Position Of Power Comic Strips - Page 3
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Dogbert stands at a desk and types, "Although raising children is difficult, be assured that you will get help from a power greater than yourself." Dogbert types, "Teach your children about the higher power and about the 'Great Book' which will give them direction." A baby sits in a chair in front of a television. The father says, "They're called 'tv listings.' Without them, you're just flipping."
Dilbert and Dogbert sit on the grass. Noriko stands between them saying, "You adults are ruining the planet for my generation." Noriko continues, "We kids have no power now, but I'm taking names. When we take power we'll ship you all to a penal colony on Mars." Dilbert replies, "There's no oxygen on Mars." Noriko says, "Oh, NOW you learn to plan ahead."
Noriko: Stop right there, mister adult! You've got some explaining to do to my generation. The Boss: It's quite simple, really children have no political power. So we adults can plunder the planet, run up huge debts, then die and fat and happy! Noriko: I've never seen anybody lifted by his briefs and spun in the air like that. Bob: That's my "twirling wedgie."
Dogbert: "You're unsuccessful in love because you keep forgetting opposites attract." Dogbert: "Logically, the woman who would be most attracted to you are beautiful and intellectually stimulating." Dilbert: "You're right. I've been underestimating my drawing power." Dogbert: "And women love it when you pose like this for them."
Wally stands in front of the Boss's desk and says, "I suddenly realized that MY job performance reflects on YOUR career." Wally continues, "The balance of power has shifted. Unless I get what I want, I'll lower my performance until you get fired." The Boss responds, "Ha! There's no way you could lower your job performance." Wally says, "Curse your eyes!"
Dilbert sits at a conference table with the Boss and Dogbert. Dogbert says, "I promise that if I decide to buy your company I'll gladly recommend a position for each of you." Wally, who is also sitting at the table, asks, "Really? You'd make sure we all got jobs?" Dogbert answers, "No, but I'll recommend a 'position.'" Dilbert and the Boss look shocked.
Dilbert stands in front of a the Vice President of Marketing's desk. The VP reads a document and says, "I could give you marketing's approval right now . . ." The VP continues, "Or I could flex my vice presidential power and send you to gather more useless data . . . My ego would expand and I'd be a major stallion with my wife tonight." The VP asks Dilbert, "Do you think you can top that?" Dilbert replies, "Ill try, sir. What's your wife's address?"
As they walk down a corridor, Alice says to Dilbert, "Maybe you shouldn't have told Stan you programmed his DNA through the LAN." Alice continues, "Those marketing guys believe anything. They even believe market research, for heaven's sake." As Stan approaches, Alice says, "There's no telling what the power of suggestion might do." Stan, whose facial features now resemble those of a weasel, says to Dilbert, "Well, thank you very much."
Dogbert stands on a desk and says to Wally, "It's funny - before your company bought that critical system from me, YOU had all the power . . ." Dogbert yells, "But now, only I can provide essential upgrades!! I call the shots, you simple fool!!" Dogbert says, "Send in the next employee." Outside the cubicle Dilbert and another employee are standing in line holding numbers. The man says, "At least we don't have any multi-vendor compatibility issues."
Dilbert sits in his chair reading a book and Dogbert sits on his legs. Dogbert asks, "Why do you waste your time reading books?" Dilbert replies, "Because reading increases my knowledge, and knowledge is POWER." Dogbert says, "But power corrupts . . ." Dogbert continues, ". . . And corruption is a crime . . ." Dogbert continues, "And crime doesn't pay . . ." Dogbert's ears fly up and he says, "If you keep reading, you'll go broke!!!" Dilbert stands up and puts the book on the chair. He says, "Gosh! It always seemed so . . . So . . . Harmless." Dogbert says, "Oh yeah, the librarians would LOVE to have you believe that!"