Not Intended To Punish Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

34 Results for Not Intended To Punish

View 21 - 30 results for not intended to punish comic strips. Discover the best "Not Intended To Punish" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #exceeding expectations, #padding objectives, #whistle blower, #award

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "As you know, I'm the only employee who is not exceeding expectations." Wally says, "You should punish the others for unscrupulously padding their objectives! Those lying weasels!!" Wally asks The Boss, "Can I get a Whistle-Blower Award for this?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #objectives are vague, #unmeasurable, #not inspired, #achieve full ptential, #bad job

View Transcript

Transcript

"I am concerned because my objectivess are vague and unmeasurable." "As a result, I am not inspired to achieve my full potential... and... um..." "Did I just say I'm doing a bad job and ask you to punish me?" "That's what I heard."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #cruelty, #maintenance plan, #managers & supervisors, #over budget, #take chances, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Should we buy the maintenance plan or just take our chances? What do you prefer? Boss: I prefer to punish you for buying the maintenance plan and going over budget, but I also don't mind firing you for not buying it if we later need it. Which one of us has a better job?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #customer service, #credit card expense, #reimbursement, #late fees, #punish, #devil, #hell, #rock, #sit at computer

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "It takes you two months to process my company credit card expense reimbursement." Dilbert says, "So I get in trouble every month for incurring late fees." Dilbert says, "Why must I be punished for your incompetence?" Devil says, "Apparently I'm awesome."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #leadership, #assignment, #describing, #happy, #ridiculous

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert the CEO Dogbert says, "Ratbert you're my new VP of sales." Dogbert says, "Your job is to set impossible goals for the salespeople and punish them for failing." Ratbert says, "Yay! I always wanted to be a sadist!" Dogbert says, "Dreams do come true."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #employees, #managers & supervisors, #power (social sciences), #boss, #emplyee, #team members, #decisions, #all equal, #saprtacus, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: I dislike the words "boss" and "employee." From now on, we are all "team members." I'll be the team member that makes the decisions and gets paid the most. You'll be the team members I punish when things go wrong. Dilbert: But otherwise we are all equal? Boss: Whoa! Calm down, Spartacus.

Dilbert Goes To Jail

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Dilbert Goes To Jail - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #guilt, #innocence, #cyborg, #crime, #criminal, #fair, #fairness, #punishment, #jail, #responsibility

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: You're arresting me for killing Ted, but a bug in my cyborg components made me do it. If I go to jail, you will remove the cyborg parts that caused the trouble and punish the organic parts of me that are innocent. Police Officer: It's funny when you put it that way.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #credit, #motivation, #obliviousness, #hiring, #logic, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: The secret to success is hiring the right people. Dilbert: Then why doesn't everyone do that? Boss: It takes a lot of skill to hire the right people. Dilbert: Did you just find a way to take all of the credit for the team's success? And did you do it in a clever way that was intended to make you look humble even while hogging all the credit? Boss: I also motivate you. Dilbert: You're money?

Punishment By Talking

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Punishment By Talking - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #deadline, #time, #time management, #managers, #perspective

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Why is your project taking so long? Dilbert; It isn't. It only seems like a long time to you because you don't know how to do anything. Boss: I know how to punish you for being late. Dilbert: Does it involve talking to me while I'm trying to work?

Delegating

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Delegating - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #workload, #productivity, #progress

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I worked all weekend and finished my project early. Now I don't have all of that stress hanging over me. Feels great! Unless you plan to punish me for my productivity. Boss: I call it delegating.