Perfectly Safe Comic Strips - Page 3
63 Results for Perfectly Safe
View 21 - 30 results for perfectly safe comic strips. Discover the best "Perfectly Safe" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share October 26, 2011's comic on:
Boss: Our CEO needs an underling to drink our industrial sludge at a press conference to prove it's safe. Asok: Um... is there some reason he doesn't do it himself? Boss: Yes, but I forget the details. It was something about the risk of brain worms.
Share October 27, 2011's comic on:
CEO: I will prove our industrial sludge is safe by forcing an intern to drink a glass of it. Voice: That's stupid. We want to see you drink it yourself. CEO: See if you can reach that guy in the second row with a spit take.
Share May 14, 2012's comic on:
CEO: Settle down, honey. I didn't ask for your opinion. I'm telling you what we're going to do. Dilbert: Gaaa!!! Lower the containment unit! She's going to blow. CEO: When will it be safe? Dilbert: Right after you die.
Share September 20, 1990's comic on:
Dilbert: Please, mother nature, don't make me leave the earth!! Mother Nature: Don't talk back to me!! I work hard to give you a lovely planet, and look what you do to it! Dilbert: But... But I recycle newspapers! Mother Nature: Oh, well, excuse me. I guess the dolphins are safe, thanks to you. Dilbert: And I've noticed less acid rain since I started.
Share February 02, 1994's comic on:
Share July 05, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Let's have a little premeeting to prepare for the meeting tomorrow." Dilbert says, "Whoa! Do you think it's safe to jump right into the premeeting without planning it?" The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Okay, let's get this preliminary premeeting meeting going." Wally says to Dilbert, "You think you're funny, but you're not."
Share March 24, 1997's comic on:
The Boss stands behind Dilbert's desk and says, "I studied your technical recommendation and decided it's impossible." Dilbert replies, "I already did it." The Boss says, "It will never work." Dilbert replies, "It's working perfectly." The Boss points to the document and says, "You spelled this word wrong." Dilbert says, "That's a number."
Share April 04, 1998's comic on:
Wally, Alice, and Dilbert are meeting. Wally says, "Alice is overdosing on antidepressants." Dilbert says, "We must induce vomiting." Wally holds a piece of paper in front of Alice's face. Wally says, "Look at our mission statement, Alice. The people who wrote it earn ten times your salary." Dilbert comes home disheveled. Dilbert says to Dogbert, "The plan worked perfectly, up to the point where all three of us were having and Alice was punching us."
Share July 09, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert approaches the Boss and says, "We desperately need another person on my project!" The Boss replies, "We're already over headcount. Get a contract employee." Dilbert says, "Okay, but they cost twice as much." Dilbert says, "Plus we need to buy a computer." The Boss says, "Rent one. We're over our capital budget." Dilbert replies, "Renting is expensive. We'll go over our expense budget." The Boss says, "I'll fire Wally. That will free up some cash." Dilbert throws his arms up in frustration and says, "Wally's on my project!" Dilbert shouts, "Forget it! I'll just work sixteen hours a day!!" The Boss thinks, "That worked out perfectly. I think I might be a genius or something." The Boss sits at his desk and thinks, "I wonder if I should have told him the project was cancelled last week."
Share October 19, 1997's comic on:
Catbert sits at his computer terminal. The monitor dispalys a picture of Wally, labeled Victims. Catbert thinks, "You're next." Catbert stands in Wally's cubicle and says, "Wally, you've been randomly selected for an employee drug test." Wally says, "Randomly? Why am I the only one who gets picked every week?!" Catbert says, "You're very unlucky at work. But I'm sure you compensate by being lucky at love." Catbert laughs a maniacal laugh. Catbert says, "Anyway... our new drug test uses hair samples." Catbert holds a little box and says, "To be safe, give me six hairs... and one whole eyebrow." Catbert walks off with his box, purring. He thinks, "I'll come back in an hour and says I lost the box."