Personal Errands Comic Strips - Page 3

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146 Results for Personal Errands

View 21 - 30 results for personal errands comic strips. Discover the best "Personal Errands" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share August 12, 1990's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #Dilbert, #engineer, #lightbulb, #jokes, #personal, #steamroller, #equator

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Dogbert stands behind Dilbert's desk and asks, "Want to hear some engineer jokes?" Dilbert replies, "No." Dogbert says, "How many engineers does it take to change a lightbulb?" Dogbert says, "Six: one to hold the bulb and five to argue about how to rotate it on this side of the equator." Dogbert giggles. Dogbert says, "What's the difference between a fungus and an engineer? A fungus can grow on you . . ." He laughs. Dogbert asks, "What do you call a dog that's been run over by a steamroller?" Dilbert says, "Spot." Dogbert leaves the room and says, "We were having such a good time until he started getting personal."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 19, 1996's comic on:


Tags #decided, #start smoking, #add interesting edge, #personality, #need help, #personal magnetism, #erase hard drive, #psychology

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Wally tells Alice, "I've decided to start smoking. I'll be able to take more breaks that way." Wally continues, "And frankly, I'm hoping it will add an interesting edge to my personality and help me socially." Alice reaches into a box. Wally continues, "Not that I need any help." Alice says, "I can only pray that your personal magnetism won't erase my hard drive."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 19, 1997's comic on:


Tags #chair the fun commitee, #improve morale, #internet, #personal reasons, #technology

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The Boss stands behind Wally's desk and says, "Wally, two things . . ." The Boss says, "Number one, I want you to chair the 'fun committee' to improve employee morale." The Boss says, "Two, according to this report, you've been using the Internet for personal reasons."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 22, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil, #executed, #hr driector, #ill be fired, #internet, #non buiness, #personal thoughts, #sadistic policies, #senseless, #warning, #mass email, #technology

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Catbert stands at his desk and types, "Any employee who uses the Internet for non-business purposes will be fired." Catbert types, "And any employee who sits in a company chair while having a personal thought will be executed by security." Catbert smiles and thinks, "The great thing about senseless, sadistic policies is that they don't require a lot of explanation."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 1997's comic on:


Tags #two hour meeting, #friday night, #tina, #no personal life, #useless meetings, #void, #insane, #have a meeting

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Tina tells Dilbert and Wally, "I scheduled a two-hour T.H.N.P.L. meeting for seven o'clock on Friday night." Tina explains, "T.H.N.P.L stands for 'Tina has no personal life.' I'm scheduling useless meetings to fill the void in my life." Dilbert says, "Tina, this is insane." Tina asks, "Are you suggesting we have a meeting to discuss it? Is Saturday okay?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 30, 1997's comic on:


Tags #new personal crusade, #hunt down people, #strong opinions, #bop them, #everyone on earth

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Dogbert stands on a table and says to Dilbert, "I have a new personal crusade." Dogbert holds a cardboard tube. Dogbert says, "I'm going to hunt people down who have strong opinions on subjects they don't understand. Then I'll bop them with this cardboard tube." Dilbert says, "That would include everyone on Earth except you and me." Dogbert says, "Lean over here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share October 14, 1997's comic on:


Tags #Dogbert, #mutual fund, #past performance, #no indication, #future perfromance, #strategy, #entire investment, #personal expenses, #talking to wall

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Dogbert sits behind a large desk. He says to a potential investor, "As you know, past performance is no indication of future performance." Dogbert continues, "So my strategy is to use your entire investment for my personal expenses and see what happens." The investor says, "Has that strategy ever worked before?" Dogbert says, "Geez, it's like I'm talking to a wall here."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 07, 1998's comic on:


Tags #email monitoring system, #personal message, #unpaid overtime, #cluelessness in vicinity, #manipulating emplyee

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The Boss stands behind Alice at her desk. He reads from a sheet of paper and says, "Out new e-mail monitoring system shows that you sent a personal message last week." Alice looks non-plussed. Alice sticks her thumbs in her ears and waves her hands. She says, "Coincidentally, the new Alice monitoring system detects twenty hours of unpaid overtime." The Boss thinks, "According to the manual, productivity will soar now." Alice says, "Beep.. beep.. boop.. now detecting cluelessness in the vicinity."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 21, 1998's comic on:


Tags #Catbert, #evil hr diretor, #personal lives, #strict dress code, #homes, #one less decision, #make every day

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At the staff meeting, Catbert says to Dilbert and Wally, "your personal lives reflect on this company." Catbert continues, "From now on, a strict dress code will be enforced in your homes." At home Dilbert says to Dogbert, "On the plus side, it's one less decision I have to make every day." He's wearing a coon skin cap, suspenders, a tu-tu and knee-high boots.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 24, 1998's comic on:


Tags #personal habitats, #cubicles, #hellhole junior, #pictures

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Dogbert stands on the Boss's desk and says, 'I can replace your cubicles with 'personal habitats'." Dogbert says, "They look exactly like cubicles, but we've made huge advances in what they're called." The Boss asks, "Is it expensive?" Dogbert explains, "If money is an issue, you could start with the 'Hellhole Junior' model and upgrade later." The Boss asks, "Do you have pictures?"