Managers Comic Strips - Page 3
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596 Results for Managers
View 21 - 30 results for managers comic strips. Discover the best "Managers " comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday March 01,
2004
Tags too many managers, aspect manager, corproaret objective, morale aspect, bad coice, dread
Transcript
CEO: "We have too many managers, so I'm making you an aspect manager." "You'll be in charge of one aspect of a corporate objective." The Boss: "Please just fire me." CEO: "Your aspect will be morale."
Saturday July 09,
2005
Tags managers elbow, patting yourself on back, prescription, leptard, cirque du soliel
Transcript
Doctor: You've got a bad case of manager's elbow. Its caused by patting yourself on the back and covering your butt at the same time. Doctor: I recommend that you doing the cirque du soleil. Im giving you a prescription for a leotard.
Saturday October 13,
2012
Tags employees, executives, managers & supervisors, engineers, middleman, worse case scenario, business
Transcript
CEO: One of your engineers came to me with a suggestion. Boss: Gasp! CEO: The only reason I have middle managers is so this never happens. Dilbert: Hey, buddy. What are we talking about? CEO: Gaaa!!! Worst case scenario!
Thursday November 22,
2012
Tags honesty, managers & supervisors, leader, manager, bad managers, hinesty, business
Transcript
Boss: I see myself as more of a leader than a manager. Catbert: That's what all bad managers say. I'm just being honest. Boss: That's what all jerks say.
Friday January 18,
2013
Tags above average, ignorance (knowledge), managers & supervisors, top 110%, study of managers, percentages, business
Transcript
Boss: A study says that 74% of managers think they are above average. That means that 36% of managers aren't aware that they are above average too. Dilbert: The way I look at it, you're all in the top 110%. Boss: Exactly. Thank you.
Wednesday February 20,
2008
Tags surveillance cameras, anti management comic, drunken lemurs, managers, liquor, thoughts, posting, defacing
Transcript
The Boss: Our surveillance cameras caught you posting this antimanagement comic on the wall. This comic compares managers to drunken lemurs. Do you think drunken lemurs are like managers? Wally: No, some lemurs can hold their liquor."
Saturday October 23,
2010
Sunday January 12,
2003
Tags evil, great idea, ignorant and worthless, manage budgets, poorly conceived, project managers, pummel with fists
Transcript
Asok enters The Boss' office and says, "I thought of a great idea." Asok continues, "You could let the project managers manage their own budgets... What?" Asok starts to look scared. He says, "You're giving me a look. I must try to guess what it means." Asok continues, "We don't do things that way? If it were a good idea you'd already be doing it?" Asok clutches his tie in fear and continues, "My ideas are poorly conceived?! I can't see the big picture?" Asok jumps back and exclaims, "Gaaa!!! I am ignorant and worthless!!" Asok punches himself in the face and exclaims, "I must pummel myself with my own tiny fists!!" He cries, "Ow! Ow!" Afterwards, The Boss says to Catbert, "They're kinda self-managed now." Catbert responds, "Very evil: I purr in your general direction."
Sunday August 20,
2000
Tags good manager, hires samrter, boss dumber, ceo, dumbest person, bad managers, doomed, motivational meeting, high five
Transcript
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert, Alice, and Asok are in a meeting. The Boss explains, "A good manager hires people who are smarter than he is." Wally asks, "So... your boss is dumber than you?" Alice asks, "And your boss' boss is dumber yet?" Then, Dilbert says, "According to your theory, our CEO is the dumbest person in the company." Wally adds, "Unless all of you are bad managers." And Asok says, "Truly we are doomed either way." The Boss responds, "This concludes the motivational part of the meeting." Wally says to the Boss, "I'd give you a high five but I don't like to move."
Wednesday June 12,
2013
Tags frustration, hypocrisy, managers & supervisors, shut out, meetings, unsolvable, business
Transcript
Boss: Asok, I can't promote you because the other managers don't know you. Asok: That's because you shut me out of meetings and take credit for my work. Boss: That sounds unsolvable.

