Project Finished Comic Strips - Page 3
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746 Results for Project Finished
View 21 - 30 results for project finished comic strips. Discover the best "Project Finished" comics from Dilbert.com.
Tuesday February 08,
2011
Tags work ethic, charged project, accountants, arsenic based life forms, natural enemy
Transcript
Accounting Dilbert says, "You charged my project for expenses that aren't mine." Finance Troll says, "Let me see that." Finance Troll says, "We accountants are arsenic-based life forms. That makes you my natural enemy." Dilbert says, "That is not logical." Finance Troll says, "Live long and phospher."
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marketing, project, cloud, catbert, leadership, budget, birthday, engineer, time sheet, sales, wally, strategy, dogbert, powerpoint, project management, topper, leader, boss, change, meeting, data, management, mordac
Monday February 21,
2011
Tags engineers, laziness, project budget, new technology, slow learner, expensive
Transcript
Woman says, "You used the entire engineering portion of my project budget just learning the new technology." Wally says, "I'm sorry things didn't work out for you." Wally says, "Some say I'm a slow learner, but I like to think of myself as expensive."
Monday May 30,
2011
Tags quarreling, suspicion, work ethic, work independantly, boss, preemptive strike, project update
Transcript
Wally: I can't work for a boss who doesn't trust me to work independently! Boss: Is this a preemptive strike so I won't ask why you didn't turn in a project update? Wally: And more distrust. How do you live with yourself?
Thursday June 16,
2011
Tags office workers, teds project, overlap, initiated discussions, create framwork, complementary architectures, leadership
Transcript
Boss: Wally, have you done anything to address of your project with Ted's project? Wally: Yes, I've initiated discussions to create a framework that would allow us to adopt complementary architectures. Boss: So... nothing. Wally: When did we stop calling it leadership?
Thursday July 28,
2011
Tags annoyance, conversation, mumbled after thoughts, finished design
Transcript
Coworker: Wally, you said you'd be finished with the design by now. Wally: I said I would start on it by now. Coworker: That is not what you said! Wally: You need to listen more carefully to my mumbled afterthoughts.
Tuesday November 22,
2011
Tags embarrassed of son, Family, food service industry, insult, locksmith, mother, named project manger, paying for lunch, restaurants, sons occupation, don't tell freinds
Transcript
Mom, the good news I wanted to tell you is that my boss named me project manager. Mom: Please keep that to yourself. I tell my friends you're a locksmith. Dilbert: You're paying for your own lunch. Waiter: I'm Ed. I'll be your project manager.
Wednesday November 23,
2011
Tags fraternization, meetings, emails, no one responded, project timeline, consensus nor reality, illusion of progress
Transcript
Dilbert: Once again, none of you responded to my emails this past week. So I put together a project time line that reflects neither consensus nor reality. Wally: Can I have a copy so I can mock it? Dilbert: No, I'm still enjoying the illusion of progress.
Friday December 02,
2011
Tags frustration, joking, project staus update, improve listening skills, repeating
Transcript
Boss: Alice, I need your project status update by end of day. Alice: Ahleth, ah wan yer proja thatuth updah, fuh-fuh-fuh. I'm trying to improve my listening skills by repeating what people say.
Wednesday January 04,
2012
Tags suspicion, thinking, new information, project scope, anticipate, think
Transcript
Dilbert: Based on this new information, you'll want to change our project scope. Boss: I don't do that. Dilbert: What? Think? Today I learned it's better if I don't try to guess what people mean.
Saturday January 07,
2012
Tags language, thinking, project management, life cycle, abtraction, weightless, management process
Transcript
Ted: The project management framework embodies a project life cycle and five major project management process groups. Dilbert: Oh no! The extreme level of abstraction has made us weightless! Ted: That doesn't even make sense.