Meetings Comic Strips - Page 3
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Character
218 Results for Meetings
View 21 - 30 results for meetings comic strips. Discover the best "Meetings" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday April 16,
1997
Tags joking and grumbling, life insurance, catered lunch meetings, discuss feelings, mad cow burger, chicken bone surpise
Transcript
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "There's been a lot of joking and grumbling since the company took out life insurance policies on all of you." The Boss continues, "So we're having these catered lunch meetings to discuss your feelings." Carol, the Boss's secretary, brings a bag of food into the room. Carol takes a sandwich out of the bag and asks, "Do you want the mad cow burger or the chicken bone surprise?"
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday June 16,
1997
Tags two hour meeting, friday night, tina, no personal life, useless meetings, void, insane, have a meeting
Transcript
Tina tells Dilbert and Wally, "I scheduled a two-hour T.H.N.P.L. meeting for seven o'clock on Friday night." Tina explains, "T.H.N.P.L stands for 'Tina has no personal life.' I'm scheduling useless meetings to fill the void in my life." Dilbert says, "Tina, this is insane." Tina asks, "Are you suggesting we have a meeting to discuss it? Is Saturday okay?"
Wednesday June 18,
1997
Tags Catbert, evil hr director, complaints, unnecessary, meetings, Family, ridiculous
Transcript
Tina sits across from Catbert's desk. Catbert says, "People are complaining that you schedule unnecessary meetings as a substitute for a family." Tina replies, "That's ridiculous! Come to my next meeting and see for yourself." Catbert says, "Okay, I will." Tina tells Dilbert, "I got us a family cat. How was your day, dear?" Dilbert leans on his desk and sobs.
Thursday June 19,
1997
Tags Dogbert, invited to worthless meetings, say no, sense of self, can't be bothered
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Dogbert, I need your help. I keep getting invited to worthless meetings and I can't say no." Dilbert continues, "YOU can say no to anything. You have such a clearly defined sense of self-interest." Dilbert asks, "Will you teach me to be like you?" Dogbert replies, "Nope . . . can't be bothered."
Monday August 18,
1997
Tags task force, recruit, smartest college seniors, lie often, real life experince, meetings, parties
Transcript
The Boss tels Dilbert, "You'll be on the task force to recruit the smartest college seniors to work here." The Boss says, "Remember, don't lie often. And don't mock them for their lack of real life experience." The college student, unshaven, says, "so you're saying meetings are just like parties?" Dilbert replies, "Well, I'm not allowed to say orgy..."
Friday October 24,
1997
Tags accident, ask questions, bury survivors, dont embarrass boss, highly visible, meetings, put them in trunk, promoted
Transcript
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the couch. Dogbert says, "If you want to be promoted, you have to be highly visible." Dogbert says, "Ask questions at meetings. But make them easy so you don't embarrass your boss." Dilbert is in a meeting with Wally and the Boss. Dilbert says, "...So if there's an accident in a company car, where should we bury the survivors?" The Boss says, "I usually put them in the trunk."
Saturday September 19,
1998
Tags no meetings, change software, software settings, boss, good work
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his cubicle. Dilbert thinks, "I don't have any meetings today." Dilbert thinks, "I'll change all my software settings until something soesn't work." The Boss pokes his head into Dilbert's cubicle. The Boss says, "Keep up the good work." Dilbert says, "Keep up the good managing."
Tuesday October 20,
1998
Tags newest hore, team member, headless suit, meetings, never fire, bad decsion, head is in jar
Transcript
The Boss stands with his arm around a headless man. Alice sits at her computer. The Boss says, "Alice, meet the newest member of our team." The Boss says, "I hired him myself. That means I can never fire him; it would look like I made a bad decision." The Boss says, "Microsoft hired his head. It's in a jar in Redmond." Alice says, "And we got the part that goes to meetings."
Tuesday December 01,
1998
Tags boss in hospital, no brain function, still talking, double length meetings, accomplish twice as much
Transcript
The boss lies in a hospital bed. The boss is hooked up to complicated looking machine. A docter stands next to the machine. The doctor says, "The accident left him with no brain function whatsoever." The doctor says, "But that hasn't stopped him from talking." Dilbert says, "I'll drive him back to work." Dilbert drives the Boss. The Boss says, "If I double the length of our staff meetings, we'll accomplish twice as much!"
Sunday May 01,
1994
Tags all day meetings, cutting staff, giving stats reports, layers, quality team meeting, root cause, slow computers, slow design, wild guesses
Transcript
Dilbert: Thank you all for coming to our engineering quality team meeting. Dilbert: Today we'll try to identify the root cause of our slow design process. Wally: Let me take some wild guesses here. Management keeps increasing our work and cutting our staff. Wally: we spend all out time giving status reports to unnecessary layers of management!! Wally: ow we're having all -day meetings to talk about our efficiency!! Dilbert: I was kinda hoping for some thing that inst anybody fault. Our computers are too slow. we need new ones, Dilbert: now we're getting someplace.


