No Screen Glare Comic Strips - Page 3
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104 Results for No Screen Glare
View 21 - 30 results for no screen glare comic strips. Discover the best "No Screen Glare" comics from Dilbert.com.
Monday January 17,
2005
Tags #discontinued chips, #crazy glare, #useless
Transcript
"Hey, Dilbert, can you update the yield numbers for our discontinued chips?" "Well, if I have to choose between being rude and doing something useless..." "Consider my crazy glare." "I guess I'll start being useless."
Monday November 07,
2005
Tags #dance club, #allow anyone, #screen potential customers, #dance moves, #incorporated air guitar
Transcript
I opened a dance club that's so exclusive I don't allow anyone in. "I personally screen every potential customer until I find a reason to exclude." "Have your dance moves ever incorporated the air guitar?" "Yes."
Sunday April 23,
2000
Tags #complain about work load, #ounce of prevention, #pound of assignments, #working day and night, #projects, #assignments, #deliverables, #must do items, #action items, #frie drills, #dog and pony shows, #glare problem
Transcript
Wally is leaned back in his chair sleeping. Wally awakens, looks at his wrist watch and thinks to himself, "It's time to complain about my workload." As Wally walks away from his desks, he thinks "An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of asignments." Wally goes into the Boss' office to complain about his workload. He says to the Boss, "I'm working day and night!" Wally goes on to explain. "I've got projects, assignments, deliverables, tasks..." The Boss sits at his desk listening to Wally. Wally continues, "...must -do items, fire drills, and dog and pony shows." The Boss, having ignored everything Wally just said, hands Wally a piece of paper and says "Wally, I have an assignment for you." Wally is surprised. Back at his desk, Wally is again leaned back in his chair, faced covered with the piece of paper the Boss handed him earlier, as he thinks to himself, "I solved my glare problem."
Sunday November 25,
2012
Tags #annoyance, #screen savers, #company logo, #corporate rule, #agenda, #meeting, #business
Transcript
Boss: First on the agenda, we're standardizing all screen savers to be our company logo. Second, our CEO is having a contest to see who can suggest the most useless corporate rule to eliminate. Wally: I nominate the nee screen-saver rule. Boss: You can't nominate that one. It's too new. Dilbert: Why does that matter? Isn't it better to kill it before it gets implemented? Boss: It's too soon! It's just too soon! Dilbert: Fine. Boss: Fine. Wally: I nominate whatever is next on the agenda.
Wednesday March 20,
2013
Tags #schedule, #boos, #secretary, #desk, #inquiry, #glare, #time alotted
Transcript
The Boss; whats on my schedule? Carol: For the next five minutes you're scheduled to glare at me like an idiot. Carol: Four minutes to go.
Thursday December 13,
2007
Tags #mordac, #preventer of information services, #network changes, #on vacation, #3 weeks, #russian submarine, #arctic circle, #blank screen, #coincidence
Transcript
Mordac, The preventer of information services Mordac: "I made some changes to the network that I alone understand." "I didn't have time to test it, but if there is a problem, I'll be on vacation for three weeks in a Russian submarine below the Arctic circle." The Boss: "My screen just went blank." Mordac: "Let's chalk that up to coincidence."
Wednesday March 12,
2014
Tags #competition (psychology), #mobile (cell) phones, #money, #tiny screen, #enormous phone, #expensive, #paid mortgage, #phone with tiny screen
Transcript
Topper: I see you have a phone with a tiny screen. That must be embarrassing compared to my enormous phone. Dilbert: Is it expensive? Topper: It paid off my mortgage by mining Bitcoins. Topper
Sunday May 04,
2014
Tags #inventions, #thinking, #product ideas, #billion dollar ideas, #unwilling, #corporation, #dumb person idea, #pretend, #drone that attacks, #wooden screen phone
Transcript
Boss: Does anyone have any billion-dollar product ideas? Dilbert: There's a logical problem with that question. If I had a billion-dollar idea, I would quit this job and start my own company. Only a dumb person would give you his best idea for free. And the best idea from a dumb person is still dumb. But I am willing to give you some ideas that are too lame for my own use. Boss: Can you at least pretend to suggest good ideas? Dilbert: Sure. How about a phone with a wooden screen? Wally: How about a drone that attacks anyone who looks at it?
Monday May 26,
2014
Tags #business ethics, #crimes, #mobile (cell) phones, #large screen smartphone, #stealing, #life of crime, #chosen lifestyle
Transcript
Boss: You have a large-screen smartphone, and yet you don't work while walking from one place to another. That's like stealing from the company. Dilbert: I didn't realize I had chose a life of crime. Dogbert: And you're not even doing it right.
Wednesday July 07,
2021
Personal Growth
Tags #pandemic, #positive, #personal growth, #lockdown, #afraid, #fear, #prison, #life of crime, #attraction, #empathy, #people, #screen faces
Transcript
dilbert: one positive thing about the pandemic is all the personal growth i had during the lockdown. for example, i'm no longer afraid of going to prison, so... a life of crime is more attractive than ever. dogbert: did you lose your empathy for other people? dilbert: you mean the screen faces?