Part Of Humanity Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

240 Results for Part Of Humanity

View 21 - 30 results for part of humanity comic strips. Discover the best "Part Of Humanity" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 20, 2005's comic on:


Tags #important, #month to fisnish, #last minute, #unreasonable deadline, #freaky part

View Transcript

Transcript

"Asok, this is important but you have month to finish it." Asok: "I'll start right away." Wally: "It's smarter to wait until the last minute and then make a big show of how harding you're woring to meet the unreasonable deadline." Asok: "You said that right in front of him." Wally: "It's still work that's the freaky part"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 23, 2005's comic on:


Tags #medical procedure, #attractive to opposite sex, #remove body part, #sounds painful

View Transcript

Transcript

There's a medical procedure that will make you more attractive to the opposite sex. "The doctors would remove part of your body and replace them with the parts from an attractive guy." "It sounds painful." "Not if you do it all at once."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share April 11, 2006's comic on:


Tags #trigger automatic promotion, #be that employee, #part of team, #not special

View Transcript

Transcript

I need to have one more direct report and it will trigger an automatic promotion for me. "Your job is to be that employee." "How's it feel to be part of the team?" "Not as special as I'd hoped."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 23, 2008's comic on:


Tags #firing, #humorless stain, #interview boss, #soul of humanity, #support thesis, #worship satan

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: The Dogbert gazette is doing a story on your firing of an employee for posting a comic on the wall. I need some quotes that support my thesis of you being a humorless stain on the soul of humanity. Would you say you worship satan, or do you simply respect his nonsense approach to discipline?

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share July 15, 2008's comic on:


Tags #brain, #part of brain, #controls morality, #the natural, #glows from within

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "My doctor says everything is fine except for the part of my brain that controls morality." The Boss says, "Gasp! The management prophesies are true. You must be the one they call..." Catbert says, "THE NATURAL?!!" The Boss says, "He glows from within."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 21, 2010's comic on:


Tags #recipe, #leadership, #hard part, #strategy, #hand over papers, #season, #pinch

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert says, "I collected optimistic data, put it in the context of bad analogies, seasoned it with saliency bias?" Dilbert says, "?Added herd instinct, a pinch of confirmation bias? and here's your strategy." Dilbert says, "Just add leadership." The Boss says, "Why do I always get the hard part?"

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 13, 2010's comic on:


Tags #recalibarating, #faith in humanity, #reading opinions, #message boards

View Transcript

Transcript

Dilbert: what are you up to? Im recalibrating my lack of faith in humanity, dilbertL will this take long? Dogbert: no, I start by reading opinions awn message boards and.... Dilbert: I can come back later. Dogbert: You ignorant juice bag

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 24, 2010's comic on:


Tags #talk over people, #jumbled typ face, #escalate, #lisening, #fun part

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert says, "I've decided to escalate my anti-social behavior from not listening, to actively talking over other people." Dilbert says, "How can you enjoy the conversation of others if you don't listen?" Dogbert says, "This could be one of the best ideas I've ever had." Dogbert says, "It all came together when I realized that listening isn't the fun part."

Thank you for voting.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 02, 2011's comic on:


Tags #annoyance, #eating & drinking, #lunchtime, #trivial decions, #lose faith, #humanity, #no hope, #vending machine, #fatasize, #competent coworkers

View Transcript

Transcript

Man says, "Dilbert, would you like to join us for lunch?" Dilbert says, "Where are you going?" Man says, "We haven't decided." Dilbert says, "In that case, no." Dilbert says, "I can't stand watching a small group of people trying to make a trivial decision." Dilbert says, "It makes me lose all faith in humanity." Dilbert says, "Food doesn't taste as good when you have no hope." Dilbert says, "I'll just get somehting from the vending machine and fantasize that my co-workers are competent." Dilbert says, "Let's see... what goes well with an unrealistic worldview?"

Purchasing Did Not Order Part

Thank you for voting.
Purchasing Did Not Order Part - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 12, 2018's comic on:


Tags #delays, #excuses, #laziness, #work ethic, #scapegoat, #deadline, #delay

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: The purchasing department rejected my request for a key system part because of a typo on their form. But they didn't tell me for three months, so now my product launch will be delayed by that much. Boss: But they finally ordered the part? Wally: I call that unknowable.