Poor Fiscal Planning Comic Strips - Page 3
190 Results for Poor Fiscal Planning
View 21 - 30 results for poor fiscal planning comic strips. Discover the best "Poor Fiscal Planning" comics from Dilbert.com.
Share February 28, 1996's comic on:
The Boss, Wally, Dilbert and Alice sit at a conference table. The Boss asks, "You haven't heard what the problem is yet; how can you recommend building a database to solve it??" Wally says, "We always build a database." Dilbert says, "And we'll need coffee mugs for the project team." The Boss says, "The PROBLEM is that we have poor processes." Wally responds, "That could be the slogan on our mugs!"
Share July 05, 1996's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "Let's have a little premeeting to prepare for the meeting tomorrow." Dilbert says, "Whoa! Do you think it's safe to jump right into the premeeting without planning it?" The Boss, Dilbert and Wally sit at a conference table. The Boss says, "Okay, let's get this preliminary premeeting meeting going." Wally says to Dilbert, "You think you're funny, but you're not."
Share December 28, 1996's comic on:
An attendant says to Dilbert, "This taxi is yours. Here's a description of how he'll cheat you." Dilbert sits in the back of the taxi cab and says, "It says you'll be running the meter despite the flat rate. Then you'll feign poor language skills when I question you." The driver looks crazy. Dilbert says, "I can't fault your efficiency, though." The driver hits a bicycle and a pedestrian.
Share March 01, 1997's comic on:
Dilbert, Wally, the Boss and Alice sit at a conference table. Wally says, "As you requested, I have learned to 'do more with less.'" Wally continues, "I'm doing more unnecessary work, with less planning, less intelligence, and less guilt." The Boss says, "I hate the first staff meeting after budget cuts." Wally adds, "And less career aspiration, too!"
Share October 11, 1992's comic on:
A man and woman see a sign on a building that says "Parent licenses." The man says, "We'd better check it out." Dogbert sits at a desk. The man asks, "Why do we need a license to become parents?" Dogbert replies, "Something had to be done." Dogbert continues, "Under the old system, all you needed to be a parent was a few body parts and a brain the size of a garbanzo bean." Dogbert reaches into the desk drawer and continues, "So I developed this written test to weed out the major bozos." The woman reads, "If a baby cries, you should: A. Feed it. B. Discipline it. C. Call it 'stupid.'" The man says, "You have to show it who's the boss." The woman reads, "If a child gets poor grades you should: A. Tutor him. B. Discipline him. C. Call him 'stupid.'" The man asks, "What does 'tutor' mean?" The woman reads, "An acceptable nickname for a child is: A. Junior B. Ugly C. Stupid." The man says, "Depends if it's a boy." The man asks Dogbert, "Well? Can we be parents?" Dogbert replies, "No. And you'll have to leave some body parts at the front desk."
Share July 18, 1997's comic on:
The Boss walks by Dilbert, who follows holding a piece of paper and says, "Can you explain how the company's new "Statement of Core Values" will change my behavior?" The Boss sits down at his desk. Dilbert continues, "I was planning to poison the town's water supply. But wait! It's against our core values!" The Boss says, "Is your sarcasm absolutely necessary?" Dilbert checks the document and says, "Let me check. Hmm... it's not addressed."
Share December 26, 1997's comic on:
Asok looks into Wally's cubicle. Wally says into the phone, "Wally is dead. Sorry." Asok thinks, "My role model is using deception to improve his time management." Wally leans back in his chair and sleeps. Asok looks over the cubicle wall and says, "And now the daily planning session." Alice says to Asok, "Asok, I don't think you've picked an ideal role model." Asok leans back in his chair and says, "Asok is dead."
Share August 28, 1994's comic on:
Dilbert: The image ins fuzzy because the monitor has an acute design flaw. Tina: Acute? Thats an unusual choice of words. Would you have said "acute" to a mle co worker? I think not. Dilbert: It means crucial, thats all. Tina: I know what the word means! Do you think UI odnt see right through your sexist puns? Dilbert: No! I swear . it was just a poor choice of words!! Tina: Well...okay. I accept your apology this time. So whats wrong with the other monitor? dilbert: which?
Share February 12, 1995's comic on:
Dilbert sits at his desk. The Boss says, "I'm putting you on the strategic planning team." The Boss continues, "It's like work but without the satisfaction of accomplishing anything." Dilbert and three co-workers sit at a conference table. A man says, "You're new, so let me explain how this works." The man continues, "We have meetings and talk about the company's strategy in vague emotional terms." The man continues, "In time, we convince ourselves that we're more than mediocre thinkers who sit around complaining." The man continues, "We start believing our opinions will steer the company. We feel important. We feel ALIVE!!" A woman tells Dilbert, "Then we snap out of it and make viewgraphs that say we should keep doing what we're doing." Dilbert says, "I like making viewgraphs." The woman replies, "Actually, we use last year's viewgraph."
Share October 22, 1995's comic on:
The Boss puts a transparency on the overhead projector and says, "This graphic shows our biggest obstacle to success." The diagram shows an arrow through a series of acronyms. Alice, Dilbert and Wally sit at the conference table looking confused. Wally asks, "Are you saying our biggest obstacle to success is poor graphics?" Alice replies, "I think he's saying our biggest problem is his overall inability to communicate." Dilbert says, "I think his point goes beyond communication. He's showing us that he doesn't even THINK clearly!" Wally says, "That's it!" Alice says, "High five!!" Wally shouts, "You broke the code!" The Boss says, "You know how I said you should participate more in meetings? I didn't mean it."