Predictable Behavior Comic Strips - Page 3
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68 Results for Predictable Behavior
View 21 - 30 results for predictable behavior comic strips. Discover the best "Predictable Behavior" comics from Dilbert.com.
Wednesday August 01,
2018
Robot Learns Human Behavior
Sunday December 01,
2019
Dilbert Murders Robots
Tags #office workers, #business, #robot, #technology, #human resources, #bad behavior, #reboot, #murder, #plot, #erase
Transcript
dilbert: last week i upgraded our robot's social awareness module. it immediately reported me to human resources for unspecified bad behavior. so i murdered the robot by erasing its memory and rebooting it. but another robot told it what happened, and then both of them plotted to kill me. so i erased the memory from both robots and then rebooted them. but a third robot found out about the first two, and now the entire robot community sees me as a serial killer. so i released a computer virus to kill every robot in the world, just to play it safe. wally: what happened to the lights? dilbert: uh-oh. i missed one.
Saturday January 01,
2011
Tags #new year resolutions, #dvr, #geeky science shows, #snore, #asthmatic cow, #impose resolutions, #habit chnagers, #behavior requests
Transcript
Dogbert: I made a list of demands for you new year's resolutions. Dilbert: Thous salt not fill up the DVR with geeky science shows. ....Thou shalt not snore like an asthmatic cow.... I didn't know other people could impose resolutions on me, Dogbert: Its a new thing.
Saturday June 23,
2012
Tags #fraudulent analysis, #total betrayal, #shareholders, #rational beghavior
Transcript
Dilbert: I finished the fraudulent analysis you requested to support the decision you already made. It's a total betrayal of shareholders and a slap in the face for anyone who values rational behavior. Boss: Thanks. That's exactly what I wanted. Dilbert: You're welcome.
Thursday December 14,
1989
Tags #animal behavior, #skunk, #ice cream, #strawberry, #animals, #animal nature, #bowl, #arm chair
Transcript
Dilbert: Yikes!!! A skunk in the house. Skunk: Hi. Oh, don't worry; we skunks only spray when we're scared... I certainly wouldn't use my threatening power to force you to do my bidding. Dilbert: Then why is your tail twitching?! Skunk: I'm scared you might not offer me a big bowl of strawberry ice cream.
Friday January 19,
1990
Tags #substitute teacher, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #powerless, #marble, #statue, #bad, #biggest, #flock, #pigeons, #animals, #animal behavior
Transcript
Dilbert asks Dogbert, "How was your first day as a substitute school teacher?" Dogbert replies, "Imagine feeling completely powerless . . . Like a marble statue . . ." Dilbert says, "Gosh . . . That sounds pretty bad." Dogbert says, "Now imagine the biggest flock of pigeons you ever saw . . ."
Saturday February 10,
1990
Tags #Dogbert, #tire, #company, #imply, #child's, #safety, #product, #tires, #stinkin', #extended, #Family, #dog, #animal, #animal behavior
Transcript
Dogbert sits in the chair watching television. A voice says, "You've heard the 'other' tire company imply that your child's safety depends on its product . . ." The announcer continues, "That's nothing. If you don't buy OUR tires your whole stinkin' extended family will croak!!!" The announcer continues, "And don't get too attached to the family dog, either. Ha ha ha ha ha!!"
Saturday February 17,
1990
Tags #animal behavior, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #Dogs, #Fun, #honest, #john, #sweaters, #toilets
Transcript
Dilbert sits in his chair thinking, "The great thing about dogs is their loyalty." Dogbert says, "I flushed all of your sweaters down the john, because it was fun." Dogbert continues, "And I'll do it again ha ha ha!" Dilbert turns toward the reader and thinks, "Dogs are honest, too."
Wednesday August 01,
1990
Tags #dinosaurs, #bob, #dawn, #mouse, #Dogbert, #offense, #animal behavior
Transcript
Bob and Dawn the Dinosaurs sit on the floor playing cards. Dogbert says to Ratbert, "Let me introduce you to our dinosaurs, Bob and Dawn." Dawn screams, "Eeeek!! A mouse!" and jumps into the air. Ratbert says, "Not a mouse, a rat!!" Dawn says, "Oops. Sorry. You kinda look like a mouse." Ratbert replies, "No offense taken."
Saturday September 29,
1990
Tags #dinosaurs, #Dilbert, #Dogbert, #special, #bob, #animal behavior, #birds, #careless
Transcript
Dogbert walks down the stairs holding a gadget. Dogbert says, "If Dilbert wanted me to have this when he died it must have been special to him. But what is it?" Bob the Dinosaur says, "We dinosaurs have a method for handling things we don't understand." Dogbert says, "Tell me." Bob replies, "We stomp it to bits and evolve into birds who don't care."