Search Results for "outside"
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Character
Monday May 07,
2012
Tags #interviewed users, #suggestions, #idiots, #dumb suggestions, #hindsight
Transcript
Dilbert: We interviewed hundreds of users and turned all of their suggestions into features. As it turns out, every user we talked to was an idiot, and their dumb suggestions ruined our product. In hindsight, we probably should have talked to people who work outside this building.
Saturday June 24,
1989
Transcript
The caption says, "Dogbert demonstrates the art of puns. Step #1: 'The Set-up.'" Dilbert sits in his chair and Dogbert sits on Dilbert's legs. Dogbert says, "Tell me again about your uncle the famous biologist." Dilbert says, "Uncle Albert won many awards for his work in breeding sea anemonies. Sadly, he had little time for a social life." The caption says, "Step #2: 'The Delivery' (from outside of swatting range)." Dogbert stands in the doorway and says, "With anemonies like that, who needs friends?"
Friday August 04,
1989
Tags #Dilbert, #coffee, #third-degree
Transcript
Dilbert walks away from the coffee machine holding a cup of coffee. Dilbert says, "Now for the hard part: getting back to my desk without third-degree wrist burns." Dilbert screams. Dilbert stands outside his cubicle rubbing his wrist after spilling the coffee on the floor. Dilbert says, "I don't care for the taste, but it DOES keep me alert."
Monday March 26,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #painter, #painting, #art, #landscape, #outside, #interrupting
Transcript
Painter: Excuse me... Sir? I'm trying to paint this view. Would you mind not walking right in front of me? Dilbert: Oops. Sorry. Painter: It's already too late.
Monday April 23,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #boss, #job, #sez, #raise, #bench, #outside, #project, #stupid
Transcript
Dilbert, Dogbert and a man sit on a park bench. The man says, ". . . So then I sez to my boss, 'You can just stuff this stupid project . . .'" The man continues, "Then I sez, 'Let's see YOU do this job.' And I sez, 'I should get a raise.' I gotta go." Dogbert says, "The more they sez 'I sez,' the less likely it is they really said what they sez they said."
Wednesday June 27,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #dilbert's, #invention, #blow, #empty, #mail, #truck, #sneezing, #stranger
Transcript
Dogbert stands outside the post office truck yard holding the Sonic Obliterator. Dogbert says, "On one hand, I know it's wrong to use Dilbert's invention to blow up these empty mail trucks." Dogbert says, "On the other paw, this is gonna be more fun than sneezing on strangers." Dogbert continues, "It's a moral dilemma . . . But I like to think that difficult choices like this build character." Dogbert presses the trigger.
Saturday September 08,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #mineral spa, #evil, #capitalism, #scams, #hose, #water
Transcript
A man stands outside Dilbert's house and says to Dogbert, "Goodbye . . . I think your 'New Age Mineral Water Spa' has been a complete rip-off!" Dogbert turns on a hose and says, "I'm sorry you feel that way . . . Here's a free gallon of miracle hose water." Dilbert says, "You're an evil little dog." Dogbert points the hose at Dilbert and asks, "Thirsty?"
Monday October 29,
1990
Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #mildew, #flamethrower, #punk, #punk rock
Transcript
Dilbert tells Dogbert, "I hired a cleaning person to come in once a week." Dilbert continues, "Starting today." The doorbell rings. A man with a mohawk haircut and an eyepatch stands in the doorway. Dilbert says, "Hi . . . Uh . . . Leave the flame-thrower outside." The man replies, "Fine. Let's just surrender to the mildew . . ."
Wednesday April 24,
1991
Tags #news, #news reporter, #mysterious, #circles, #aliens, #crop circles, #crushed, #wheat, #starts, #one, #point, #outward, #formed, #around
Transcript
A television reporter holds a microphone and says, "I'm standing at the Wickford wheat fields outside of London, the site of mysterious giant circles, possibly caused by aliens." The reporter asks a man with a backpack, "How do you find these circles of crushed wheat?" The man answers, "My team of experts starts at one point and searches outward until . . ." The man looks behind him where a circle of people tramples the wheat field. He cries, "Good Lord! Another circle has formed around us!!"
Saturday June 08,
1991
Tags #English, #teacher, #woman, #Dogbert, #park bench, #neighbors, #park, #outside
Transcript
Dilbert sits on a park bench next to a woman who says, "Up I hicc!" The woman repeats, "Up I hicc!" The woman repeats, "Up I hicc! Up I hicc!" Dogbert thinks, "English teacher."