Next Meeting Comic Strips - Page 3
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1000 Results for Next Meeting
View 21 - 30 results for next meeting comic strips. Discover the best "Next Meeting" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday January 27,
1998
Tags #deputy of common sense, #four hour meeting, #behind schedule, #agenda, #morale is low
Transcript
During a staff meeting, Dogbert stands on the table holding his gun and says, "FREEZE!!" Dogbert is dressed as a policeman and says, "You scheduled a four-hour meeting to find out why people are behind schedule!" The guy says, "No, look at the agenda! The fourth hour is about why morale is so low. A woman next to him whispers to Dogbert, Shoot him."
Saturday June 30,
2001
Tags #meeting, #need bodies, #outnumbered, #marekting, #bucket head, #business
Transcript
Wally and Dilbert are walking by when the Boss signals for them to come with him and says, "Hey, Come to this meeting. I need some bodies." The Boss continues, "I don't want to be outnumbered by marketing." Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and another man sit at the table. A dummy body has been propped up next to Dilbert, with a bucket for a head. Dilbert turns and says, "Hi." The other man says, "He's on our side."
Saturday May 18,
2002
Tags #the ceo visit, #presentation, #bloated department, #eleiminate, #budget meeting, #marketing department
Transcript
Headline: The CEO Visit. The CEO says to The Boss, "Thanks for the presentation. Your department seems bloated." The CEO continues, "I'll eliminate half of your group in the next budget meeting." The Boss replies, "Thank you." Dilbert asks The Boss, "What are you going to do?" The Boss replies, "Nothing. I told him we're the marketing department."
Wednesday June 18,
2003
Tags #grabbed by hand, #my sales meeting, #dressed like god, #huge hand, #guy, #thought it would be funny, #hee hee
Transcript
The plane is shown being grabbed by a giant hand. A flight crew member announces, "Folks, please stay in your seats. We've been grabbed by a huge hand." The woman next to Dilbert looks terrified. Dilbert says, "I hope this has nothing to do with how I dressed for my sales meeting at the Vatican." Ratbert is watching television at home. A voice from the television says, "But it turned out to be a guy with a huge hand who said he 'thought it would be funny.'" Ratbert laughs, "Hee hee! Huge hand."
Saturday November 15,
2003
Tags #produce breakthrough, #meeting, #coach me, #higher perfromance, #no hope for progress, #business
Transcript
Dilbert: My project has no progress and no hope for progress. I scheduled a meeting is I can fantasize that it will produce a breakthrough. I recommend that we have a meeting next week so you can fantasize that your'll coach me to higher levels of performance. The Boss: Sounds good.
Monday August 16,
2004
Tags #meeting, #improve communication, #imitates boss, #business
Transcript
Man: I called this meeting so I could tell you the division's goals for next year. Alice: Thats a good idea because we're all so dumb that we coldly possibly read this in email. Goal one: Improve communication. ALiceL I can't. Im too dumb.
Sunday April 18,
1999
Tags #process manager, #process, #poorly manged, #intern, #no process, #voted out of meeting, #annoying
Transcript
Wally, Dilbert, the Boss, and others are in a meeting. The Boss introduces the woman next to him to the group. The Boss says, "Patty is our new 'process manager.'" The Boss continues, "Patty doesn't know how to DO anything." He adds, "She only knows how to do things BETTER!" Patty raises a finger, "Process!" Patty says, "For example, this meeting is poorly managed because you have no process." Patty, turning to Asok, continues, "And this intern obviously had no process for deciding whether to attend." The Boss raises his hand. He addresses the group, "Okay, Patty is annoying. All in favor of getting rid of her." The entire group, except for Patty, raises their hands. Asok looks like he's going to strangle her. As they all leave the meeting behind the dejected Patty, Dilbert says to her, "You lasted longer than Timmy the 'Facilitator.'"
Saturday December 27,
2008
Tags #anger, #annoyance, #business trip, #humor, #pleasure, #offsite meeting, #beelzebub inn, #disgruntled underling book
Transcript
Wally says, "Where's our pointy haired boss?" Carol says, "He's at an offsite meeting to decide who to lay off." Carol says, "Don't worry. I booked the meeting at the Beelzebub Inn. No one has ever returned from there." The Boss says, "If you don't like the accommodations, next time have your own disgruntled underling book a place."
Friday August 06,
2010
Tags #meeting, #introduce, #ellen, #useless, #annoyed, #waste, #protein, #network, #business
Transcript
Dilbert says, "?And this is Ellen. She has no legitimate reason for attending this meeting." Dilbert says, "I assume she's just nosey, or maybe it's a newworking sort of thing." Dilbert says, "And this guy is a total waste of protein." Ellen says, "Maybe next time we should introduce ourselves."
Wednesday October 06,
2010
Tags #meeting, #poison pill, #company takeover, #front, #surprise, #angry, #awkward, #uncomfortable, #skip, #pre-meeting, #business
Transcript
CEO says, "Mister Dogbert will describe our 'poison pill' strategy for preventing an unfriendly takeover." Dogbert says, "It turns out that no one wants to buy a criminally mismanaged quagmire. So you're all set." Dogbert says, "Maybe next time you won't skip the pre-meeting."