P Comic Strips - Page 3
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View 21 - 30 results for p comic strips. Discover the best "P" comics from Dilbert.com.
Mordac types a message to Ming. "Dearest Ming, My love for you is boundless. Mordac" Mordac continues his message. "P.S. If you don't stop putting food garbage in the recycling bin you will be terminated." Ming says to Dilbert after reading Mordacs message, "Never date your boss." Dilbert replies, confused "Okay."
Holding a binder in his hands, Wally thinks, "I hate working for tips." A female employee says, "No, I ordered the R.F.P." Wally says to the employee, "Maybe you were thinking R.F.P. but you said spec binder, you arrogant cow!" The employee grimaces as she holds the binder and Wally thinks, "With any luck, she'll say, 'You had me at cow'."
Headline: Stock Market Expert. Dogbert says in front of the camera, "...Everyone should buy stock in that company. Sell your house if necessary." A man replies into the camera, "Should we worry that the P/E is 900, your track record is terrible and you only recommend stocks you own?" The Boss is sitting in his office watching TV. Dogbert's voice is heard through the TV, "Well, Ron, as you can see from the one-week chart, this stock only goes up." The Boss says into the phone, "Buy! Buy!"
Tina says to Dilbert, "I'm signing up volunteers to serve food to the homeless on Christmas day." Dilbert responds, "How do you know in advance that they'll be extra hungry on that one day?" Tina responds, "Our P.R. firm makes sure they don't get fed for two days before the news crews arrive."
Dorie's Boss says to Dorie, "Dorie, send an e-mail: employees are leaving work too early." Dorie's Boss continues, "I was to see more cars in the parking lot after 6 p.m. otherwise, heads will roll!" Dorie responds, "You type your own e-mail." The Boss replies, "I can't do that AND do this menacing pose at the same time."
Catbert says to The Boss, "Write on Alice's performance review, 'Needs too much supervision.'" Catbert continues, "When she goes to your office to protest, say, 'See what I mean?'" Catbert finishes, "Ooh! That was so evil I need to purr with my lips!" He spits all over the boss while purring, "P-p-p-urr.. p-p-p-urrr.. p-p-p-p-urr."
Headline: Dogbert the Headhunter. Dogbert is meeting with a client. He says, "We'll need to reword the CEO section of your resume." Dogbert continues, "For example, there's never a right time to use the word 'plundered.'" Dogbert continues, "And instead of 'suckers ignored our P/E ratio,' say you 'enhanced stockholder value.'" The client replies, "Wow. You're good."
The Boss says to the costumed Asok, "I'm leaving early, in case I have a dental appointment or whatnot." The Boss puts his arm around Asok and says, "Walk amongst the cubicles until 7 p.m. and scowl at anyone who isn't working." Asok stands in Wally's cubicle with a scowl on his face. Wally replies, "Nice scowl. I feel slightly menaced."
Headline: P.R. for Elbonia. Dogbert is standing on a table. He addresses two Elbonians, "The media give you a bad rap for exporting leprechaun meat." Dogbert continues, "Our ad campaign will feature a leprechaun explaining that they enjoy being eaten." Ratbert is dressed up like a leprechaun in front of cameras. He is standing in a frying pan and holding a meat tenderizer. He says, "Elbonians are our best friends. Now excuse me while I tenderize myself."
Headline: P.R. for Elbonia. Dogbert is meeting with two Elbonians. Dogbert says, "You need to buy influence in Washington." Dogbert continues, "It sounds expensive, but it's a lot more affordable than you'd think." An Elbonian stands outside of a building in Washington D.C. He stops a politician and asks, "Gum?" The politician responds, "You got my vote!"