Personal Goal Comic Strips - Page 3

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232 Results for Personal Goal

View 21 - 30 results for personal goal comic strips. Discover the best "Personal Goal" comics from Dilbert.com.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share March 11, 1994's comic on:


Tags #no raise, #engineers wuit, #the goal, #reduce headcount, #smart people leave, #organize pot luck

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Dilbert: "I'm telling you - if nobody gets a raise, half the engineers will quit!" The Boss: "That's the goal. We're trying to reduce headcount by fifty percent." Dilbert: "But all the smart people will leave!" Dilbert: "Would you mind organizing a goodbye potluck lunch for them?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 1994's comic on:


Tags #bank off head, #coach, #field, #game, #glasses, #goal, #soccer, #strike, #team players, #Sports

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Player man: dilbert, you'll be playing the left striker position. Player man: one of our good players will try to strike tony in th head with the ball and bank it in the goal, LIZ: "It" being the ball not your head. Dilbert: Id better take off y glasses. LIZ: No, don't, I included their dampening effect in my calculations.

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share January 31, 1995's comic on:


Tags #ignorance, #no limits, #idiotic, #opinions, #personal hygiene, #cyberspace, #flame boy, #step inside

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Dilbert types, "Your ignorance seems to have no limit. Your opinions are idiotic." Dilbert continues typing, "Your personal hygiene leaves much to be desired. Your family is ugly." He enters, "Send e-mail." Peering over the cubicle wall, Wally says to Dilbert, "You're mighty brave in cyberspace, Flame-boy." Dilbert replies, "Step inside."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share February 04, 1995's comic on:


Tags #assignments by priority, #won't waste time, #unimportant stuff, #a priority, #personal life, #must do, #b priorities

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The Boss stands in front of Dilbert who is seated at his desk. The Boss hands Dilbert a document and says, "I ranked all of your assignments by priority so you won't waste time on unimportant stuff." Dilbert reads the document and says, "Everything is an 'A' priority except for 'Personal life.'" Dilbert says, "this helps a lot." The Boss says, "I'm still working on the list of 'Must do' 'B' priorities."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 01, 1995's comic on:


Tags #pursue goal, #world domination, #talk radio host, #unique conservative view, #deserve mockery, #flawed view, #intelligent questions

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Dogbert says to Dilbert who is sitting at his desk, "I think the best way to pursue my goal of world domination is to become a talk radio host." Dogbert continues, "I'll promote my unique conservative viewpoint that people are idiots who deserve to be mocked." Dilbert asks, "Won't people show your viewpoint to be flawed by virtue of their intelligent questions?" Dogbert asks, "Like that one?"

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share May 18, 1995's comic on:


Tags #business case, #various mangers, #being misplaced, #kill for personal gain, #buried, #not cremeated, #lasting impression, #earth, #mail corpse

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Dilbert arrives at home and says to Dogbert, "Today I distributed 36 copies of my business case to various managers for approval." Dilbert sits on the armrest of the couch and continues, "By my count, 20 are being misplaced, 6 managers will try to kill it for personal gain and 10 will come back with irrelevant questions." Dilbert says, "When I die I want to be buried, not cremated, so I can at least make ONE lasting impression on the earth." Dogbert says, "I was planning to mail your corpse to somebody I don't like."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share June 16, 1995's comic on:


Tags #heavy weight, #boxing cahampion, #new goal, #ratbert, #too small, #slow, #clueless, #catching on

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Ratbert says to Bob the Dinosaur, "My new goal, Bob, is to be the next heavyweight boxing champion of the world!!" Ratbert continues, "Don't let anybody ever tell you that you're too small or too slow or too uncoordinated." Bob interjects, "Or too clueless." Ratbert responds, "Exactly! Now you're catching on."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share September 16, 1995's comic on:


Tags #meets goal, #quarter, #save head, #big imporvement, #save money, #haircut, #double goal, #less experinced, #employees, #business

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The Boss stands in front of Alice, Wally and Dilbert and announces, "If the department meets its goal for the quarter you can shave my head!" Dilbert says, "That would be a big improvement." Wally says, "He's trying to save money on a haircut." Someone asks, "If we double our goal can we iron your shirt, too?" The Boss thinks, "I need some less experienced employees."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share November 06, 1995's comic on:


Tags #personal digital assistant, #write messages, #state of the rat, #technology, #interoret handwriting

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Ratbert approaches Dilbert's desk and says, "I've come to be your personal digital assistant." Ratbert hands Dilbert a pen and says, "Use the little pen to write messages on my stomach. I'll use state-of-the-rat technology to interpret your handwriting." As Dilbert writes on Ratbert's stomach, Ratbert says, "Weave . . . me . . . a . . . cone . . . yoo . . . cupid . . . bat . . ."

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 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Share December 22, 1995's comic on:


Tags #business plans fail, #realistic goal, #manage spectacular failures, #promoted first, #most cycnical

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Dilbert sits on the couch and Dogbert sits on the armrest. Dogbert says, "Most business plans fail. Obviously, success is not a realistic goal." Dogbert continues, "But the people who manage the most spectacular failures get promoted first because of their experience." Dilbert says, "That is the most cynical thing I've ever heard in my life!" Dogbert replies, "Thanks. I'm blushing."