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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 02, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #dinosaur, #disciplinarian, #carnivorous, #resume

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Bob the Dinosaur reads the newspaper and says to Dogbert, "Here's a 'help wanted' ad for a babysitter." Bob says, "I could do that. Kids love dinosaurs." Dogbert says, "One problem." Dogbert explains, "Your species of know to be carnivorous." Bob replies, "I'll put 'strict disciplinarian' on my resume."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 20, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #mother nature, #earth, #planet, #recycle, #newspaper, #dolphins, #acid rain

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Dilbert: Please, mother nature, don't make me leave the earth!! Mother Nature: Don't talk back to me!! I work hard to give you a lovely planet, and look what you do to it! Dilbert: But... But I recycle newspapers! Mother Nature: Oh, well, excuse me. I guess the dolphins are safe, thanks to you. Dilbert: And I've noticed less acid rain since I started.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 03, 1991's comic on:


Tags #murder, #forever, #safe, #optimist, #pessimist, #1957, #due

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Dilbert sits in a chair reading the newspaper and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dilbert says, "Our town hasn't had a murder since 1957." The caption says, "Definition of an optimist." Dilbert thinks, "We're safe forever." The caption says, "Definition of a pessimist." Dogbert thinks, "We're due."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 01, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #elbonia, #reclassified, #third-world, #second-world, #plenty, #elbonians, #world relations

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Dilbert reads the newspaper and says, "The tiny nation of Elbonia has been reclassified from a third-world country to a second-world country." Dogbert asks, "Second?" Dilbert explains, "That means they have plenty to eat, but they don't like it." In Elbonia, an Elbonian mother puts a tray of food on the table. Her child says, "Airline food, again?!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #turtle, #pet, #teach, #tricks, #roll, #back, #die

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Dilbert sits in his chair reading the newspaper. Dogbert asks, "Do you mind if I get a turtle for a pet?" Dilbert replies, "That sounds cute. Maybe you can teach it to do tricks." Dogbert asks a giant turtle, "Can you do any tricks?" The turtle replies, "I can roll on my back and die."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 19, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #star, #lies, #money, #lawsuits, #angry, #tabloid, #devoted, #computer, #online

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Dogbert stands on a desk chair typing while Dilbert looks over his shoulder. Dogbert says, "I'm starting my own tabloid newspaper, the 'Dogbert Star.'" Dogbert explains, "All of the stories will be sensational lies about me . . . That way I'll save money on lawsuits." Dogbert types, "An angry Dogbert denied that his ego was so big he started a tabloid devoted entirely to himself."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 20, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #tabloid, #devoted, #lies, #impatience, #fools, #legendary, #choked, #man, #necktie, #stupid, #questions, #shoulder

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The caption says, "Dogbert starts a tabloid newspaper devoted to lies about himself." Dogbert stands on a desk chair and types. Dilbert asks, "Where do you get your ideas?" Dogbert types, "Dogbert's impatience with fools was legendary. He once choked a man by his necktie for asking stupid questions." Dilbert looks over Dogbert's shoulder as Dogbert types, "It happened one day when the fool was reading over Dogbert's shoulder and got too close."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 09, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #access, #news, #personal, #computer, #wrong, #paper, #article, #newspaper, #picture

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Dilbert says to Wally, "I just read that in a few years you will be able to access all of the news and information of the world from your personal computer." Dilbert continues, "You probably saw the same article in today's paper." Wally replies, "I don't read a paper." Dilbert thinks as he walks away, "What's wrong with this picture?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 18, 1991's comic on:


Tags #ratbert, #journal, #chiuahua, #lifestyle, #movie, #senseless, #brutality, #slapped, #strangely, #satisfying

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Ratbert sits on a rock writing in his journal. Ratbert writes, "Day one: I have disguised myself as a Chihuahua so I can experience their lifestyle and make a movie." Ratbert writes, "I have already seen the senseless prejudice and brutality against an innocent Chihuahua." Ratbert writes, "This morning I slapped myself with a rolled up newspaper for no apparent reason. It was strangely satisfying."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 1991's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #ratbert, #confirmation, #hearing, #supreme court, #character, #witness, #nominee, #hiney, #news, #liar, #nuts

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At Dogbert's confirmation hearing, a member of the Senate Judiciary Committee asks Ratbert, "Mister Ratbert, you've been called as a character witness." Ratbert says, "The nominee once called me a little hiney . . ." A picture of Ratbert appears on the front page of a newspaper. The headlines say "Liar!" and "Probably Nuts!!"