Package Ultra Light Comic Strips - Page 3

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133 Results for Package Ultra Light

View 21 - 30 results for package ultra light comic strips. Discover the best "Package Ultra Light" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 20, 1994's comic on:


Tags #dress codes don't apply, #fireing, #hire back, #more money, #reverence package, #telecommute, #two weeks vaction

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"Great news -- You're fired!" "You get a generous severance package, two weeks' vacation, AND we hire you back as a contractor for more money!!" "And I can telecommute if I want, but since dress codes don't apply to me..." "Aargh!" "Bonk, Bonk"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 31, 1994's comic on:


Tags #jar, #soul of mail boy, #shake hold to light, #bargaining table, #union rights, #negotiating

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Dilbert: Whats in the jar? The Boss: Its the soul of the Willy Mail Boy. If you shake it real hard and hold it up to the light you can see it. Dilbert: The union didn't do to well at the old bargaining table this year. willy: These aren't our glory years.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 01, 1995's comic on:


Tags #staus report, #light, #email, #flame war, #technical surperiority, #simian ancestry, #obligation, #victims of hormones

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Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. Both of them look like they have been burned in a fire. Dilbert says, "My status report is a bit light this week because I'm having an e-mail flame war with Wally." Dilbert continues angrily, "Wally refuses to admit my technical superiority or his simian ancestry. It is my obligation to set him straight." Wally shakes his fist at Dilbert and shouts, "NEVER!!" Dilbert says, "I'm thinking this somehow elevates my rank in the herd and improves my mating possibilities." Wally says, "We're victims of hormones."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 08, 1995's comic on:


Tags #project status, #yellow light, #twelve seconds, #interface, #manual, #pure fiction, #need to do, #dummies book

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Dilbert, Wally, Alice and the Boss sit at a conference table. Dilbert says, "The project status is 'yellow light.'" Dilbert continues, "In user tests we found that the product locks up every twelve seconds. The interface is incomprehensible and the manual is pure fiction." Dilbert continues, "I think it's clear what we need to do . . ." The Boss asks, "Ship it and hope somebody writes a 'Dummies' book about it?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 05, 1995's comic on:


Tags #lousy vendor, #sales rep, #gorgeous, #field engineer, #without shirt, #indian chief, #maintenance package

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Alice stands behind Wally's desk and says, "I can't believe you're recommending this lousy vendor just because the sales rep is gorgeous." Wally hands Alice a photograph and says, "Here's a picture of Thor, their field engineer." Alice stares at the picture and asks, "Does he really work without a shirt?" Wally answers, "Only if you but the 'Indian Chief' maintenance package."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #wage, #benefits, #package, #disloyalty, #verbal, #abuse, #occasional, #legal, #problems, #twenty-four, #hours, #recognition, #positively, #giddy, #toaster

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Dogbert sits at a desk. Dilbert says, "Yes?" Dogbert says, "I'm demanding a new wage and benefits package." Dilbert says, "I already give you everything you want . . ." Dilbert continues, "And in return you give me disloyalty, verbal abuse and occasional legal problems." Dogbert says, "Okay, it's a good job, but I'm putting in twenty-four hours a day!" Dogbert continues, "I think I deserve some sort of special recognition for my good work." An "Employee of the Month" poster with Dogbert's picture hangs on the refrigerator. Dogbert says, "I'm positively giddy." Dilbert says, "You edged out the toaster by two votes."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 29, 1996's comic on:


Tags #presentation package, #worked 12 hrs, #creative, #stupor, #dementia, #worse

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Alice stands in front of the Boss's desk looking tired and disheveled. She hands some documents to the Boss and says, "Here's my presentation package. I worked twelve straight hours on it." Alice continues, "That includes three hours of creativity followed by nine hours of stupor, senseless twiddling and outright dementia." Alice says, "I suppose there's only one thing that could make this presentation worse." The Boss says, "Send it around for comments."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 20, 1997's comic on:


Tags #engineer, #gulty, #insufficient light, #major sin, #prince, #tech writer, #unnatural attraction, #leverage synergies, #engineering

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Phil the Ruler of Heck tells Tina, "You are guilty of being a technical writer with an unnatural attraction to an engineer." Phil leads Tina into Heck and says, "It's not a major sin, so you only go to Heck. I'm Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light." Phil leads Tina to a desk and says, "Sit down and type, 'I proactively leverage my synergies,' a hundred times." Tina screams, "No-o-o!!!"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 07, 1997's comic on:


Tags #despotic nations, #software license, #submit strip searches, #opening package

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Dilbert sits at his desk and reads the back of an envelope. He reads, "Software Licence: By opening this package you agree . . ." Dilbert reads, ". . . You will not make copies or export to despotic nations. You will submit to strip searches in your home . . ." Dilbert rips open the package. A large woman with a flashlight in her belt enters the room. She says, "Frankly, both of us would have been happier if you had just walked away."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #copier paper, #laser printer, #made mockery, #phil, #prince of inssufficient light, #punishment, #tracked speatrely, #borrowing paper

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"Copy Room" "Stop right there!" "It's Phil, the Prince of Insufficient Light." "What's in your hands?" "I'm just borrowing some paper for the laser printer. There's no law against that!" "I think we both know that the copier paper and the printer paper are purchased and tracked separately." "You've made a mockery of the system! I darn you to heck!" "Your punishment is to sit at the secretary's cubicle and endure the stale wit of your co-workers." "Hey, Wendy, there's something different about you today!"