Project Manager Comic Strips - Page 3

You can also use "quotes" and & to narrow down results.

822 Results for Project Manager

View 21 - 30 results for project manager comic strips. Discover the best "Project Manager" comics from Dilbert.com.

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work load, complaints, drowning in work, priorotize, fax, new guy set, faxing project, reading comics

View Transcript

Transcript

The Boss: "Carol, the new manager hasn't hired an admin. so I said he could share you." Carol: "What?!!" "I'm drowning in work, and you want to double my load???!!!" The boss: "It's no big deal. Just prioritize your work." "And I need you to fax this." Carol: "No can do." "My top priority is getting the new guy all set up." The Boss: "Hmmm... I guess that's fair. I'll send him over." Carol: "I can't order your business cards, I need to do a huge faxing project!" "Hee hee! Marmaduke is sitting on something again!"

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
 - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags stock investing, valuable data, project on schedule, refines data, ceo, accountants, nanotaechnology, discount brokerage, investors, secret society, donald trumps

View Transcript

Transcript

dogcart explains stock investing Dogbert: pay attention. First, employees provide data. Th boss: is your project on schedule? Wally: I didn't know I had a project. A Manager refines the data. The boss: we're on schedule. The CEO gives visibility to analysts. CEO: no problems whatsoever. Accountants publish bad news in footage notes using a combination of nanotechnology and gibberish. Accountant: still too obvious. -Discount brokerage firms tell you that you're smart- Use you own ideas! Investors do their own research Buy it because I did. Thank you unbiased stranger! A secret society of Donald Trump look alike end up with all your money trumps: you're fired. you are!

What Phase Of The Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
What Phase Of The Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags insult, insulting, project, questioning

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: What phase is your project in? Dilbert: This is the phase where people ask stupid questions. Boss: How long does it last? Dilbert: It isn't looking good for today.

Manager Of The Year Award

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Manager Of The Year Award - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags attendance, manager, management, laissez faire, cause and effect, award, accolade

View Transcript

Transcript

Catbert: Employees voted you "Manager of the Year." As usual, this honor is going to the manager with the worst attendance. We're hoping it's more of a correlation than a causation thing.

Wally Heads Up Ai Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Wally Heads Up Ai Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags work ethic, laziness, project, fake

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Wally, I need you to head up our artificial intelligence project. You will have no budget and no hope of success. I just like saying we're working on AI. And you're completely useless, so it's a good match. Wally: I won't let you down.

Electric Car Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Electric Car Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags manager, labor, time, time management, obliviousness

View Transcript

Transcript

Boss: Welcome to the first meeting of our project to design an electric car. We've never tried to build an electric car, but how hard could it be? Dilbert: It's very hard. Boss: It doesn't feel that way. My part is mostly talk.

Project Update

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Project Update - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, project, update, plan, read, imaginary

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: did you send me your project update? dilbert: were you planning to read it? boss: no dilbert: then i totally sent it too you boss thinking: half of my job is imaginary

Assigning Dilbert To Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Assigning Dilbert To Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, network, redesign, project, phase, positive, optimistic, assign, sarcasm

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert, i'm assigning you to the network redesign project. dilbert: what phase is that project in? is it in the initial stage, in which everyone is feeling positive and optimistic? or is it in the middle phase, in which everyone is finding away and hating the other team members? boss: it's in the death spiral phase. everyone is trying to assign blame to someone they already hate. they requested that i add you to the team. dilbert: to save the project? boss: um...okay, sure.

Make Or Break Project

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Make Or Break Project - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, technology, project, career, performance, budget

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: dilbert, i'm putting you in charge of a project that will make or break your career. this is the big one. the rest of your life will depend on how you perform on this project. dilbert: what's my budget? boss: no budget.

Blaming The Last Manager

Thank you for voting.
Hmm. Something went wrong. We will take a look as soon as we can.
Blaming The Last Manager  - Dilbert by Scott Adams

Tags business, managers & supervisors, wrong, fault, manager, inherited, problem, excellent, leadership

View Transcript

Transcript

boss: everything that went wrong this year was the fault of the prior manager. i inherited his problems. dilbert: but everything that went right was because of your excellent leadership? boss: no jumping ahead.