?" Dilbert thinks, "Will it be a request for information or an impractical solution?" The Boss says, "Let's do both!"