One Or The Other Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

1000 Results for One Or The Other

View 21 - 30 results for one or the other comic strips. Discover the best "One Or The Other" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #stress, #meltdown cubicle, #theoretical workload limit, #brains full, #becomes overdue, #projects overdue, #tasks, #urgent, #funny noise, #missed dead line

View Transcript

Transcript

Voice: Meltdown in cubicle 459540! Dilbert: That's Te. He must have reached his T.W.L. Asok: His what? Dilbert: Theoretical workload limit. In layman's terms, his brain is full. It starts when just one of your projects becomes overdue. You end up spending all of your time explaining why you didn't get it done. That makes all of your other projects overdue. When ever task become urgent, your brain can't decide what to do next. Brains make a funny noise when they shut down. Noise: Poink. Asok: Uh-oh. I just missed a deadline. Wally: And so it begins.

Top Dilbert Searches

marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #administrative agencies, #project timeline, #waste one week, #set up meeting, #available in a week

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: I estimated the project timeline by assuming that everyone involved will waste one week. Boss: That's a stupid way to do a timeline. Set up a meeting and I'll show you how it's supposed to be done. Carol: He's available in a week.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anger, #honesty, #moving, #new offcie, #sounds weird, #real one, #save the attitude

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally says, "I can't help on your project this week because we're moving to a new office." Dilbert says, "It sounds weird because it's true." Wally says, "I like to throw in a real one every now and then." Wally says, "You might want to save that attitude for the next round."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #blaming, #quarreling, #work independantly, #close eyes, #fall back, #better than other people

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Today you'll learn how to work independently. In this exercise, I want you to put your arms at you side, close your eyes, and fall backward. Noise: Thud thud thud. Dogbert: And it's still better than working with other people.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #absent mindedness, #annoyance, #status upadte, #multitask, #one task, #doubling rate of failure, #useless blob of carbon

View Transcript

Transcript

Alice: Seriously? You're going to do email while I give my status update? Boss: Don't worry. I can multitask. Alice: Multitask? you can barely do one task properly. All you're doing is doubling your rate of failure. Congratulations on becoming the most useless blob of carbon in the universe. Boss: What? Sorry. I missed that. Alice: I said my project is on schedule. Boss: Okay. Great. Alice: This totally works for me.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #research facilities, #work home, #2 days, #twice as prodcutive, #elaborate science experiment, #commute to sit in box, #control group, #frustration

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: Can I work at home for two days per week? I can be twice as productive, and happier at the same time. Boss: I probably shouldn't tell you this... but you're part of an elaborate science experiment to see how much frustrations it takes to kill employees. Why else would the company make you commute for two hours a day just to sit in a tiny box? Don't feel bad: no one told me either. I had to piece it together from the evidence. Now I do my part to keep the experiment moving along. Dilbert: Other people work from home. Boss: Are you referring to the control group?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #announcements, #meetings, #communicate, #other departments, #criticize, #war on knowledge

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: We need to communicate less with other departments. The more they know about us, the more they criticize what we do. Dilbert: Is this part of your larger war on knowledge? Boss: That was the last thing I'll ever tell you.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #couples, #dating, #play games, #guess the lie, #say 2 things, #dating games, #obvious things, #relationships

View Transcript

Transcript

Woman: Let's play a game. We each say two things about ourselves and the other has to guess which one is a lie. Dilbert: I love to play games like that. My second thing is that I eat food.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #computers & peripherals, #gadgets, #hardware, #robotic arms, #hold coffee cups, #industry changing products

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: One percent of engineers create all of the industry - changing products. I propose replacing the other 99% with robotic arms that hold coffee cups. You won't see any of the laggards in the 99% come up with great ideas like this one.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
- Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #anxiety, #monsters, #supernatural beings, #beware of bogeyman, #bad parenting, #one over par, #everyhole

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok: My mother always told me to beware the bogeyman. Dilbert: That was bad parenting. There's no such thing as the bogeyman. Boss: I was one over par on every hole. Let me tell you all about it.