Need To Know Comic Strips - Page 3
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1000 Results for Need To Know
View 21 - 30 results for need to know comic strips. Discover the best "Need To Know" comics from Dilbert.com.
Sunday July 03,
2011
Tags questioning, shopping, hardware, powerpoint deck, boss, ambiguity, mumbling, change subject, badger for answer, too many questions
Transcript
Dilbert: Can you look at this bid and let me know if I can order the hardware? Boss: yes. Dilbert: Are you saying yes I can order the hardware, or yes you'll look at it? Boss: Mumble mumble. Dilbert: What? Boss: I need your input on my Powerpoint deck. Dilbert: So far, in response to my request, you've given me ambiguity, mumbling, and a change of subject. Would you prefer that I badger you for an answer until you get angry, or should I return to my cubicle and resume being ineffective? Boss: You ask too many questions.
Tuesday July 05,
2011
Tags annoyance, apathy, choosing, comments, two alternatives, recommended option, more expensive
Transcript
Dilbert: Did you read my comments on the two alternatives? Boss: No. Dilbert: I recommended option two because neither plan will work but option one is way more expensive. Boss: I already approved option one. Dilbert: If you need any more help, just let me know.
Monday August 08,
2011
Tags announcements, meetings, communicate, other departments, criticize, war on knowledge
Transcript
Boss: We need to communicate less with other departments. The more they know about us, the more they criticize what we do. Dilbert: Is this part of your larger war on knowledge? Boss: That was the last thing I'll ever tell you.
Thursday August 18,
2011
Tags meetings, need input, worked backward, due date
Transcript
Man: I worked backward from the project due date and calculated that we'll need your input on this date. Dilbert: You have me finishing two weeks before I start. Man: Let's schedule a time to talk about that. Dilbert: Sure. How about two weeks ago?
Thursday September 08,
2011
Tags computer software, computers & peripherals, conversation, risk assessment tools, communicate, enhance sector
Transcript
Man: We need to enhance our sector-relevant support for a suite of integrated risk assessment tools. Do you understand? Dilbert: Maybe. Is your point that you don't know how to communicate? Man: No. Dilbert: Oh. Then I didn't get it.
Thursday September 29,
2011
Tags dont know, flashdrive, gadgets, hand, illness, where its been, data
Transcript
Coworker: I put the data on a Flash drive for you. Dilbert: Get that thing away from me. I don't know where it's been. Coworker: I hope you mean the Flash drive and not my hand. Dilbert: I did. But you raise a good point about the hand.
Saturday November 05,
2011
Tags embarrassment, obliviousness, hired consultant, less confident, overconfident people, don't recognize mistakes, didn't know studies, feel like idiot
Transcript
Boss: I hired a consultant to teach us how to be less confident. Dilbert: Is that because research has shown that overconfident people don't recognize their own mistakes? Boss: Now I feel like an idiot because I didn't know about those studies. Dogbert: I did him first.
Sunday January 29,
2012
Tags mobile (cell) phones, telephones, vendor, hardware, field, pony, ask alice, winners, bad connection
Transcript
Boss: Dilbert, listen carefully. I need you to... vendor... hardware... immediately. Dilbert: What? We have a bad connection. Boss: Field... the... grep... pony... budget. Dilbert: What? What? Boss: I have another call. Just ask Alice. Alice: How would I know what he wants? Leave me alone. Dilbert: I wonder how winners feel. Wally: I don't know. They never let me touch them.
Thursday February 09,
2012
Tags benefits, boss, employee, huge equity poistion, questing, start up, wear whatever, work at home
Transcript
Boss: We need to act more like a start-up. Dilbert: You mean I can wear whatever I want, work at home, and have a huge equity position in the company? Boss: Oh, I guess I didn't know what that meant.
Sunday April 01,
2012
Tags being freightened, creepy vibe, leadership, obsolete, public speaking, sense of urgency, thread the needle, tech platforms
Transcript
Dogbert: You need to imbue your staff with a sense of urgency. Boss: Gaaa!!! Our technology platforms are obsolete! Dogbert: Try it again with less panic. Boss: We're doomed, and yet, I am not the least bit worried. Dogbert: That one had a creepy vibe. A sense of urgency is halfway between being too frightened to act and too dumb to know what to do. Boss: Gaaa!!! Duh!!! Dogbert: You didn't quite thread the needle. Boss: Here comes leadership!