Motivational Email Comic Strips - Page 3

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230 Results for Motivational Email

View 21 - 30 results for motivational email comic strips. Discover the best "Motivational Email" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 14, 2012's comic on:


Tags #anger, #bad idea, #email, #hate, #meeting, #recommend changes, #bed ideas, #business

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Coworker: Did you see my email with all of my recommended changes to your product? Dilbert: Yes. Everything you suggested is a bad idea, but I don't want to spend the rest of my life explaining why. Coworker: Now I hate you. Dilbert: All roads headed in that directions. All I did was take the shortest one.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 15, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #athlete, #multimillion, #contract, #banned, #Sports, #drugs, #motivational, #speaker, #motivated, #illiterate

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Dogbert sits on a park bench with a large man. The man says, "I never learned to read, but it didn't matter because I was a great athlete." The man continues, "Then came the multi-million dollar contract, which I spent on drugs. Eventually I was banned from sports. I quit drugs because I couldn't afford it." The man says, "Now I'm a motivational speaker." Dogbert asks, "Have you motivated anybody to become illiterate yet?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 1995's comic on:


Tags #perfromance appraisel, #four years, #starting documentation, #fire me later, #24 hours aday, #motivational

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The Boss stands behind Alice's desk and says, "Alice, I'm almost done with your performance appraisal." Alice looks horrified and gasps. Alice turns her chair to face the Boss and says, "I haven't had an appraisal in four years. You must be starting a documentation trail so you can fire me later." Alice types wildly and yells, "I'LL WORK 24 HOURS A DAY!!" The Boss thinks, "That was way more motivational than I'd hoped."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 1995's comic on:


Tags #motivational speaker, #discount speakers bureau, #work harder, #get fired, #working harder, #slow class

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The Boss says to Dilbert, Alice and their co-workers, "Today we have a motivational speaker from the 'Discount Speakers Bureau.'" A slouching, unhappy man says, "You should, like, work harder . . . Otherwise you might get fired. Any questions?" Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Would we get bonuses for working harder?" The speaker says, "This must be the slow class."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 22, 2012's comic on:


Tags #coders, #email, #incorporate specs, #meetings, #relevance, #spam filter, #wireframe, #wise counsel

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Based on a true story Coworker: I completed the wireframe and passed it off to our coders. Dilbert: That's great. Did you incorporate all of my specs? Coworker: I didn't see any specs from you. Maybe my spam filter ate your email. Dilbert: No problem. I'll resend them and you can start from scratch. Coworker: Yes, I certainly could do that. Or I could ignore your input, enjoy my deep feeling of accomplishment and hope for the best. Wally: That sounds easier. Coworker: I accept your wise counsel, Wally. I guess your search for relevance marches on.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 1997's comic on:


Tags #dinosaurs, #downsized, #fate, #vote by email, #jimmy carter, #monitor voting

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Dogbert says, "Should the Dinosaurs be downsized? You decide their fate." Bob, Dawn and Rex stand to one side looking worried. Vote by email: dinosaurs@unitedmedia.com A: I love the dinosaurs! B: Stick to office jokes! C: No talking animals! D: I don't have an opinion, but I like to vote! E: Get rid of everyone so I can use the blank space for notes. Ratbert says, 'There's a Jimmy Carter here to monitor the voting." Dogbert says, "Uh-oh."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 06, 1993's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #the boss, #performance, #review, #process, #accomplishments, #cash, #value, #empowerment, #match, #motivational

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The Boss tells Dilbert, "It's time for your annual performance review." The Boss continues, "The process is the same as usual." The Boss continues, "Make your accomplishments fit the trendy categories on this form." Dilbert reads, "'1. Estimate the cash value of the empowerment you displayed this year. Cite examples.'" The Boss says, "Try to make your accomplishments match the raise I've already decided for you." Dilbert asks, "Why don't you just tell me what you've decided?" The Boss responds, "What - and ruin the motivational value of the process??" The Boss thinks as he walks away, "How did I get stuck with all the cynical employees?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 17, 1998's comic on:


Tags #motivational message, #employees, #first day, #rest of the week, #business

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The boss sits at his desk. He speaks into a PA system but the handset is held upside down. The Boss says, "This is today's motivational message for all employees." The Boss says, "Today is the first day of the rest of the week." The Boss thinks, "Or is it?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 30, 1998's comic on:


Tags #alice, #recipient, #of stone of quality, #motivational rock, #says thanks, #costs engraved, #knocks out boss, #police arrive, #find rock

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Alice sits at the computer. The Boss hands her a rock. The boss says, "Alice, you're the first recipient of the motivational "stone of quality"." The boss says, "It cost a thousand dollars to have it engraved. It's my way of saying "thanks"." The boss lies on the floor with a large bump on his head. Two cops lean over him. Alice peers around the corner. One of the cops, "There's no weapon, but I found this cool motivational rock."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 26, 1998's comic on:


Tags #maintain urgency, #speed is key, #faster than competition, #sign stuff, #logical questions, #motivational messages

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The boss says, "WE must maintain a sense of urgency. Speed is the key. We must be faster than the competition." Dilbert says, "Does that mean you'll sign the stuff that's been on your desk for a month?" Dilbert is at home. Dilbert says, to Dogbert, "Logical questions don't mix with motivational messages."