Poor Graphics Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

104 Results for Poor Graphics

View 21 - 30 results for poor graphics comic strips. Discover the best "Poor Graphics" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #excellent all year, #rating poor, #paper trail, #fire you, #surge of motivation, #feedback

View Transcript

Transcript

Asok is meeting with The Boss. The Boss says, "Asok, your work has been excellent all year." The Boss continues, "I'm rating you 'poor' so I'll have a paper trail in case I ever need to fire you." Asok sobs and crumples his evaluation. The Boss says, "You'll probably feel a little surge of motivation because you got feedback."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #announce record losses, #graphics department, #inebriated simians, #ratbert, #drawing, #monkey, #animals

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss says to Dogbert, "We need to announce our record losses in a way that doesn't make management look like..." Dogbert finishes The Boss' sentence, "Inebriated simian miscreants?" The Boss replies, "Right." Headline: Graphics Department. Ratbert holds up a drawing of a monkey. Dogbert responds, "They want to go in a whole other direction."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #job, #last job, #sued last job, #poor judegment, #job interview, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: Why did you leave your last job? They told me that I have incredibly poor judgment. So I sued them

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #few upgrades to design, #realize engineer, #graduate of liberal arts, #college, #broad exposure, #modern renaissance, #timing circuit, #moby dick, #charles dickens, #engineering classes, #poor engineers, #work is small, #education

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss hands Alice a piece of paper. He says, "I made a few upgrades to your design, Alice." Alice turns and says, "Do you realize you're not an engineer?" The Boss replies, "I'm better! I'm a well-rounded graduate of a liberal arts college." The Boss continues, "The broad exposure to diverse topics made me what I am today." The Boss says, "A modern renaissance man." Alice says, "You scribbled out my timing circuit and wrote in 'Moby Dick by Charles Dickens.'" The Boss says, "Exactly! I'll bet you didn't learn THAT in your engineering classes." The Boss walks away and thinks, "Poor engineers; there world is so small."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #teds shower, #baby shower, #taxes, #subsidize, #put five, #poor fiscal planning

View Transcript

Transcript

Carol: I'm collecting money for Ted's baby shower. Wally: "My taxes already subsidized his other brats. I'm taking a refund." Carol: "I just put that five in there!" Wally: "I can't be responsible for your poor fiscal planning."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #our annual report, #positive spin, #poor results, #stock plummenting, #can't afford us

View Transcript

Transcript

"Tina, I want you to write our annual report." "How should I explain our poor results?" "Just give it a positive spin." "If you have to ask why our stock keeps plummeting, you can't afford us."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #evil director, #downsizing, #human way, #marketing ones, #giant dung beetle, #ball, #poor performers

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Evil Director of Human Resources "The downsizing will be handled in the most humane way I could think of." "I hired a giant dung beetle to roll the poor performers into a ball and out the door." "I can't get the marketing ones to stick. They keep sliding off."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #honesty, #managers & supervisors, #bad job, #new assignment, #poor job, #matching skills, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Can you explain why you're doing such a bad job on your new assignment? Dilbert: Yes I can: some idiot did a poor job matching my skills to my assignment. Boss: Let's try it again, but this time say something bad about yourself. Dilbert: I'm too honest?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #poor persons, #rich people, #invented ethics, #trash talk

View Transcript

Transcript

CEO: Did you know that poor people invented ethics to control rich people? Nice try, poor people! It's not working! If they haven't killed me by now, a little trash talk won't make any difference.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business ethics, #executives, #poor persons, #ceo morality test, #new tech, #fracking, #grinding porr people, #high pressure, #shale

View Transcript

Transcript

Dogbert: Imagine I invented a new technology for fracking. It involves grinding poor people into a slurry and pumping it into shale at high pressure. Do you see any problems with that? CEO: Not enough shale! CEO Morality Test