Obliviousness Comic Strips - Page 3
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122 Results for Obliviousness
View 21 - 30 results for obliviousness comic strips. Discover the best "Obliviousness" comics from Dilbert.com.
Saturday November 23,
2013
Tags managers & supervisors, obliviousness, great leader, hires good people, no budget, micromanaging, half wits, afford, business
Transcript
Boss: A great leader hires good people and gives them the freedom to do their jobs. But I don't have the budget to hire good people, so I settle for micromanaging the half-wits I can afford. Catbert: Your boss was just in here saying the same thing.
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday December 02,
2013
Tags complaining, obliviousness, thinking, perspectives, benefits, thought diveristy, all idiots
Transcript
Boss: I hired people who have different perspectives so we could enjoy the benefits of thought diversity. But they disagree with everything I say, so I have to assume they're all idiots. Am I right? Catbert: Totally.
Tuesday January 28,
2014
Tags obliviousness, terrorists, weapons, fleet small drones, customers, infidels, design guy, mullah john smith
Transcript
Boss: We won the bid to build a fleet of small drones for retail package delivery. I'm not sure why they call their customers infidels, but I doubt that's important. You'll be working with their design guy, who's name is Mullah John Smith.
Sunday March 02,
2014
Tags obliviousness, thinking, judge them, chipmunk, judge algebra, complex and useful, innovative circuit design, engineer, office setting, desks, computers, engineering
Transcript
Boss: Do you have any great ideas? Dilbert: How would I know? Boss: You could tell me your ideas and I'll judge them Dilbert: That's like asking a chipmunk to judge algebra. Boss: Are you comparing me to algebra? Dilbert: Sure, let's go with that. Boss: That makes sense because algebra is complex and useful... just like me. Dilbert: So... what do you think of this innovative circuit design? Boss: It's um... fine? Dilbert: Said the chipmunk to the engineer.
Tuesday February 25,
2014
Tags business ethics, obliviousness, million units, customers happy, our goals, their goals, this quarter
Transcript
CEO: Our goal is to ship a million units this quarter. Dilbert: Do we have any goals that involve making customers happy? CEO: I'm talking about our goals, not their goals. Boss: Totally different.
Monday April 21,
2014
Tags big business, money, obliviousness, travel budget, business travel, long term profitability, budget frozen
Transcript
Boss: The travel budget is frozen so we can meet our income estimates for this quarter. Dilbert: Is that because all business travel is a waste of time or because we no longer care about long-term profitability? Take as long as you need. Boss: Um...
Saturday May 10,
2014
Tags electronic mail, obliviousness, business plan, email about plan, rambling and disjointed, no understanding of problem, proposed solution, havent sen email
Transcript
Boss: Did you see my email about your business plan? Dilbert: Was it a rambling and disjointed email that showed no understanding of the problem or the proposed solution? Boss: No. Dilbert: Oh. Then apparently I haven't seen it.
Saturday June 14,
2014
Tags chocolate, obliviousness, dark chocolate, brain works better, magical thinking, fad chasing, eating, three pounds
Transcript
Boss: I ate three pounds of dark chocolate and it made my brain work better. Now I realize that everything I've done in my career up to this point has been magical thinking and fad-chasing. What should I do? Catbert: Stop eating chocolate.
Sunday July 13,
2014
Tags big business, business ethics, obliviousness, core competencies, automating things, worshipping stars quo, steve jobs, reanimated body, making lapses, fiduciary responsibility, hearing what we want
Transcript
Dilbert: I did a study of our core competencies. It seems we're very good at automating things that we shouldn't be doing in the first place. But that's not all we're good at. We're also good at worshipping the status quo as if it were Steve Jobs' reanimated body. And no one is as good at masking lapses in fiduciary responsibility. Lastly, we're good at hearing what we want to hear. Boss: So... we're good at automating things?
Wednesday July 02,
2014
Tags managers & supervisors, obliviousness, son to work, Advice, age, idiots, career decisions, expecting, unforeseen problems, business
Transcript
Carol: I brought my son to work. Do you have any career advice for him? Dilbert: All boys your age are idiots. If you make any career decisions today, your life will forever be determined by an idiot. Boss: Are we expecting any unforeseen problems today? Dilbert: But you get used to it.

