Manage Annual Business Plan Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for Manage Annual Business Plan

View 21 - 30 results for manage annual business plan comic strips. Discover the best "Manage Annual Business Plan" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business people, #business plan, #corporate dysfunction, #dishonesty, #incompetence, #longer, #lumbering monument, #seeking feedback, #more of the same

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I had a question about your feedback on my business plan. You called it a "lumbering monument to incompetence, dishonesty and corporate dysfunction." Alice: What's your question? Dilbert: Do you think it should be longer?

Dilbert Characters

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #electronic mail, #obliviousness, #business plan, #email about plan, #rambling and disjointed, #no understanding of problem, #proposed solution, #havent sen email

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Did you see my email about your business plan? Dilbert: Was it a rambling and disjointed email that showed no understanding of the problem or the proposed solution? Boss: No. Dilbert: Oh. Then apparently I haven't seen it.

Planning To Lose

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Planning To Lose - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #failure, #insulting, #planning, #business plan, #plan for failure, #losers, #angry, #same page

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: If our business plan fails, do we have a plan for that? Boss: Only losers plan for failure. Dilbert: I think we're on the same page, but for some reason you're angry about it.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #low standards, #managers, #standards, #micro manage, #furniture, #communicates, #plan, #temporary boss

View Transcript

Transcript

Temporary Robot Boss. Robot: I have come to micromanage you. But only until I replace you with a robot and turn you into furniture. Dilbert: On the plus side, he has a plan and he communicates well.

Mind Reader

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Mind Reader - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business, #plan, #sabotage, #mind reader, #success, #apology

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert: i don't think your plan will work. employee: pffft. of course you don't. you are trying to sabotage me because you are jealous of my success. dilbert: you read minds as well as you make plans. employee: apology accepted.

Reasonable Assumptions

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Reasonable Assumptions - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #business, #plan, #reasonable, #unreasonable, #assumptions, #job, #face mask, #sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

dilbert wearing face mask: i ran the numbers, and your plan does not work under any reasonable set of assumptions. boss wearing face mask: have you tried "unreasonable assumptions?" dilbert: why would i do that? boss: well, to keep your job, for example.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #pile binders, #have view, #cubicle walls, #everyone binders

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally stacks binders on his desk chair and tells Dilbert, ". . . And if I pile enough binders on my chair I'll have a window view!" Wally stands on his chair and looks over the cubicle wall. Dilbert thinks as he walks away, "I've got to try that." The Boss hands Ted a binder and says, "Wow! I've never seen so much interest in our business plan!" Ted asks, "Can I have two?" Behind them, Dilbert, Wally and their co-workers stand on their chairs looking out of their cubicles.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #profitability, #year 3, #key revenue, #comet strike oil, #crashes through wall, #abstractions, #presentation

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: "As requested, I wrote the business plan to show profitability by year three." Dilbert: "The key revenue assumption is that an armored car crashes through that wall and spills its contents." "And don't stand where the comet is assumed to strike oil."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

View Transcript

Transcript

"Did you get all of the department heads to sign off on our business plan?" "No, they prefer to see us fail so they look good in comparison and there's more money in the budget for them." "How can we speed up this process?" "I'm failing as fast as I can."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #executives, #new strategy, #nimble, #meeting, #business plan, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Our new strategy is to be nimble. Dilbert: Is that the same as saying our strategy is to have no strategy? CEO: Just do your job. Dilbert: Can I be nimble instead?