Married With Children Comic Strips - Page 3

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View 21 - 30 results for married with children comic strips. Discover the best "Married With Children" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #charity, #bottle caps, #fund, #chemo, #pro children, #snopes.com, #internet hoax, #award mug

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CEO: Thanks to your leadership, we collected twenty thousand bottle caps to help fund chemo for poor children. And thanks to your... whatever... we checked snopes.com and learned that the bottle cap thing was an internet hoax. I only brought one teamwork award mug, so you'll have to take turns drinking from it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Family, #work from home, #2 days err week, #reduce carbon foorprint, #wife, #small children, #egg carton, #talking to moron, #relationships

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Boss: I want you to work from home for two days per week to reduce our carbon footprint. Employee: Nooooo! My wife and three small children are in that house. They're always mean to me. Boss: How bad could it be? Employee: Let me put it this way: I'm sitting in an egg carton and talking to a moron, and this is better.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #substitute teacher, #tykes, #children, #flammable

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Dogbert sits in the chair and Dilbert sits on the hassock. Dilbert asks, "Can't I talk you out of becoming a substitute teacher?" Dogbert replies, "Don't worry." Dogbert continues, "I won't damage the little tykes." The caption says, "Day one." Dogbert stands in front of a blackboard and says, "Good morning, children. I'm Mr. Dogbert." A student asks, "Are you flammable?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #dinosaurs, #babysitter, #frankly, #bob, #eating, #children parents

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A man says to his wife, ". . . We should at least interview him. Nobody else even answered our ad for a babysitter." The woman says to Bob the Dinosaur, "Frankly, Bob, we're concerned that you might try to eat the children." Bob replies, "Well, of course, in that case there would be no charge for the evening." The husband says, "He's more than fair."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #woman, #single, #clues, #hair

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The caption says, "Clues from women's hair." An arrow points at a woman with long hair and a caption says, "This woman is single." An arrow points at a woman with short hair and a caption says, "The same woman, now married." An arrow points at a woman with bags under her eyes and hair standing on end and a caption says, "Married, two kids."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #foreign, #language, #children, #dress, #vikings, #hollering

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Dogbert says to Dilbert, "Opera should be banned from television." Dogbert continues, "It must be obscene, or they wouldn't have to sing it in a foreign language." Dogbert continues, "And we can't let children think it's okay to dress like Vikings and go around hollering."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #practiced, #Religion, #attained, #fulfillment, #soul, #creature, #andy the android

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Andy says to Dogbert, "I have practiced religion for one day and not attained fulfillment." Dogbert responds, "That's because you're an android. You have no soul." Andy asks, "No soul?" Andy asks, "What is a little creature with no soul supposed to do?" Dilbert responds, "Well, Sonny Bono married Cher . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #cost, #sending, #budgeting, #married, #kid, #price, #living, #modern, #society, #cave, #hunt, #bison

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Dilbert and Dogbert sit at the table. Dilbert says, "The cost of sending a child to college is rising so quickly . . ." Dilbert continues, ". . . We need to start budgeting now, in case I ever get married and have a kid." Dogbert says, "I guess that's the price for living in a modern society." Dilbert says, "In the meantime, we'll have to live in a cave and hunt bison."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #show, #interview, #book, #author, #unmarried, #Men, #scum, #theory, #jailed, #crime, #beat, #system, #married

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A television talk show host says into the microphone, "My guest for today's show is Dogbert, author of the one-page book, 'Unmarried Men are Scum.'" The host says to Dogbert, "Your theory is that all unmarried men should be jailed for life, thus ending most crime." Dogbert replies, "Exactly." The host asks, "What if they try to beat the system by getting married?" Dogbert replies, "Serves 'em right."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dogbert, #children, #power, #great book, #direction, #tv, #listings, #flipping

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Dogbert stands at a desk and types, "Although raising children is difficult, be assured that you will get help from a power greater than yourself." Dogbert types, "Teach your children about the higher power and about the 'Great Book' which will give them direction." A baby sits in a chair in front of a television. The father says, "They're called 'tv listings.' Without them, you're just flipping."