Misinterpret Everything Comic Strips - Page 3
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284 Results for Misinterpret Everything
View 21 - 30 results for misinterpret everything comic strips. Discover the best "Misinterpret Everything" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday July 15,
2004
Tags #negotiating, #opening offer, #lots of better offers, #ruining everything
Transcript
Negotiating My opening offer is... Dilbert: Thank you, thank you, than you, we accept your offer!! I haven t said an offer. Dilbert: I mean we have lots of other offers that are better. You're ruining everything.
Tuesday August 17,
2004
Tags #product designer, #function, #design, #everything, #quality, #news, #emotional impact, #hard to look at
Transcript
"Product designer" Dogbert: "Function means nothing. Design is everything." "Quality is yesterday's news. Today we focus on the emotional impact of the product." Dilbert: "But it still needs quality, right?" Dogbert: "You are so-o-o-o hard to look at."
Tuesday June 14,
2005
Tags #bill for consulting, #past year, #all in head, #recommendation, #status quo, #everything right
Transcript
Dogbert: Here's my bill for the consulting work I've done for you over the past year. The Boss: "What consulting? I haven't seen any reports." Dogbert: "I did it all in my head. I don't like to waste paper." The Boss: "What's your recommendation?" Dogbert: "Status Quo. You're doing everything right."
Wednesday July 11,
2007
Tags #knowledge, #authority, #make decsions, #misinterpret, #build
Transcript
Dilbert: Does anyone here have any knowledge or any authority to make decisions? woman: "I'm only here to listen and misinterpret." "Let's try to build on that."
Monday February 19,
2007
Tags #free publicity, #products are deadly, #recalling everything, #told the media, #public relations
Transcript
The Boss:: I hired the Dogbert public relations firm to get us some free publicity. Dogbert: I've already told the media that your products are deadly and we're voluntarily recalling everything. The Boss: But...they aren't deadly. Dogbert: Hey, I don't tell you how to be fat. wally: snork
Saturday February 24,
2007
Tags #dead horse, #gallops away, #punch horse, #store for everything, #in office
Transcript
The boss: Someone left a dead horse in the hall. I am going to punch that dead horse until it gallops away. punch punch punch punch Dilbert: You were right. But where did you find a dead horse? Alice: Theres a store for everything.
Monday July 28,
2008
Tags #lawsuit, #represent in lawsuit, #one condition, #do everything, #without hesitation
Transcript
Dilbert says, "Will you represent me in my lawsuit against my CEO?" Dogbert says, "Under one condition." Dogbert says, "You must do everything I ask, without question or hesitation." Dilbert says, "What if you tell me to do painful things for your amusement?" "Dogbert says, "If?"
Thursday September 06,
2007
Tags #fired, #incompetent, #everything, #teach dilbert, #how to do your job
Transcript
The Boss: "Carl, I have to fire you." "You're totally incompetent at everything you do." "Before you go, I'd like you to teach Dilbert how to do your job."
Sunday July 25,
2004
Tags #vp marketing, #saturate airwaves, #as campiagn, #talking squirrel, #fake accent, #complete fraud, #pack up desk, #ruin everything
Transcript
The boss: Our Vp of marketing here to describe our new bet the company strategy. we'll saturate the airwaves with an ad campaign featuring a talking squirrel. He'll have a face norwegian accent like, "Geeve me zee nuts" ha ha! Any questions? Yes, you with the strange ghead, Dilbert: How will a talking squirrel make people but our products? I just realized Ima complete fraud, I'll pack up my desk and leave immediately. The Boss: can we get through one meeting without you ruining everything?
Friday June 06,
2014
Tags #apathy, #managers & supervisors, #buried alive, #burlap bag, #starving rats, #fix everything, #business
Transcript
Boss: So... how's your job going? Dilbert: It's like being buried alive in a burlap bag full of starving rats. Boss: And I'm back to not caring. Dilbert: How long will it take you to fix everything?