Named Ted Comic Strips - Page 3
Search Filters
Year
- 2022
- 2021
- 2020
- 2019
- 2018
- 2017
- 2016
- 2015
- 2014
- 2013
- 2012
- 2011
- 2010
- 2009
- 2008
- 2007
- 2006
- 2005
- 2004
- 2003
- 2002
- 2001
- 2000
- 1999
- 1998
- 1997
- 1996
- 1995
- 1994
- 1993
- 1992
- 1991
- 1990
- 1989
Character
514 Results for Named Ted
View 21 - 30 results for named ted comic strips. Discover the best "Named Ted" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 19,
2015
Software Killed Ted
Tags #invention, #software, #free will, #behavior, #murder, #anger, #glitch, #malfunction, #control, #self control, #psychology, #engineering
Transcript
Boss: I have a report that you killed Ted in a cafeteria brawl. Dilbert: Not exactly. My brain stimulator had a software glitch, and it made me homicidal for a minute. Boss: So... you're a murderer, right? Dilbert: Software killed Ted. I was only the weapon.
Top Dilbert Searches
marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Tuesday September 08,
2015
Ted Has A Bad Feeling
Tags #fired, #firing, #prognostication, #predict, #psychic, #complaining, #complaint, #prophecy
Transcript
Ted: I have a bad feeling about the direction of my project. Boss: You complain too much. You're fired. Dilbert: So... now you believe you can predict the future. Ted: Magic is real.
Wednesday September 23,
2015
Alice Networks With Ted
Tags #lunch, #gender, #Women, #business, #success, #double standard, #attraction, #networking, #mixed signals, #flirt, #misinterpretation
Transcript
Alice: Hey, Ted! Are you free for lunch today? Ted: I'm happily married! Leave me alone! Alice: Relax. I only want to network with you. Ted: Is it because I'm ugly?
Tuesday April 05,
2016
Ted Never Got The File
Tags #blame, #communication, #responsibility, #technology, #guest artist, #brenna thummler
Transcript
Ted: I never got the file you said you would send. Dilbert: I don't know what file type you want. Ted: Why didn't you ask? Dilbert: Why didn't you check your email and see that I did? Ted: Why didn't you text me to say you emailed me? Dilbert: Why don't you drive into a ravine?
Wednesday April 06,
2016
Ted Has A Ravine Option
Tags #cruelty, #empathy, #hr, #human resources, #mean, #guest artist, #brenna thummler, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Evil Director Of Human Resources. Ted: Dilbert said he wants me to drive into a ravine. Catbert: I want that too. I didn't realize it was an option. Ted: Perhaps I have come tot he wrong place. Catbert: I hear good things about the ravine.
Saturday April 09,
2016
New Ted
Tags #hiring, #generic, #job, #placeholder, #disposable, #guest artist, #brenna thummler, #business
Transcript
Ted: My name is Ted. I'm applying for this job of generic white guy. Boss: We just lost our Ted. You look perfect for the job. Ted: Is there anything I should know about the job? Boss: It doesn't end well.
Monday May 02,
2016
Do Not Talk To Ted
Tags #secret, #keeping secrets, #deception
Transcript
Boss: Don't talk to Ted until I have time to tell him I cut his project. Dilbert: When will that be? Boss: I don't know. My European vacation starts tomorrow. Ted: Do you have ten seconds to talk? Dilbert: Check back in fifteen days.
Tuesday May 03,
2016
Ted Wonders If Boss Said Something
Tags #secret, #keeping secrets, #panic, #worry
Transcript
Ted: I saw you talking to my boss. Did he say anything about my project? Dilbert: Um... Ted: Your hesitant response tells me you know something and he asked you not to tell me. Dilbert: Um... Ted: Is something terrible going to happen to me? Dilbert: Um...
Friday July 08,
2016
Ted Has No Family
Tags #human resources, #judgement, #deciding, #business
Transcript
Catbert: Ted went on extended disability because a fly went up his nose and laid eggs. Boss: I want to be green, but I don't know if I should side with the fly or the employee in this situation. Catbert: Well, for what it's worth, Ted doesn't have a family, but the fly does.
Monday October 03,
2016
Dilbert Recommends Firing Ted
Tags #money, #cost, #fired, #layoff, #suggestion
Transcript
Boss: We need to cut our expenses. Dilbert: I recommend eliminating Ted's job. Ted: What??? I recommend eliminating Dilbert's job! Just because he said it first??? Boss: Let's not over-analyze it.