Predicted Success Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

177 Results for Predicted Success

View 21 - 30 results for predicted success comic strips. Discover the best "Predicted Success" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #future of company, #project leader, #passion fro success, #extra pay, #vague preference, #allergy medication

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss stands in front of a chart and says, "Our next product will determine the future of our company." The Boss turns and looks at Dilbert and Wally who are sitting at the conference table. He says, "I need a project leader who has a passion for success!" Wally raises his hand and asks, "Would that leader get extra pay?" The Boss replies, "It's not about money, Wally. It's about a passion for success!" Wally turns to Dilbert and Alice and says, "All I have is a vague preference. How about you?" Dilbert puts his hand to his head and says, "Yes, I'm feeling something...Maybe it's..." The Boss looks frustrated as Dilbert says, "No, it's just my allergy medication." The Boss throws up his hands as Wally asks, "What was it like?" Dilbert replies, "It tingled."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #key to success, #really fast, #speed, #ok to fail

View Transcript

Transcript

Pointing to a picture of a man running, the Boss says to his staff "Speed is the key to success." Dilbert raises his hand and asks, "Is it okay to do things wrong if we're really fast?" The Boss answers, "Um...no." Wally says to Dilbert, "Now I'm all confused. Thank you very much."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #magazine, #key to success, #optimistic, #fail, #point succeeding, #feels good

View Transcript

Transcript

The boss says to Dilbert, "The key to success is to remain optimistic even when you fail." Dilbert says, "What's the point of succeeding if failing feels good too?" The boss says, "I'll read another page of the magazine article tomorrow and get back to you."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #investment banker, #merger success, #corrupt auditors, #corrupt cfo, #stock analysts, #greedy bankers, #clueless board memebers

View Transcript

Transcript

Headline: Dogbert the Investment Banker. Dogbert says to The Boss, "We have all of the elements to make the merger a success." Dogbert continues, "... Corrupt auditors, corrupt CEO, corrupt stock analysts, greedy bankers and clueless board members." The Boss asks, "And you?" Dogbert replies, "What are you implying?"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #website, #customer success, #closest things, #complaint letters, #few words, #kick to kiss, #change context, #reviews, #technology

View Transcript

Transcript

"Tina, we need some customer success stories for the web site." "The closest things we have are these complaint letters. Just change a few words." "Change 'kick' to 'kiss' and this one is done, albeit disturbingly."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #accounting system, #profitable, #manage randomlt, #claim success, #funding, #hug

View Transcript

Transcript

"Our accounting system is so inaccurate that we don't know how profitable anything is." "It's so bad that you could manage randomly and claim success no matter what happens." "I was looking for funding, not a hug."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #product designer, #success, #best artists, #design professionals, #ate crayons, #intruders

View Transcript

Transcript

Product designer Dogbert: Good design is essential to you success. Thats why I empty only the best artists and design professionals. Who ate all the crayons again?! Ratbert: Intruders?

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #business trip, #success, #civil war, #plunged, #society, #darkenes, #loot anything

View Transcript

Transcript

Wally: "My business trip to Elbonia was a success." "If anyone tells you that I cause a civil war that plunged their society into darkness, it's a lie." The Boss: "Did you loot me anything?" wally: "I didn't know your size."

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #minor success, #chance corporate ruination

View Transcript

Transcript

The project has a 70% chance of minor success and a 30% chance of corporate ruination. The Boss: I like those odds. when can we start. Dilbert: Start? I wish we had ten more projects like this one.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags #managers & supervisors, #prosperity, #intuition, #market research, #success rate, #binary choices, #tiny manager, #made of copper, #business

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: From now on, I'm going to rely on my intuition instead of market research. Dilbert: If guessing can bring your success rate up to 50% for binary choices, I'm all for it. Hey, look! I found a tiny manager made of copper in my pocket!