Panic Comic Strips - Page 3
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36 Results for Panic
View 21 - 30 results for panic comic strips. Discover the best "Panic" comics from Dilbert.com.
Thursday September 30,
2010
Tags boss, employee, meeting, change, freak out, panic, mouth open, yell, eyes closed, death, business, medical
Transcript
The Boss says, "Don't be afraid of change, Asok." Asok says, "Okay. Wait. What?" Asok says, "You subtle implication is that I should change to be more like you!" The Boss says, "Bumpy start." Asok says, "I choose death!"
Thursday January 01,
2009
Tags confusion, fear, firings, humor, meeting, panic, downsized, spam folder, recession, intern, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "You still work here? I thought I downsized you last week." Asok says, "Um?I don't think so." The Boss says, "Check your spam folder after the meeting." Dilbert says, "First recession?"
Friday January 02,
2009
Tags fear, honesty, panic, reality, worried, first recession, hopes and dreams dashed, yank band aid
Transcript
Asok says, "This is my first recession. How worried should I be?" Wally says, "You'll be fine as long as you don't have any hopes and dreams." Asok says, "But I still have them." Wally says, "It's time to yank off that band-aid."
Monday January 26,
2009
Tags computers, internet, investing, screaming, panic, unemployed, technology
Transcript
Dilbert says, "I'm not stressed about being out of work because I have my investments. Let's see how they?" GAAAA!!! Dogbert says, "Maybe some warlords are hiring."
Thursday October 01,
2009
Tags sitting, reading, judging, reviewing, skills, lying, panic, diverting, attention
Transcript
Catbert: Evil director of human resources Catbert says, "According to your skills inventory, the only thing you are good at is?" Catbert says, "?diverting attention from your own lack of value." Wally says, "Is it just me, or is there a deadly gas leak in the building?" Catbert says, "Erk!"
Tuesday October 06,
2009
Tags job, panic, phrase, angry, offended, accusation, awkward, business
Transcript
The Boss says, "Asok, we're hosting a forum for human resources executives, and I need you to organize it." Asok the intern says, "Gaaa!!! That will be like trying to herd cats." Catbert says, "What did you just say?" Asok the intern says, "I'm not racist." Catbert says, "Denial is proof!"
Sunday June 07,
2009
Tags walking, talking, confused, analyzing, worried, panic, injury, Sports
Transcript
The boss says, "I can't understand why?" Dilbert says, "Why did you suddenly stop talking?" Dilbert says, "Oh no?this can't be good." Dilbert says, "Gaaa!!!! Now you're not making eye contact with me!" Dilbert says, "Layoffs are coming! I must be on the list!" Dilbert thinks, "My only hope is to injure myself and go on disability so he can't legally fire me." Dilbert says, "Ow! Ow! Ow!" The Boss says, "Anyway, as I was saying I can't figure out why so many employees are injured."
Sunday June 24,
2001
Tags email down, ancients do, combustible material, coworker scared, hold me, entire life, hug, bad hug, have coffee, drop off
Transcript
Dilbert sits in front of his computer. He screams, "GAAA!! E-mail is down!" Dilbert thinks to himself, "Don't panic...think...how would the ancients handle this?" Dilbert stands at the entrance to his cubicle and thinks, "I've got combustible materials...I can start some sort of fire." Susan walks into Dilbert's cubicle and says, "E-mail is down...Hold me." Dilbert allows Susan to hug him, holding his arms out ahead of him. He thinks, "I'll keep my arms straight out so I don't seem too eager." Dilbert continues thinking, while Susan hugs him, "This may be the least satisfying hug of my entire life." Wally walks into the cubicle and says, "E-mail is working again." Carol asks, "So, would you like to have some coffee?" Dilbert answers, "Sure! I'll be doing my e-mail. Just drop it off."
Thursday October 30,
2014
Tags experience, inexperience, panic, viable prodcut, feature list, deck, first day, no respect, inexperienced guy
Transcript
Inexperienced Guy. Boss: Put together a deck showing the minimum viable product feature list. Employee: What is a deck? What is a minimum viable product? How would I know what the features are? Boss: I have no respect for people who ask questions. Employee: First day, not good.
Sunday September 27,
2015
Tags illusion, strategy, business, executives, bluff, bluffing
Transcript
CEO: Revenue is dropping, but don't panic. We have a new strategy that will fix everything. Dilbert: How do you know it's a good strategy. CEO: I can tell by looking at it. Dilbert: Why don't all failing companies create great new strategies and become profitable? CEO: Hmmm. Good question. Dilbert: Maybe it's because no one can tell a good strategy from a bad one, but acting like you know the difference gets you a bigger paycheck. CEO: I just need buy-in for the strategy. Wally: If you give me a raise, I can pretend to know it's good.
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