Nick Names Comic Strips - Page 3
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View 21 - 30 results for nick names comic strips. Discover the best "Nick Names" comics from Dilbert.com.
Dilbert sits at his desk. Dilbert thinks, "My patent application is complete. Soon the other engineers will come sniffing around." Dilbert thinks, "They are attracted by the scent of success. They want their names on my patent." Wally, Alice and Ted peer into Dilbert's cubicle. Alice says to Wally and Ted, "The scent CAN'T be coming from here." Ted says, "We may be getting a false positive from his baloney sandwich." They all sniff the air.
The Boss says, "Dilbert, I'd like you to introduce the new guy to everybody." Dilbert thinks, "Groan." The Boss walks away thinking, "This way I never have to learn their names." Dilbert tells the new guy, "The first stop on our odyssey is Bud." Dilbert says, "Uh . . . Bud, this is the new guy, and vice versa." The new guy smiles. Bud looks up from the newspaper and says, "What's this?! Another pink-bottomed, Ivy League, management 'trainee'?!" Bud shouts, "In MY day, you had to start at the bottom . . . And by golly, you STAYED there!!" The new guy asks, "How long have you worked here?" Bud replies, "A week . . . This happens pretty quickly."
Dilbert's mother sits on the couch drinking tea and Dilbert sits on the chair across from her. Dilbert says, "I spent all week tweaking HTML for my Intranet Web page. You should see it, Mom." Dilbert continues, "I converted the video of my birth into an MPEG file. Anyone behind the fire wall can view it." Dilbert continues, "You should hear the nickname they have for you at work!" Dilbert's mother replies, "You should hear the one I have for you right now."
Bob the dinosaur; gives wedgies to corporate people who deserve it. Budget analyst I don't understand any of our projects, I cut the ones with "E" In their names. BOB: What was that letter? analysts: EEEE! Engineers Wally: we doubled our costs, to add back up systems. Dilbert: You ant be too careful. Bob: two at once. In case one enjoys it. Wally: MMMM Marketing genius Market segmentation is the key. Dont improve the product just find dumber customers! Senior management BOB: These guys know how to delegate! You're the new VP of wedgies.
The Boss says to Wally and Dilbert, "Write on a scrap of paper the names of employees who do great work and put them in the hat in my office." Asok says, "And then do you select one name each week to receive valuable rewards?" The Boss says, "No, the scraps of paper make my hat more comfortable."
Alice enters The Boss' office and says, "My performance exceeds expectations but my pay is based on market averages." Alice continues, "I figure some underachievers are getting the extra money that I earn." Alice continues, "Give me their names so I can go get my money." The Boss replies, "It's Wally."
Dilbert answers his work phone, "Hi, this is Dilbert." The voice on the other end says, "Hi, I'm a business reporter for the Wall Times Post Gazette." The reporter says, "I'm doing a story about how dumb.. I mean dynamic... your new product line is." Dilbert comes home and tells Dogbert, "Then he promised not to print the amusing nickname I have for our CEO." Dogbert responds, "You are so dynamic."
"I plan to start my own television talk show." "I'll change my name to 'Doctor Dogbert' so people think I'm qualified to call them lazy, immoral fat morons." "You already call people those names." "Yeah, but I want them to thank me for it."
carol: "Hey, mullet-head, this is for you." "What did you call me?" "Oops. I used the secret nickname that everyone in the office has for you." "My work here is done." "It's just a little long in the back!"
Return of topper Asok: I found a rock that shaped like an egg. Topper: Thats nothing! I have rock thats shaped like nick lackey and jessica simpson. Asok: My rock just hatched! Its a fully clothed alien from a distant galaxy! Topper: Thats nothing`