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View 21 - 30 results for more efficient meetings comic strips. Discover the best "More Efficient Meetings" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #delight customers, #fire everybody, #price of products, #slogan, #stop meetings, #we waste your money

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The Boss: "We must constantly ask ourselves what we can do to delight our customers." Alice: "We could stop having these meetings, fire everybody in the room and lower the prices of our products." The Boss: "I was thinking more alone the lines of a slogan." Wally: "How about, 'we waste your money'?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ass six meetings, #customer focus, #micro management, #egomaniacal mahifest, #survival, #paper towels, #mens room

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Dilbert stands in front of the Boss's desk. Reading a report, the Boss says, "Change these dates . . . and add six more meetings and use the phrase 'customer focus.'" Dilbert looks down at the desk where a tiny figure has appeared. Dilbert says, "Uh-Oh . . . your micro-management has caused my ego to manifest itself and beg for survival." The tiny figure says, "I'm shrinking!" The Boss splats the tiny figure with a fly swatter and says to Dilbert, "Run and get me some paper towels . . . five of them . . . from the men's room."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #headache, #laptop, #meeting, #evil director, #human resources, #laptops banned, #meetings, #should crushing boredom, #futility headache, #business

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Catbert: Evil director of human resources Computer: Laptops are banned from all meetings. The only things that should be in your mind during meetings are soul-crushing boredom and a futility headache. The boss: That's more like it.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meetings, #work ethic, #attend meetings, #add value, #big idea guy, #conceptualist

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Coworker: You attend all of my project meetings but you never add value. Wally: I'm more of a big idea guy-- a conceptualist, if you will. Coworker: Okay, what's your big idea? Wally: Okay, here's where my system breaks down.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #irony, #meetings, #work ethic, #time in meetings, #waste of time

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Wally: I'm happy to report that I spent 50% more time in meetings this quarter. Boss: That's not an accomplishment! Meetings are a complete waste of time! Wally: How would I have learned that without a meeting?

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #efficiency experts, #employee tracking, #wandering aorund, #meetings, #restroom trips, #employee monitoring, #wrist monitor, #low levels of caffeine, #typos up, #beat authority figure, #tablet computer, #danger signals, #workloads

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Boss: Okay, let's see how employee 3452378 is doing. According to our employee tracking system, you have wandered around the office 17% more than the average employee. Dilbert: Maybe I have more meetings than most people. Boss: No, most of the difference is in restroom trips and detours past an attractive woman's desk. Your wrist monitor shows unacceptably low levels of caffeine for your workload. That's probably why your typos are up 9% and you have looked away from your workstation nine more times than last month. Now your wrist monitor indicated a desire to bean an authority figure to death with his own tablet computer. Phew! Your brain's wuss subroutine just kicked in. The danger has passed.

Send Ceo On Dangerous Stunts

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Send Ceo On Dangerous Stunts - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #ceos, #death, #deception, #split duites, #boring meetings, #publicity stunts, #business scheme, #3people, #medical

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Co-CEOs. Dogbert: Let's split the duties this way... I will be the CEO who attends boring meetings, and you can be more of a Richard Branson type who does dangerous publicity stunts. Co-CEO: I love that idea. Dogbert: And then there was one.

No More Than Eight People In A Meeting

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No More Than Eight People In A Meeting - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #autobiography, #executives, #ghost writers, #quote, #quotes, #co author, #meetings, #rules

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Dilbert: Your rule is that no more than eight people should attend a meeting, so I can't let you sit down. CEO: When did I say that? Dilbert: It was in a book you co-wrote. CEO: I knew I should have skimmed that thing. Dilbert: Your unknown co-author is quite wise.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deception, #job, #laziness, #strategic thinker, #strategy, #work ethic, #worker bee, #attend meetings, #strategic, #no work, #business

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Wally: Can I create my own job? I hear people do that. They figure out what they are good at and then they create a job around it. I'm more of a strategic thinker than a worker bee. My job could be to attend meetings and say strategic things. And, of course, I would have no time to respond to email because I'd be busy being strategic. Boss: It feels as if you want a job that doesn't involve work. Wally: Would you trust a strategic thinker who can't solve his own problems?

Useful Meetings

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Useful Meetings - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #meeting, #meetings, #productivity, #leadership, #business

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Boss: I need you to come to a meeting now. Dilbert: Can I do something useful instead? Boss: The meeting will be useful. Dilbert: More useful than what I'm doing? Boss: How would I know? Dilbert: Is all leadership random or just yours?