Moved Cucbicle Comic Strips - Page 3
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Dilbert is packing his things into a box. Wally holds a floorplan and says, "I'm in charge of the office relocation. Where do you want your cubicle?" Dilbert points to a spot on the map and says, "What's this huge structure?" Wally says, "Wallyville. It's two floors of luxury housing, shopping and gambling." Dilbert asks, "Do you think you might be abusing your power?" Wally asks, "What would be the other reasons to have power?"
The Boss, Wally, and Dilbert sitting at table. Wally says, "I'm pleased to report another stellar week of accomplishments." Wally continues, "I moved more than 800,00 bits of data to a disaster recovery back-up facility!" As Dilbert and Wally walk away, Dilbert says, "Did you just take credit for copying a file to a diskette?" Wally says, "It was my resume."
"Here's your new cubicle: the Cuborg 2000." "It's a self-sufficient workspace and life support system." "These tubes attach to various parts of your body so you never have to leave." "Various parts?" "Let's just say you don't want to get these two tubes mixed up." "We'll monitor your vital signs from a central location." "The company nurse?" "No; the human resources department, in case we have to do some emergency hiring." "Is it upgradeable?" "Yeah, the Cuborg 3000 is expected to have air holes."
Tags #boss types, #handy refrence, #hostage taker, #cucbicle, #talks ear off, #vigorous head noodling, #subnet, #ip addresses, #motivational lair, #mushroom, #qualitize, #paradigm, #inundate, #bonus, #80 hour weeks, #moses, #perfect boss, #died thursday afternooon
The panel is titled, "Boss Types." Dogbert holds a pointer and says, "Find your boss on this handy reference." The caption says, "Hostage taker: Traps you in your cubicle and talks your ears off." A man stands in the doorway saying, "Blah blah." A man at a desk says, "Ow!!" as his ears fall off. The caption says, "Fraud: Uses vigorous head nodding to simulate comprehension." Dilbert says, "Then we'll subnet our IP addresses." The man next to him nods his head and says, "Oh yeah. Oh yeah." The caption says, "Motivational Liar: Has no clue what you do but says you're the best." A man says, "Nobody can do what you do!!" The woman thinks, "Except a mushroom." The caption says, "Over Promoted: Tries to mask incompetence with poor communication." Three people sit at a conference table. A man says, "Let's qualitize our paradigm so we don't over inundate with datums." The caption says, "Weasel: Takes credit for your hard work." A man holding a bag of money tells a woman, "This bonus is for brilliantly forcing your staff to work 80 hour weeks." The woman replies, "It wasn't easy!" The caption says, "Moses: Perpetually waits for clear signals from above." The Boss, Wally and Dilbert sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Don't do anything important yet." Wally replies, "Never have." The caption says, "Perfect Boss: Dies of natural causes on a Thursday afternoon." Alice looks at a dead body and asks, "Should we do something?" Wally yells, "Three day weekend!"
The boss and the new guy are standing at a cubicle. The Boss says to the new guy: "This will be your cubicle." The new guy is sitting at his desk. The Boss continues: "In six weeks our I.T. people will connect you to the network so you can do your job." The Boss says to the new guy, who looks stunned: "I'll stop by every few minutes to see what you are doing."
As Dilbert sits at his computer he thinks to himself, "I'm sittin' in a box and checkin' my stocks." Dilbert continues thinking, "I must use all my willpower to resist checking every ten seconds." Dilbert again thinks, "I'm sittin' in a box and checkin' my stocks."
Dilbert sits in his cubicle as a co-worker says, "BLAH, BLAH, BLAH." Dilbert thinks to himself, "I'm trapped in my own cubicle." Dilbert looks down at his arm and thinks, "Maybe I can gnaw off my arm to escape." Dilbert stands in front of Dogbert with a bandage on his arm. Dogbert asks, "And that worked?" Dilbert replies, "People don't stick around when you start gnawing on your arm."
The Boss is sitting at his desk. Wally enters and says, "I was here all night. Is it okay if I take tomorrow as a comp day?" The Boss replies, "According to our security video, you slept all night on a pile of debris in your cubicle." Wally replies, "Is it just me or is this conversation jumping all over the place?"
A male coworker says to Dilbert and Wally, "I'm being moved to the magic portal, cubicle 4575OR!" The coworker continues, "Everyone who sits in the magic portal gets a better job within six months!" Wally and Dilbert are walking alone. Wally asks Dilbert, "There isn't a cubicle 4575OR, is there?" Dilbert responds, "The first round of layoffs are always the cruelest."