Monkey On Back Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

769 Results for Monkey On Back

View 21 - 30 results for monkey on back comic strips. Discover the best "Monkey On Back" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #god, #language, #report, #Dilbert, #tim, #monkey, #incan, #awful, #write, #lucky, #translate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says to Tim, "Gee, Tim, you look awful." Tim replies, "I've been working for five days without any sleep to finish this report." Tim's clothes are disheveled and he has circles under his eyes. Tim continues, "At first I had a mental block. But on the fourth day I was visited by an Incan monkey god who told me what to write." Dilbert replies, "Wow, lucky break." Tim says, "Now I just have to find somebody who can translate his simple but beautiful language."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #zimbu the monkey

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey sit across from the Boss's desk. The Boss says, "I've got to cut staff in engineering. I'm trying to determine which one of you is more valuable to keep." The Boss says, "I've been hearing good things about Zimbu the Monkey. Which one of you is Zimbu the Monkey?" Dilbert and Zimbu both raise their hands. Dilbert thinks, "This is not the proudest moment of my professional career."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #zimbu the monkey, #lay off

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dilbert and Zimbu the Monkey, "It's going to be tough deciding which of you to lay off." The Boss continues, "I want to keep the employee who projects the most professional image." Dilbert puts his hand behind Zimbu's head and makes a 'V' with his fingers. Dilbert thinks, "This should make him look pretty stupid."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #zimbu, #creativity, #test, #humor, #barrel, #monkey, #advantage, #guillibility

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert and Zimbu compete for one job. The Boss: This next event tests your humor and creativity. The objective is to see how much fun you can have in the barrel. Who wants to go first? Dilbert: This is no fair. Zimbu is a monkey. He has an advantage.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #reincarnation, #investment, #fund, #invest now, #come back as cow, #fortune in milk, #invest until reincarnate

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: I call it 'Dogbert's Reincarnation Investment Fund'. You give me your money now and I invest it until you reincarnate. The compound interest will make you rich. Dilbert: What if I come back as a cow? Dogbert: You'll save a fortune in milk.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #commercial prodcuts, #secret, #evoultion, #zimbu the monkey

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: Zimbu the monkey designed three commercial products this week! we'd better find out his secret. wally: He's using his tail! He has a natural advantage! Wally: I feel the jaws of evolution on my throat. Dilbert: good gravy! Did you see him cut and paste?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #commercially viable, #hard drive, #installed software, #tail, #zimbu, #monkey, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Well, well, It looks like Zumbu has designed another commercially viable product using only his tail. Dilbert: I could have done that....If I hadn't erased my hard drive when I installed my security software. I don't produce much, but its very secure. Monkey: Heres another one.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exaggerating accomplishments, #failing, #monkey, #more humiliating, #stupid monkey, #typical, #zimbu, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Our CEO cancelled his visit, He's sending his top aid, ZIMBU the monkey in his place. Dilbert: Isn't that typical? I spent a week exaggerating my accomplishments for this now he sends a stupid monkey! what could be more humiliating than trying to suck up to a monkey? Monkey: Failing at it?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #boos, #delegate work, #mark compalins, #throws a fit, #complain, #behind back, #boss retreats

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: We've hired the Dogbert Ad Agency to give our company a new image. Mark: AAAGH! MARK: Sure, Sure...I"ll do it, but I'll have this expression the whole time. and just maybe I"ll complain behind your back!! The Boss: Never mind, I'll do it myself. Oh, right, keep the good assignment,

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #fired, #hired back, #other people are smarter, #wally is dumb, #boss is dumb, #more money

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Wally? I thought you got fired. Wally: I did. But people outside the company appear smarter, so they hired me back as a consultant for way more money. wally: Did you understand that? Don't feel embarrassed to ask for help on the hard stuff.